How Do We Go About And Influence Those Of Lower Levels On The Graves Model Of Psychological Development?

[7thLetter]

So I was doing a bit more research on the Graves model of psychological development, I believe I'm leaning towards stage Green but a part of me is still at stage Orange. I also read how the different levels view each other and the judgements that are made. Then I read about how stage Orange views stage Green's level of thinking as irrelevant to their success and must be ignored. Which I highly agree with, because I have a PUA friend who is rigorously at stage Orange and I've been displaying my stage Green qualities around him. We think very differently, and he thinks that there's just something wrong with my inner game and that I should change it. So it has been a huge realization to me that it's true what the studies say about what each level thinks about each other. Recently we stopped hanging out/gaming together because clearly I'm irrelevant to his success with women.

How do we go about and influence those of other levels to move up the ladder on the graves model of Psychological Development?

Or how do we influence people to be open-minded enough to psychologically develop themselves in general?

Edited February 27, 2016 by 7thLetter

[Leo Gura]

Now you sorta feel my predicament with teaching you guys higher level concepts: most people simply are not willing to hear them. Over 50% of the stuff I say people reject simply through reflex, even though it could help them greatly if they just listened with a more open mind. Which is why I keep stressing openmindedness so much, and I rant against dogma so much.

Overcoming these ego-defenses is a billion-dollar skill!

It's sort of an art form. You have to learn how to think at their level and construct a case which appeals to their level's value system.

So you might try to show the Orange PUA how his relentless quest for more external objects isn't satisfying, even to his own ego. Or how he could be even more productive and creative when he gets in touch which his intuitive, emotional side. Or how he will only be able to actually maintain a longer-term relationship with his dream girl once he attracts her if he starts to open up to the possibility of relating on more than just sex. Or use scientific studies to back up your claims. Orange people are suckers for scientific studies and rational arguments.

But the person may still not be convinced no matter how hard you try because they simply aren't ready to move on to the next stage yet.

The more important question you should ask yourself is: Why am I so invested in changing him? Could this just be a distraction from changing myself?

[Key Elements]

This is not an easy thing to do. What I learned in this life is, "Real life is the hardest teacher." Instead of facing a hardship, the person may want to ask himself/herself, "what are the consequences to what I'm doing?" And, "why do others behave the way they do?" The person will have to be opened to all the different answers on different sides and choose wisely.

[vizual]

Wanting to change other people is just a subtle form of your own insecurity. You are asking for validation for your own way of thinking.

Just lead by example, don't waste your time trying to change other people, change yourself first. if other people see you happy and successful, people will want to adapt themselves to you. Don't delude yourself into thinking there are higher forms of the Graves model or whatever, that stuff is just an illusion and can easily become an ego trip if you believe in it to be true.

[Henri]

You can influence them by speaking on their own level and just a little ahead of them.

@vizual Not always like that. It can be important when you work with different people on a project. These levels of cultural development can be a real burden for any progress.