Should I give meditation a break?

[rorghee]

I've been meditating for 20+ mins everyday for about a year and a half, and for a long while my meditation habit has felt like a chore that had to be done. I remember the reason I started the habit was to help improve my mental state and be less depressed and think higher of myself and for ego reasons and none of this has improved. After ages of waiting for something like that to happen I realised that it wasn't going to happen and that I should improve my life for those needs. Meditation at this point feels like it's worsening my general well being and 90% of my sits are bad ones where I have non stop monkey mind or just don't feel good, and in fact making my mind dwell on negative thoughts constantly while I attempt at not stopping those thoughts.

I've stopped the habit for a week now and lately I've felt a lot better which is surprising, I feel more aware and don't take my thoughts so seriously, can more easily snap out of thoughts, generally more chilled out, no more 'oh I have to meditate' and sitting to meditate unconsciously. I feel this is the last thing I expected from quitting for a week, I guess it made my mind more sensitive or something? can anyone explain why this is happening and if I should just quit or am I making a huge mistake since it's like 1.5 years of learning for nothing. I've definitely learned a lot in those years of how my mind works and to not resist thoughts etc. but nothing huge and most things I've learned could be learned just by growing up (started at 15, am now 17, so am naturally more aware) and I'm worried if I stop I will eventually lose everything I learned and return to a normal state (even though I don't really feel any major differences to before I started meditating and think my Mindstate right now is shared by a lot of normal people) and also quitting before the apparent exponential growth curve. 

Part of me wants to see what happens if I stop for a few months to see what happens and another part wants me not to stop because of obvious reasons. I know no one can make the decision for me but I'm a bit confused 

tldr: meditation hasn't really helped so stopped meditating for a week, feel better for some reason like everything is brand new to me, don't know if I should continue this break or this feeling will eventually stop, and don't know why I feel better and more accepting of myself 

 

Sorry for long ass paragraphs but would be very grateful if someone could have a read and share relatable experiences and advice/help thanku!

Edited January 4, 2018 by rorghee

[Vlad Ropotica]

Hello rorghee, i've been meditating for three years now (and i'm still doing it ) i started it because i really wanted to get out of a terrible depression ,in short time (like two months) i started to feel more happy and sometimes i experienced moments when i had no thoughts,but after a year i experienced the same problem ,my maditation habit not only that was harder to do but it was making my life more stressed ,but i didn't give up because i never experienced something that changed my life in such a way like meditation,so after a long period of time i realised that i was reeeeeaaaaaally angry ,and i didn't know how to ''express '' that anger ,until one time when someone said something that infuriated me and i started to to flex my forearm (i don't know a better word for this :))  ) and all of a sudden i felt like i released some negative energy lets say,i want to ask you:  do you feel like your thoughts are '' exploding '' in your head? do you sometimes feel like you want to punch something? if yes ,don't do it , but try to get angry,flex your muscles, even growl if you want(imagine some guys from the gym) ,punch a pillow.

Some people experience a lot of anger during their meditation habit ,including me ( when i found out about this i screamed,flexed and got angry for a whole month non stop) ,but don't give up on meditation ,there is a possibility that the meditation itself creates this negative energy (to some people) that you need to release,but there will be amazing benefits if you continue it . Even Leo had a video where he said that some meditators may experience huge frustration.

Edited January 4, 2018 by Vlad Ropotica

[rorghee]

Oh also an unintentional benefit of quitting meditation is that now I feel more connected with people since before i couldnt really talk about what goes on in my head and about meditation as no one, especially my age does it so yeah I feel more apart of life and life feels more chilled out and less alone in the past days of no meditation 

[Vlad Ropotica]

I hope this is the reason why your meditation stopped working ,i don't know how you meditate ,but if you ask me ,i try to keep it simple,if you concentrate on a single point for a long period of time your mind and body relax ,for example ,when you concentrate on your breath 

[rorghee]

@Vlad Ropotica I'm not exactly angry with meditation, I'm more just becoming disinterested and feel like it's not serving me in any way. Also when abouts did meditation start getting better for you? Or is it still extremely frustrating and draining

[rorghee]

@Vlad Ropotica Yeah also my meditation has become a bit complicated sometimes I don't know what I'm doing and I'm thinking of just practicing concentration or self acceptance, like something that I can directly see would help me in life rather than feeling like I'm getting no where

[Vlad Ropotica]

a meditation is done well when it leads you to long periods of relaxation(or calmness,peace),or at least a number of seconds if you're a beginner,for me it seems that the concentration one is one of the best.

[Vlad Ropotica]

After a lot of meditation ,your whole life becomes meditation , i don't have to start my meditation anymore,if i sit i get relaxed ( just trying to tell you some benefits   ) 

[Vlad Ropotica]

And if you think that meditation gets you nowhere you're deeply wrong ,there are a lot of things that i don't believe when it comes to meditation (counciousness,awareness,a lot of philosophical theories) but there are also some things that are real for me and i experienced them,like feeling intense happines for long periods of time (i was just waking up and didn't want to get out of my meditation position because it felt too good ,for like 6 hours)

[rorghee]

@Vlad Ropotica what is it you use for your concentration meditation and is your technique picking an object and just ignoring everything else? I tried it in the past and found it really hard to go for even 2mins so I did letting go/do nothing instead

[Vlad Ropotica]

@rorghee i concentrate on my lips's sensation , you don't ignore anything ,you just pay attention to a single thing,and don't worry first time it will be almost impossible to concentrate for a long period of time ,it will get way easier after some sessions,its ok if you manage to concentrate for a number of seconds

[Vlad Ropotica]

@rorghee you can concentrate on whatever you want ,i keep my eyes closed when i meditate and that's why i choose a body sensation

[rorghee]

@Vlad Ropotica in the past I think I've overcomplicated this a bit because whenever I pick a target to concentrate on after a while , my mind gets to used to the target and gets bored of it and it's really hard to concentrate on, but I'll give it a go again 

Edited January 4, 2018 by rorghee

[rorghee]

Also Is this technique any different to the concentration practice Leo uploaded called 'concentration vs meditation'?

[Vlad Ropotica]

@rorghee try to overcome the feelings that distract you and remember to concentrate on the same thing ,over and over again.This is about your wellbeing after all

[rorghee]

@OnewithVerse yeah I was thinking along those lines i may just cut my meditation down even though Leo and others always say to do it everyday, would like to know what the man himself would say to this @Leo Gura

[Nahm]

@rorghee May I ask, what are you actually doing in your meditation? 

[pluto]

Try mindfulness practices or finding activities that keep your focus on the present moment or doing things that you love to do or are passionate about. These seem to help keep my consciousness/awareness higher than meditation alone. Find what works best for you.

For example: I like to Dance or Swim or Gardening/working with nature i feel a surge of positive energy afterwards especially when i am completely in the moment with it and not "thinking about things" during the activities.

Be one with whatever you are doing, everything else takes care of itself.

[star ark]

TC you can meditate in the spaces between the sentences you speak. You can meditate with your eyes open just walking. You can meditate waiting in line to buy something. You can put a chair in your shower, sit down and get nice and warm and try and focus on every sound, try and hear each individual drop of water hit the ground, try and FEEL every drop of water on your body, not just the sense of a whole bunch of water making you wet. Feel the steam. Feel the steam and the droplets of water at the same time, then maintain those two sensations and try and  add the sounds, the sounds of the water, the sounds of the fan. Crazy stuff may happen, you will hold this point of focus where you are in this void of feeling so much more than you do in your waking life.

So that's just how i shower each morning, and now each night because I am freaking addicted to it. It may not even qualify as meditation to experts, it's probably just mindfulness but it works exceptionally well.

[rorghee]

@Nahm usually I do a 2 min concentration then I do a about 25 or 30 mins of do nothing/letting go of the need to control anything, sometimes I do mindfulness but my concentration mostly throws me off on that one and requires too much effort