Why do I feel so damn "comfortable" suffering but cannot stand uncertainty when I don't suffer

[Nadosa]

I feel like I cant ground myself, it is just an up and down from day to day. 

Edited January 2, 2018 by Nadosa

[LaucherJunge]

@Nadosa
Because hope makes you suffer. You are still hoping for a positive outcome and resist the negative one. The resistance makes it really hard. While it is fairly easy to no resist suffering, atleast when you are at a decent self-developement level.

[Nadosa]

I don't understand, should I drop hope?

[LaucherJunge]

@Nadosa Yes, hope is always just fantasy. Start living in "reality". If you drop hope you are not in resistance to the negative outcome anymore, which will bring you the relief you are looking for. That doesen't mean that the positive can't happen anymore you can still go in that direction just without attachement to the outcome, which you will achieve by droping the hope.