The Derrida Effect

[Nexeternity]

I think I discovered something.

Yesterday and Sunday after the Derrida video I was just thinking about it and I would suddenly stop, dead in my tracks.

I was walking up the stairs in my apartment and just froze.

Its like I intuited what was really being said and I started deconstructing everything.

Like I was becoming more aware that nothing is what it seems to be, that nothing exists.

It freaked me out a bit and I felt the existential terror of it so I would snap out of it.  

It felt like going insane, dying or disappearing.

Still I felt I was onto something since that stuff happens with 5 meo and its the layers of ego being washed away or dissolved and the resistance one has to that.

So today I layed on my bed and reread the notes I took of the video.

I decided to deconstruct and surrender to it having faith I wouldnt go permanently insane and lose my "grip of reality" forever.

So I started seeing that my body was neither mine nor a body, my mind was neither mine nor a mind, objects where not objects, just sensations and sensations are not even sensations, they just are, and saying they are is too much, since, well, you get the point.  I hit this silence after a while.

The insanity kicked in and my body started spazzing.  There was no me to hold the body still.  I felt the effect of the layers of ego being pulled away and energy flowing through my body in a less obstructed way.  The spazzing was pretty symmetrical.

Its scary because once you really dive in it feels like you are not coming out, and that there isnt even a you to come out of it.  No control.

After a while I stopped though, not sure if I could have pushed it even more, but I felt that was good for now.  I feel less tension in my body and less clutter in my thinking and stuff... thats pretty nice.

And then I had the idea to write this post heh.

I want to try it again later!

[snowleopard]

Now if you can just find a way to make Derrida snortable, think of how rich you will get !

Edited January 2, 2018 by snowleopard

[Joel3102]

Similar thing happened to me when I was watching the video. I started contemplating what language actually is, and that it's just pure sounds with no instrinsic meaning, and it really fucked with my sense of reality and I had a mini freak out.

[Highest]

We speak about deconstruction, but to imply it is another thing. You know you exist, it is the most certain thing. But deconstruct all of your ideas and beliefs about reality, what remains? Simply reality, simply what is. The ''outside'' world is as it is, and you are as you are. It's that simple, but most of us can't just let reality be as it is. We have to try and conceptualize it with our mind, try and ''explain'' it with our minds, which is futile. True deconstruction is deconstructing all beliefs and ideas about reality, leaving your mind completely neutral and empty. 

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, snowleopard said:

Now if you can just find a way to make Derrida snortable, think of how rich you will get !

Derrida is best plugged 

[Nexeternity]

2 hours ago, Highest said:

We speak about deconstruction, but to imply it is another thing. You know you exist, it is the most certain thing. But deconstruct all of your ideas and beliefs about reality, what remains? Simply reality, simply what is. The ''outside'' world is as it is, and you are as you are. It's that simple, but most of us can't just let reality be as it is. We have to try and conceptualize it with our mind, try and ''explain'' it with our minds, which is futile. True deconstruction is deconstructing all beliefs and ideas about reality, leaving your mind completely neutral and empty. 

Thats the thing though... I dont know I exist.  

What is existing?  What is I?

What is reality?  What is?

Maybe all these things are not.  And to say they are not implies they once were or that they could be... and maybe thats not true either.

You look around and its like the stuff is not really there.

You look close and you see that you dont know what will happen next in life.

But then ofcourse, you do exist, stuff is there, and you can kind of steer your life in the "right" direction.

 

So yea... this is more babbling from me hehe

Probably should be meditating or something 

[Girzo]

10 hours ago, Highest said:

You know you exist, it is the most certain thing

When it comes to spirituality, that's a limiting belief. 

I was looking for a proof of my existence and couldn't find it. I could only deduct that with logic, which is faulty and unreliable, because it runs in circles. After you get that all thoughts lack any content, then it's easier to grasp that emotions and physical reality are empty too. It's weird to become aware of this for the first time, everything starts to loose meaning and seems like a masquerade.

But hey, I am nowhere near being Enlightened, so maybe I just fell into the hole and the opposite is true.

Back to Derrida. Be very cautious with dosing. Last time when I have plugged the whole book I had a terrible bad trip. Ok, no more stupid jokes, back to seriousness.  I have found the last episode about him very beneficial too.

And the thing with inducing psychedelic-like experiences while being sober is totally real and works great. Lucid dreaming is also a great tool. Even having fainted can be a spiritual experience that moves you forward in the journey if you have enough background and practice to interpret it correctly. I am speaking from my own experience.

[snowleopard]

18 minutes ago, Girzo said:

Be very cautious with dosing. Last time when I have plugged the whole book I had a terrible bad trip.

Yeah, I heard that someone jumped out of a 21st floor washroom after doing that ... anyway, no doubt the DEA will find a way to make it illegal

[Nexeternity]

I did it again!  This time sitting down  

I was meditating for a while, regular monkey mind going on, and then I remembered so I said to myself "This is neither your mind nor a mind"

I felt like a layer of resistance come off me and I started like girating my hips, my arms and shoulders, my head and neck.  

All this was like happening by itself... it just starting happening I swear!

I felt alot of energy coursing through my body.

There was alot of cracking like when you go to a chiropractor.  

After a while I started doubting though if the moving was resistance too, and if I released even more than maybe I would get still again.

Anyways I got still after a bit and then after a while I stopped meditating.

I like this thing!