Key Pickup Mindsets

[Guest Mount Bananas]

I plan on diving into the field of pickup soon, so I was wondering where to begin. I think the most important thing is to cultivate the right mindsets, so they can serve as a foundation for building social skills. Here are some that I've discovered from various different PUAs. Please tell me if you think that I've missed something, or if you have anything to contribute. Is this a good foundation? Is focusing on mindset better or is it learning techniques?

1. Women want sex

Women are highly sexual beings. They want sex just as much as men do. They think about sex and they get horny too. To deny their sexual nature is to deny a big part of them.

2. No slut-shaming mindset

In today's society, women get slut-shamed a lot. Don't be one of those guys. Accept it that women want to have fun with men. Accept it as a beautiful thing. The only way to get a woman is for her to not feel judged, for her to be comfortable. You want to become the man with whom women are comfortable. The man that women consider a natural thing to have sex with, because it's fun and not-judging.

3. Having fun mindset

You need to have fun. Self-amusement, knowing how to joke around and not take yourself seriously is attractive. If you're not having fun, drop whatever you're doing because you're faking it. Stop for a second, and think about this dance that a man and a woman play, and see how it's beautiful and entertaining. See for a second that women can be amazingly fun and playful.

Don't ever be afraid to say what you mean/think. Saying what comes authentic to you is what draws people towards you.

MAKING SURE THAT THE BOAT IS NEVER ROCKED MEANS YOU WON'T EVER CONNECT TO ANOTHER PERSON. SO STOP BEING PERFECT.

4. Abundance mindset

There are three billion women in the world. If this one doesn't work out, onto the next one. There is nothing special about one person that cannot be found in other people. Don't get mindlessly attached to one woman, because as every other woman, she is imperfect. There are thousands of women just like her, so don't sweat it, relax, chill the fuck out. Don't beat yourself up.

5. You won the set by saying hello

Let me repeat that. YOU WON THE SET BY SAYING HELLO. You are a fucking winner because you said HI. 99% of guys don't do it. You're special my friend, you've got balls and you go after what you want.

6. You are interviewing girls to see if they are good enough

This is your mission. Don't even think for a second that there is a girl out there that you don't deserve. In fact, this whole learning and going out process, is to filter out girls you don't get along with. You're already awesome, now it's time to find another already awesome person, who you consider good enough, to share your awesomeness with.

7. Show intent

Why are you there? Why are you even talking to this girl? That's right, you find her attractive and you want to have a sexual experience with her. So why hide it? Why suppress it? Show her. Show her that you like her. Show her that you think she's amazing. Project your sexual energy.

Edited January 2, 2018 by Mount Bananas

[aurum]

@Mount Bananas

Definitely a solid foundation as far as mindsets. Do not be afraid to get technical, techniques are extremely important. It's like your utility belt.

Now go out and actually do it so you can understand what you know.

[Spiral]

That's a nice list, the trick is to embody it and not just pretend. Get this and you have more than you wanted.

[SFRL]

15 hours ago, Mount Bananas said:

I plan on diving into the field of pickup soon, so I was wondering where to begin. I think the most important thing is to cultivate the right mindsets, so they can serve as a foundation for building social skills. Here are some that I've discovered from various different PUAs. Please tell me if you think that I've missed something, or if you have anything to contribute. Is this a good foundation? Is focusing on mindset better or is it learning techniques?

1. Women want sex

Women are highly sexual beings. They want sex just as much as men do. They think about sex and they get horny too. To deny their sexual nature is to deny a big part of them.

2. No slut-shaming mindset

In today's society, women get slut-shamed a lot. Don't be one of those guys. Accept it that women want to have fun with men. Accept it as a beautiful thing. The only way to get a woman is for her to not feel judged, for her to be comfortable. You want to become the man with whom women are comfortable. The man that women consider a natural thing to have sex with, because it's fun and not-judging.

3. Having fun mindset

You need to have fun. Self-amusement, knowing how to joke around and not take yourself seriously is attractive. If you're not having fun, drop whatever you're doing because you're faking it. Stop for a second, and think about this dance that a man and a woman play, and see how it's beautiful and entertaining. See for a second that women can be amazingly fun and playful.

Don't ever be afraid to say what you mean/think. Saying what comes authentic to you is what draws people towards you.

MAKING SURE THAT THE BOAT IS NEVER ROCKED MEANS YOU WON'T EVER CONNECT TO ANOTHER PERSON. SO STOP BEING PERFECT.

4. Abundance mindset

There are three billion women in the world. If this one doesn't work out, onto the next one. There is nothing special about one person that cannot be found in other people. Don't get mindlessly attached to one woman, because as every other woman, she is imperfect. There are thousands of women just like her, so don't sweat it, relax, chill the fuck out. Don't beat yourself up.

5. You won the set by saying hello

Let me repeat that. YOU WON THE SET BY SAYING HELLO. You are a fucking winner because you said HI. 99% of guys don't do it. You're special my friend, you've got balls and you go after what you want.

6. You are interviewing girls to see if they are good enough

This is your mission. Don't even think for a second that there is a girl out there that you don't deserve. In fact, this whole learning and going out process, is to filter out girls you don't get along with. You're already awesome, now it's time to find another already awesome person, who you consider good enough, to share your awesomeness with.

7. Show intent

Why are you there? Why are you even talking to this girl? That's right, you find her attractive and you want to have a sexual experience with her. So why hide it? Why suppress it? Show her. Show her that you like her. Show her that you think she's amazing. Project your sexual energy.

It's a good list. 

I would like to elaborate on point 7 though. I would call it "Make your intentions known". This is very important. You got to let her know very quickly that you are going to fuck her.

It is a common shit-test by women to try and friend-zone a guy. Why is that? Because by friend-zoning a guy she can tap into about 80% the guy got to offer without giving him sex.

As a woman she doesn't want to give it up to too many guys because if she does that she will be considered a slut. 

When she friend zones a guy she can get much of his personality without having to give IT up. 

Now you have to make clear to her that you are not that guy. She is going to get fucked. 

You will be surprised what you can get away with as long as you do it with confidence. You have a better chance of fucking her when you just bluntly tell her: "You are going to get fucked". Then when you are trying to do the whole friend thing. 

Of course you can increase your chances with good game rather then just being blunt. 

Bottom line is you should communicate to her very early on that your intent is to fuck her. And if that's is not happening then you are not going to stick around. Which brings me to point 8. 

 

8. Be willing to walk away.

I heard some great advice once that to get a great deal on a second hand car you must be willing to walk away from it. The same goes with dating women. 

Every guy should have a line that he is not going to let get crossed, his bottom line, literally as well as figuratively  or he will walk. 

Which brings me to the 3 date rule:

If she is not giving it up to you within 3 dates you walk away. You don't date her anymore, you move on to greener hunting grounds. (Kisses don't count, oral sex and hand-jobs are grey areas). 

She should have it figured out by then if she wants to fuck you or not. I would highly encourage you to fuck her on the first date. If nothing happened don't be afraid to throw the cards on the table and tell her you have a 3 date rule. I did that once after the first date and by date 3 she came around.

Walking away is not just about sex though. It is about everything in a relationship.

In a relationship the man should never be the one below the woman. She can never ever be the boss dicking you around. 

You should stand above her. You are the dominant one. It is ok to come down to her level sometimes concerning certain subjects. Let's say you are married to her and you have a kid and now you have to pick a school for the kid. She can be on equal standing with you. Just not above you. Matter of fact you can be on equal standing with her as as many times as you want. Actually doing that will make for a happier more stable relationship. Just never below her. 

To sum it up shortly. In a relationship the woman should never stand above the man. 

You have boundries. She crosses those (or other people) and you walk away. No matter the consequences. All you have in this world are your word and your balls and you break them for nobody. 

 

 

Edited January 3, 2018 by SFRL

[F A B]

Isn't pickup just a role-playing game?

I mean, actions taken within this game succeed or fail according to a hidden system of rules and guidelines. Right?

[Spiral]

@F A B Life is all a big role-playing game, by that definition in that case.

[F A B]

You can't just "be yourself".

If you want to succeed, you have to find and follow those rules. Right?

Edited January 6, 2018 by F A B

[Shroomdoctor]

7 hours ago, F A B said:

You can't just "be yourself".

If you want to succeed, you have to find and follow those rules. Right?

The point is becoming someone who thinks like that and not pretending. so you then are "yourself"

You don't want "yourself" to be a bitter, slut shaming, scarcity minded guy right? 

Edited January 7, 2018 by Shroomdoctor

[Lynnel]

@Mount Bananas Above all => take action. Go out.

I still remember to this freaking day, while it has been two fucking years how @aurum did a long ass post for @Frogfucius about approach anxiety and all the best ideas and techniques on how to beat it and I basically predicted he would never ever actually go out. And it has been 2 years so far, and he never has.

Focus on action and what you are doing and not mindsets, those will slowly be integrated later as you practice. Theory kills. Beautiful theory on how you can become amazing and get laid and this and that ? Simple day dreaming until you actually take action.

Also, abundance and interviewing girls WILL be incongruent at first because you do not have abundance until you experience it by going out enough so don't use them.

[F A B]

4 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

You don't want "yourself" to be a bitter, slut shaming, scarcity minded guy right? 

surely not! ahaha

I'm not defending the common statement "be yourself" in which it seems like you can stay still waiting for the perfect partner to come magically.

12 hours ago, F A B said:

If you want to succeed, you have to find and follow those rules. Right?

I ask this because I'm actually trying to figure out those rules, but they often seem contradictory

Edited January 7, 2018 by F A B