Creating fear and anxiety for no reason

[Dan Arnautu]

So I started seeing a pattern this past month from being more mindful.

Everyday after I meditate, I usually feel awesome, ecstatic and at peace for a few hours, but then I start getting fearful and anxious thoughts for no reason (and they kind of sweep me over and create resistance and then they turn into a vicious circle). And for me the hardest thing right now with my meditation habit is letting go of resistance.

I think I also have a subconscious resistance to feeling good ALL the time just because I never had a day where I felt awesome at every hour, and that probably turned into a habit pattern where I expect (intense) anxiety and fear everyday.

I noticed I generate my own fear from thinking that I haven't felt anxious or fearful on that respective day, and that is usually what brings the feeling on, unconsciously. 

I usually know how to dissolve these kinds of emotions when I don't need them, but sometimes they are so strong they overwhelm me and I instinctually try to run away from them instead of becoming a conductor of the feeling. And of course that just creates more resistance, anxiety and fear. 

Is the answer just to meditate more? Or is there another thing I can complementary use to experience less anxiety and fear on a day to day basis, when I don't need those emotions in my body?

[Dan Arnautu]

@Mighty Mouse I totally agree with you. I figured that out too.

The problem is letting it happen. I often go unconscious when the feelings happen and try to run away from them BEFORE I NOTICE that I'm trying to run away from them. And then the resistance just becomes stronger and harder to let go of.

Any advice on what to do in that situation?

[snowleopard]

@Mighty Mouse @Dan Arnautu  Yes, interesting inquiry there: resisting resistance

[Dan Arnautu]

@Mighty Mouse Well, there is the EFT Tapping Technique. Although I usually forget to do it in the moment.

Now that I think about it, I might do a 30 day experiment and come back with a detailed report of using that.

[snowleopard]

@Dan Arnautu  It's perhaps a tired, worn-out quote from Ramana Maharshi, but nevertheless I do often come back to it ... “Whatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try as you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may to prevent it. This is certain. The best course, therefore, is to remain silent.”...  Albeit, that could spell the end of this forum 

[Dan Arnautu]

@snowleopard Yeah, that's my biggest stumbling block while doing meditation right now. Funny thing is you don't really know in the moment if it's an enlightenment experience coming that is making the ego fearful or if it's just you freaking yourself out for no reason. 99% of the time I observed that it's the latter, but the mind thinks it's the first.

[Dan Arnautu]

2 minutes ago, Mighty Mouse said:

That IS the enlightenment experience

I think that's just becoming increasingly aware. I wouldn't consider it an e. experience because my reality wasn't turned upside down.  Or maybe I have the wrong definition of what an enlightenment experience is. 

[Dan Arnautu]

@Mighty Mouse Well then it's probably just my assumption that every enlightenment experience needs to blow your mind the fuck out and leave you baffled with no word to describe what just happened to you.

Seeing that I was causing my own fear and anxiety for no reason wasn't that mind-blowing. It was more like something that I saw and that I felt I need to take charge of and resolve.

EDIT: Although I'll admit that I tend to rarely give myself credit when I make any kind of progress at this point. Thanks for the encouragement.

Edited January 2, 2018 by Dan Arnautu

[BjarkeT]

Something that may be usefull is leos video on how to deal with strong negative emotions and cal newports blog on digital minimalism he talks about that being on the internet can create anexity if you aren't careful about how you use it

alternative here is a video where he talks about it

 

Edited January 2, 2018 by BjarkeT

[Dan Arnautu]

@BjarkeT Watched that video multiple times. I'm trying to implement what he advised there but I'm also looking for any other complementary practice.

Will check Cal Newport's blog. Read two of his books. Real insightful guy.

Thanks for the help!

[Dan Arnautu]

@Mighty Mouse Yeah. What you are saying is kinda the same thing Sadhguru said previously in one of his videos.

To paraphrase him: "You are trying to get rid of a thing which does not exist. Are you fearful right now? If not, then you will attract fear by trying to get rid of it when it doesn't exist. And to try to get rid of something which does not exist is only madness, isn't it?"

 

[cetus]

@Dan Arnautu did you check out @Azrael's Anchor post yet?

[Dan Arnautu]

2 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Dan Arnautu did you check out @Azrael's Anchor post yet?

What's that? Would you mind giving me a link?

[cetus]

@Dan Arnautu I never used a link before. Not sure how to. Page 2- 4th topic from the bottom you can find it.

[Dan Arnautu]

@BjarkeT I watched that talk a while ago. A 1-2 week detox would be possible for me, but quitting social media entirely would force me to work a 9-5 job due to the nature of my work. 

Any starting musician and business can go broke or can earn a limited amount of money if he/she/it doesn't start to capitalize on the power of social media soon. Only Apple and a few other massive companies will be able to survive without social media in the following years, due to their influence and built up rep.

Social media is no longer an add-on for the internet. It is the current state of the internet.

[Dan Arnautu]

@cetus56 Found it. Thank you.

[cetus]

@Dan Arnautu Sure. Maybe you'll find it of use.

[cetus]

@Dan Arnautu This is off the subject but are you familiar with Calum Graham? He's got a bit of a different style to his playing.

[Koyaanisqatsi]

You need to look inside, not outside of yourself. Your interpretations of perceptions are the cause of your emotions.

Only you can figure out what is causing the anxiety. You need to contemplate it or 'feel into it' to get into the core assumptions that are behind the emotion. It isn't easy, and can take multiple attempts, but once you uncover the source and can look at it for what it is, you can then determine if it's a truth or not. Usually it is not true, and seeing as such will dissolve the feeling (effectively killing it at the source).

I know this is a bit vague, but that's how I do it. Try asking 'why' a lot--you need to get to the underlying 'story' that you are telling yourself...

[Azrael]

1 hour ago, Dan Arnautu said:

What's that? Would you mind giving me a link?