Can't make conversation

[Victoria1234]

I find that whenever I'm with people I just can't make conversation. I just don't know how to and it's so difficult and frustrating because it hampers ALL my relationships, even the ones I have with my close family. But no matter how hard I try I just blank out and can't think of things to talk about and go into this quiet zone where I don't say anything. As a result of this I have now become TERRIFIED of talking to people one on one and avoid situations where I would have to be with one person alone. This obviously completely rules out the option of dating or even liking someone for that matter, because I'm always scared that I won't have interesting enough topics to talk about, and there will be awkward silences all along. I always need there to be a third party to lead the conversation. In this whole process, I lose my individuality, my confidence, and feel so lost because I don't know a way out. Please help

[ahmad ibdah]

@Victoria1234 All your problem stems from the fact that you don't have your own independent personality that has its own values, beliefs and has the right to express its own perspective of situations. You'r pleased from your self when others are pleased from you and may be because of your lack of  social experience you are not able to express yourself as others do to obtain people satisfaction. But if you really ready to be responsible for yourself and starts your path in personal development, I guarantee you   will raise your consciousness about life to the level where you are able to easily say with satisfaction"who cares about what people want ". 

[Victoria1234]

1 minute ago, Victoria1234 said:

@ahmad ibdah I agree. I just don't know how to be committed to the process of self development. I have been trying a lot but haven't gotten any significant results. Maybe it's just a matter of patience 

 

[Girzo]

Checkout this channel: Charisma on Command.

This article - The Conversationalist - might also be a helpful and interesting read for you! Cheers.

[Shroomdoctor]

@Victoria1234 Try to think about what your life is about, what you want out of life and what you would regret if you would die today. That might give you motivation to stay on the path.

[Seed]

You have to keep forcing yourself into scenarios where you need to talk until it becomes normal.. the only way to get good at talking is practise... x

[NoSelfSelf]

I have the same problem i assume you are an introvert because you think it deeply inside yourself what to say etc.to fix this you need to(same for me) get more rich life extroverts usually talk about stories,places,events they been to and what happend and they jump from one thing to another,when you go out and get into more different scenarios you can relate to and give your opinion when you speak with someone..you dont need to talk you just have to ask queastions and hear the answers and pick something to continue asking queastions or elaborate..and its ok to not talk because you dont have nothing to say to people you are with because they perhaps dont like what you like....

[Epiphany_Inspired]

It's partly because most people discuss gossip, small talk bullshit, etc... I really like this lady and her idea to switch up the conversation to "big talk". This will hopefully give you lots of ideas :