How do I get used to the depression of being more self aware?

[WaterfallMachine]

The more I know, the more I'm overcome with how much I don't know.

I had some level of arrogance. Not the "Everything is perfect and I'm better than everyone," extreme of arrogance, considering that I've been in personal development for a couple years now. But I do have some major level growth of being less assuming that I'll figure out something as fast or know more than I do.

Throughout my entire personal development, I'll always have this transition period where when I become more deeply self aware of more of my own weaknesses, mediocrities and lack of knowledge, I'll have to recover from it emotionally.

Being depressed, in fear, ashamed, angry at myself and the others like it isn't a particularly enjoyable time. So can someone please tell me some suggestions of how out of this period faster, or at least manage it?

 

 

[YaNanNallari]

Loving kindness meditation, reading to understand what's the journey like better, sticking to habits.

[Viking]

im actually going through the same, those thoughts of "how can i be this blank". though the more im aware, the more i realize thats just monkey mind. if you don't meditate you have to start.

i dunno how to deal with it except accepting yourself and loving yourself. consciousness work does this.

[Cjaryo]

Another possibility is that the intuition is sending you messages to work on a part of yourself that remains undeveloped. I agree with @Ilya in that you could work on self-acceptance/love.

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, WaterfallMachine said:

The more I know, the more I'm overcome with how much I don't know.

I had some level of arrogance. Not the "Everything is perfect and I'm better than everyone," extreme of arrogance, considering that I've been in personal development for a couple years now. But I do have some major level growth of being less assuming that I'll figure out something as fast or know more than I do.

Throughout my entire personal development, I'll always have this transition period where when I become more deeply self aware of more of my own weaknesses, mediocrities and lack of knowledge, I'll have to recover from it emotionally.

Being depressed, in fear, ashamed, angry at myself and the others like it isn't a particularly enjoyable time. So can someone please tell me some suggestions of how out of this period faster, or at least manage it?

 

 

That stuff is not ‘the self’, ime. That stuff is the ego. As in “weakness, mediocrities, lack” are thoughts we repeat that become beliefs. In actuality your ‘self’ is infinite and feels amazing to uncover. Creative activities help connection with ‘the creator’. Statements like “I’ll always” or I will never change my mind...stuff like that puts the ‘development’ on pause. Growth comes from radical open mindedness. “Be like water” Bruce Lee - comes to mind. Forgiveness is for you, not the person you forgive. It’s letting go. 

[aurum]

@WaterfallMachine

"You did not come into these bodies to have growth. You came into these bodies because growth was inevitable and you wanted to enjoy that growth."

That about sums it up for me. Yes you have weakness, yes there are many mistakes you will make, yes there are lessons you will learn.

So what?

Who says that's a bad thing?

If you knew everything already, there'd be no point to this experience. The learning is the fun part.

[ProblemSolving]

If you have negative moments and you dont like it, well then have even more negative moments and get used to this. Negative feelings are part of life and when you create too much resistance towards your feelings they get stronger. When you are happy then you just let yourself go and enjoy it, probably. Why not do the same with sadness? When you try to fight sadness and similar stuff, its basically fighting human nature. 

Fighting feelings makes only sense in short term to make yourself achieve certain things. All in all the expression of emotions is a big part of life. 

Being afraid of emotions is an infinite loop, right?

[SOUL]

People have already touched on it, embrace your own being, show it compassion, love and let the healing happen.

Although consider where or what is the source of this pain, it's the self identity. The ego builds up an identity of conditioning to address all of those things it cannot control or understand so that when you transform your 'self' through consciousness work it's like stripping the ego naked and throwing it out into the world vulnerable and defenseless.

The ego is a perpetual child and any child would be scared and saddened by this type of change. Plus it is often accompanied with condemnation and criticism for what it is and told it isn't worth anything and it is a mistake. So instead embrace it and show it love, teach it to be at peace and fulfilled through the new perspective.

If we were to tell a child it's bad, punish it for being what it is and reject it what would a child do? Act out, become an uncontrollable child...... and people wonder why their ego presents so much of an issue for them. How can anyone heal the whole being when they call a part of themselves a cancer? It's only a poison if we create it to be one in us.

So give your ego a hug and it won't cause any disharmony in your inner life, it just wants to be loved!