The Dark Side of Meditation (II)

[Dantas]

Hi guys, this topic is from a while back. But there's some stuff I want to discuss on and if any of you have some advice (in pratice, in action steps that might would help), I'd really appreciate it. 

Still having some huge ego backlashes which are colliding with one another and making me very confused. Sometimes it seems like I'm progressing very fast and there's no come back from that - sometimes I can't believe how drastic I can become uncconcious on this path. 

 

Here's the stuff I've been doing consistently or daily:

- Meditation

- Strong determination sitting

- Yoga

- Reading

- Journaling

- Clean eating

- Self-inqury

 

Dark side:

- Sometimes an insight so deep, it's almost hard to come back and do anything anymore.

- Behaviour changes between weeks

- Meditate for weeks creates a hugh backlash arising

- Nightmares (very strong and lucid ones).

 

This is not intended to be a silly ramble. Any practice and guidance you folks can give me with this can and will be put into pratice.

I already have a topic called the Dark side of meditation, but thought this should be more helpful in another one.

Thanks in advance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Nahm]

@Dantas That’s a respectable discipline. How are you now, compared to before you started doing any of those?   It seems to me that with the practices we keep becoming more self aware and can more easily deduce what we’re doing or thinking that is at the root of the ‘dark side’. Self awareness is corrective, and infallible (imo). Takes time.

When you say ‘ego backlashes’ do you mean anger, getting triggered? 

[Dantas]

@Nahm

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

How are you now, compared to before you started doing any of those?

I think my life changed a lot, and feel much better. It takes time, yes.

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

When you say ‘ego backlashes’ do you mean anger, getting triggered? 

Not necessarily anger.

Getting triggered, arrongant without noticing sometimes. Also having a hard time following up with the pratices. For example; I could feel more or less okay by meditating for almost a month, and wake up wanting to do everything in the world but meditating. It's when it can become painful.

I push through and eventually things get better.

Edited December 31, 2017 by Dantas

[Visionary]

Exercizing for grounding. Or socializing a bit maybe. Furthermore shadow work/healing/ self-love/gratitude. 

[Dantas]

@Visionary

I experimented with fitness/exercising a little this year, but haven't gotten very fat yet, as I'm not used to it.

Any shadow work/ gratitude exercises you could recommend?

[Visionary]

34 minutes ago, Dantas said:

@Visionary

I experimented with fitness/exercising a little this year, but haven't gotten very fat yet, as I'm not used to it.

Any shadow work/ gratitude exercises you could recommend?

Yes, you could keep a gratitude journal, do affirmations etc. I would recommend you to search up Matt Kahn. He is a specialist and very heart centered. Tons of vids on youtube. Lots of different sources and methods besides him btw. 

Gratitude especially is incredible it's a MUST. You need to have some patience though. It's a skill you need to cultivate

[jse]

22 hours ago, Dantas said:

Dark side:

- Sometimes an insight so deep, it's almost hard to come back and do anything anymore.
- Behaviour changes between weeks
- Meditate for weeks creates a hugh backlash arising
- Nightmares (very strong and lucid ones).

Additional dark side:
Meditation (and spiritual practices in general) can be hijacked and used by the "ego", to strengthen its grip on the illusory self ("I am the meditator", "I'm a bad meditator", etc).

[Dantas]

On 31/12/2017 at 1:32 AM, Nahm said:

 It seems to me that with the practices we keep becoming more self aware and can more easily deduce what we’re doing or thinking that is at the root of the ‘dark side’.

Oh, man. That's a hard lession. Probably learning it more and mure.

It seems to me that after a couple enlightenment experiences (real enlightenment) we tend to get more and more into nothingness's dark side. It takes a while to accpet that progress isn't all pretty

But all the same the joy comes from it. haha 

[Nahm]

@Dantas The progress is glorious, and blissful. What I was saying is, the other stuff - the dark stuff - that’s not on the path, it’s not of the connection so to speak, it’s of the separation, it’s removed from us while we stay on the path. Can’t bad mouth the path man, it never hurt a soul. jk ❤️

[Dantas]

@Nahm Thanks. I don't have your knowledge, nowhere near. But I loved your message and am committed. (-:

[Nahm]

@Dantas Thanks. Not tryin to be so contradictory, but it’s not a knowledge thing imo, this ‘dark stuff’. To me it’s like a riddle, always immediately around us, literally everywhere we are. It can be resolved now, or at any moment. The hard part is it’s like finding hay in a hay stack using a hay microscope.  It’s the closet door that is the most intelligent, the most esoteric, and the funniest punchline as it carry’s no baggage. The power of self love, and unconditional love for all is so subtle & simple, it’s incomprehensible!! ? But it’ll light up the dark if we just let it. 

[Dantas]

@Nahm It's hard, But doable. Metaphor understood.

Just one question - about the hay stack & esoteric.

I think this is too direct of a path. Most people don't go for it. As an artist and non-writer on the subject, mostly keeping journals to myself and doing healing yoga and shadow work, do you think is helpful to do more of it or expect some dark side from it, too much, too fast?

 

[Nahm]

@Dantas I would not expect any dark side whatsoever. I know this is blunt, but if it was let go of, and genuinely not expected, there would be no experience of it. Too much too fast can throw our life for a loop, but the dark stuff challenge  must be won in our minds - winning the “thoughts that become thought patterns” game. Practices empty it out, and reduce thinking until there is no chatter anymore. This makes it much easier to win the “find a little bit better feeling thought” game. I think it’s fun, quickly & highly rewarding, and momentum builds over time and when unwanted memories of events from our past are triggered, they arise to the new, higher, more positive state of mind, and are more easily seen from a higher vantage point, making it much easier to make peace with them finally.  They just won’t fit in after a while.

Peace of mind is always here, now. We must slow down to it’s speed. It will never speed up for us. Lol. But it really is available right now. You’ve been in one moment your whole life. Past & future are truly only thoughts. They are thoughts that mask, or veil the beauty and joy in this moment from us.  So, be looking for the joy of the moment, try to realize, it is always the same moment, and the fabric of the moment happening around you, is joy. The name of the game is slowing down the mind, and body, positioning us to make headway on the better thoughts momentum. 

It’s specifically important to choose self appreciating, loving thoughts when referencing our I, me, myself. Every word holds power. ‘Sit’ through, and apply awareness to, any dark that arises. 

I see the overall pattern as killing it on the determination in practices, but resistance thinking based in doubt leaves you taking 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards. Without attachment to thoughts of the past, and without repetitive self doubt thoughts - it’s just stepping forward and stepping forward. Above all, be patient with yourself. Treat you at least as good as you treat others.

All that contributes to foundation, which I think you’re doing great with. 

Then, consider taking some trips, you’re an artist right? Artists are leaders right?

[Daisydaisy]

Sometimes I think we try too hard, almost force ourselves to stick to our rituals.  I found, if I just let go not force myself to do anything.  Allow yourself the time to JUST BE  ...... it opens you up to feelings and thoughts that just flow up to the surface.

 

[Dantas]

13 hours ago, Nahm said:

Above all, be patient with yourself. Treat you at least as good as you treat others.

All that contributes to foundation, which I think you’re doing great with. 

Then, consider taking some trips, you’re an artist right? Artists are leaders right?

Thanks for your kind reply. I will try and apply it.

About the trips, I have been studying it and strategizing to take more trips & planning it for the following year. Don't want to put it too much ahead but don't want to hush it too much eather. I took one

And yes, I agree. As an artist, if I'm one at all, I should be more patient and kind at myself as I follow through. I really don't.

 

[Dantas]

@Daisydaisy That's right, mostly what I have been avoiding away. I will keep that in mind, as I countinue on. Thank you

[Nahm]

@Dantas Been there too.  Every moment is a fresh new opportunity. One after another, after another. Thank God for that. ?

[Dantas]

Update: I have been practicing a lot & things have improved. You guys were very right, I have to stay and the path, and it can happen again. But it's great.

 

To me, having patience and not being easy on this process is a whole new challange. I never faced this in my life. It's also beautiful and fun. Still learning a lot. Thank you @Nahm  for the advice.

What I learned since then:

- That reality can't be fucked up or weird is a wrong expectation (it is also beautiful because of that).

- Life purpose will really work on the face of fear, as in continuing praticing yoga and meditation as you face chalenges in your work.

- I understand these two years of knowing this channel are just the beginning. It's one thing to say it and another thing to do it. Understand real growth will not come from the desire to grow alone, but acceptance and understanding. Especially of your true self.

- Patience is a growing skill that can lead to danger. Do self-actualization for a greater love will correct your patience levels.

 

 

[Nahm]

@Dantas That so great to hear man. Thanks!

[Nahm]

@Dantas Beautiful.    The practices are sound! ❤️??