How to deal with people in group projects ?

[ValiantSalvatore]

Hello,

I am currently working with two people from my university for a group project. Which involves creating and editing a video project to a certain topic, which in this case colors. 

I rarely have problems working in groups and getting a long with people especially almost never, also I never thought about that group dynamics exist. Which one of our professor who likes to talk more about things that seem quite abstract to everyday life, yet are quite important rather than talking about the topic of the lesson lol. Explained, for instance, that you are only a group when you are more than 2 people otherwise it is a "dyad" and first, when you are three people, the group is considered a group. So, there are different roles, the only ones I remember and try to keep in mind while interacting beside being mindful and non-judging -> listening and observing without interpreting and seeking first to understand than to be understood. Let's say there is the leader, follower and the deputy head / second representative ( basically second leader) and the second leader has the task to play the devil's advocate. To challenge group consensus and to bring forth arguments that counteract/refute the ideas of other with reasonable/sensible arguments. That's what I remember from the professor he just mentioned it on the side. 

I never really had trouble in group projects or doing activities in a group, since I am always looking how to contribute and I played a lot of team sports when younger, so you are used when someone is not as good or just does mistakes and learns or is simply better or has higher expectations of his teammates and you have to tell him, to calm down and not to take things as seriously ( for instance in practice) . The same counts for video games when you play a video game which involves an assessable and manageable amount of people, you can see how easily people get "tilted" or start denying frustration or just do not care anymore and start "trolling" and giving up or are overcompetitive and start flaming and calling names, putting fault upon other peoples mistakes for losing a game, instead of oneself. 

I read the book "How to make friends and influence people" and try to abide by the principles listed there, for instance when you criticize someone else first name a mistake of your own or first call out something positive that you like about a specific thing let's say the color of a picture and then what you do not like about it, for instance, the way the picture was drawn or smth. like that. When I try to bring forth an argument or an idea which I think is good and I receive critique, I see how it fits into the bigger picture and if the critique does not add something valuable to the idea then it is perfectly fine to not implement it, yet to integrate both idea and critique would be ideal as long as it works out and adds value to the project  (In the book it is explained how to do that, fundamentally you say yes and incorporate the critique into the idea). 

So, if been working now with people from different cultures in different cultures, which is maybe not as common, yet more common compared with earlier times. And yes people where frustrated with me at one point, since they compared me to people who where working there for some time and they had time to get used to the work and I felt bad when I did a mistake I ( quite naive lol ) reported it to the supervisor and asked for feedback if it was possible in that case. In case there is feedback to report back to me, people appreciated the effort, if not it was just annoying and you should just not do it again. There is also not much more a person can say in that situation or not ? Besides that, I never had trouble with people sometimes people set themselves up for instance when I worked in China my supervisor (a very nice girl/women / enter political correct stuff) was supposed to do something, which if I remember correctly I should do, yet could not do because I was the only one who had not such a harsh accent when talking eng and so I received a new task and had to call customers in the U.S, besides some stuff that I needed to do on a daily basis. Well, she wanted to blame me ( at least that's how it sounded  since I did not speak Chinese only rudimentary and they tend to avoid confrontations since, the culture likes to be not as direct as Europeans or westerners, which is shocking for them sometimes, how direct we can be and how indirect and passive-aggressive people from the east can behave (notice can) ) and the boss was quite upset with her she cried at the end, yet came back with a smile a very genuine smile which was surprising to me. Admitting through her facial gesture that she made the mistake. IDK Why I am telling this now, lol, or remember this, yet it illustrates the point of how difficult communication etc. or working as a group can be. People have been quite passive-aggressive with me not calling me out on mistakes or just ignoring when there is something wrong and I do not even realize it, I just tend to live in my head a lot and I finish work quite quickly, so they want to put more work upon me. So, what do you do? You slow down to not work as crazy ( the office in China was just ridiculous they voluntarily stayed longer 1 - 2 h a couple of times a week and one guy had a 2-3h subway/bus ride homework started from 09:00 to 18:30 with 1h and 30min break)  as some of them did, it was just to exhausting and people will pill up work upon you. The French intern did the same, so I did not feel that bad and we chatted a lot which a lot of people in the office did. (Average life in an office I guess)

 

 

So, now in this group in the university people started to ignore ideas or suggestions from me (we are in total 3) and I did not leave a good impression since I felt quite down because of family-related manners and they kinda accepted it, since I explained to them what happened in my family what I did not intend to do as long as things where working out. Since I was postponing a deadline, overestimating how much effort it will take, since I was doing the raw fundament of the editing/script and when something is already done, the creative process is facilitated and you can just work with a good to decent template and make it better, yet creating the template etc. in the first place is also quite difficult. Why I am saying it like this is because I did an internship in a postproduction company and the "head of sound" had all the creative freedom and the other sound engineers had to the technical work mostly. So, people do not really value "the work in the background" and only highlight and praise the "creative part" which is mostly a bit easier and not as tedious.

(They also organized the people we need to record the project with, yet I was not able to have an impact there since, nobody talked to me what they were going to do, and they live together so they can talk and organize things quite effectively, even when I live 2 min away.)

Now it is similar and I am in quite a new situation since I was always the youngest, so I always did the work and followed and look to contribute and now I am the oldest in the group and just by observing the "group dynamic" it is difficult to tell who leads, and I am not used to it , yet I felt at one moment I was the leader because, they where scared of making decisions, I am working together with two girls, which is quite pleasent, yet at the same time difficult. They are quite young and you can just tell by communicating, they do not want to take blame and want to be right and project that onto me ( did a lot of shadow work on that and I just argue about the basic truth I perceive, so people interpret that as maybe arrogant or self-opinionated and maybe bossy), so when I make a suggestion which I always start as a "can you/we do this task etc or who wants to do this and this" (open questions and suggestions no commandos), they say "Yes, but" that is basically like a fuck you, since you do not consider the other's viewpoint, which I try to include of course not always 100% successfully. Also, they get worked up really fast and I have no clue what to do about that, if the situation is right I try to de-escalate it with humor. Yet, this group or one person in the group feels very toxic, and I had to contemplate if I am not the toxic one, now I am just confused. Since they both seem not to react to any suggestions and they do not really incorporate me and do not notice that the group dynamic has shifted from me being "the supervisor" to me being just another follower now and it feels like the other girls just does not want to do the work / wanting to be the supervisor, even though she could because she is quite competent, because she feels stupid that she does all the work. Yet, everyone feels the same in the group and nobody wanted to meet up before when I suggested it or someone else. To talk about the project which helps a lot to clarify ideas etc, we did it at the beginning now, everyone takes his time as "sooo important" even though they should have enough time I am also able to to take out time out of my schedule to meet up. Yet, at the end, it is regarded to meet up as somehow unnecessary since we can chat and type. 

Sure this is an experience and teaches me a lot, especially since I've been reading about the difference between man and women (biologically, culturally and also the conditioning culture has done to women, how these differences occurred and how the two different sexes operate and how they develop differently morally, so both have a different focus on emphasises in group work and in general relationships and values) Where can I find some good ressources online explaining stuff like this ?( watched Leo's video how to deal with toxic people and I also have the booklist, so I bought a book from there and read a bit not to much till now..) 

I only worked with 2 level-headed people and it was, so nice everyone had the freedom to pursue what someone wants in their free time, yet at the same time everyone was reliable and when a mistake was done, it was just corrected in the group and when someone was missing that was also okay, but I won't go into detail because we where 4 people during that semester and the dynamic was different and is different with 4 ppl especially meeting up. And me and the other level headed person did most of the correction. 

What are some good ways to learn how to deal with group projects?
Which criteria are important for dealing with people in a group or to keep up a good atmosphere? How can I deal with people who are younger than me and tend to be quite emotional or disagreeing and argumentative? I surely stand my ground, yet at one point it is difficult to make people realize that they are stuck in their way of thinking and you have to make sure you are also not stuck. So, what are some good ways to gain perspective and to make sure you are not stuck in your way of thinking? 

 

Edited December 29, 2017 by ValiantSalvatore

[Soulbass]

- daily meetings, 20 minutes, to talk about the goals & deadlines (short term & long term). everyone exactly know what she/he have to do, at the end of the meeting. the leader takes notes, and do a typed record (this is considering working full-time on the project, you may have sparse meetings if you are not working full time on it).

- each person in the group is responsible for one (or more) aspect (s) of the project. the group may talk about stuff together, but the final decision is always took by the person in charge of this particuliar aspect. individual strenghts (and past experiences) defines who's responsible for what. spread tasks equally across the group (the leader have to delegate).

- do a "critical path line" and x3 the time you think it will take. do a planning, with the different steps the project have to go through, and breakdown to each person in the group. do an excel document with a column for each person. uses colors in excel : red for "to do", orange for "work in progress", green for "done".

- have a folder with a lot of references files, and discuss about it during reunions.

- do tests, pre-renders, and keep an history of different versions (you can steal a music or footages from youtube/movies, just to illustrate the content of the film, and help the audience to understand/feel what the film is about. you'll replace later with the final music and your own material).

- if the music play an important role in the editing, work on music first -> it gives the timing.

- it's ok to have a residual side-band (see origami) everyone in the group cannot be at it's full potencial, 100% in.

- giving encouragement always works better in the long-run.

- a lot of stuff are fixed all along the process, things you haven't expected (see meetings).

Edited December 30, 2017 by Soulbass

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Soulbass Thx for the reply, I will keep that in mind. The idea with an excel file and delegating tasks is important. I can't tell how it is in the "real world", yet, it is difficult to meet up with students besides in the acutal class, since everyone has different priorities on what to do with their free time. Sparse meetings are a good thing, it was difficult though for this project. I think I learned a lot in the end, especially the pratical implications, yet what is more difficult imo is dealing with people with different aspects or just different personality traits and levels of "development" refering to either spiral dynamics or the integral map, in case you are familiar and could elaborate on the difference that can occur that would be awesome!.

I still do not understand these maps 100%, yet they help to navigate and understand problems between individuals and groups (also in groups), value conflicts for instance or just differences in perspective. Our professor even talked about the critical path line .. in  marketing management, I messed up as a "leader" in this group project now matriarchy went loose lol. That was definitely an eye opener and I want to learn and read more about these subjects. I will definitely try out the cpm/cpl and see , delegate tasks and setting deadlines was important we did not that and went way to "laissez faire" into the project.