Feeling like I’ve made progress, but seems like a step backwards.

[spicy_pickles]

I was able to set some boundaries and express myself to my partner the other night. I was able to speak with confidence. I was able to set ultimatums. 

I have NEVER been able to do this before. 

However, I feel like it’s a huge step backwards, because it’s almost too little too late.  The damage has been done. I’ve checked out. 

My therapist said, sometimes you need to practice certain things when you are in a situation that isn’t ideal. 

I feel as though I’m being a dishonest fool, but on the other hand, I can say that I’ve exhausted every chance to make this relationship work. The other night was my last effort.

Deep down, I know this is the best path for me, because I’m not only working on self-improvement, but I’m learning how I should be reacting to things in relationships. I should have the confidence and courage to expect more out of a partner. 

[Shin]

From what you wrote, i can't seem to find where you backslide.

[Pallero]

It sounds like real progress to me. Sometimes progress seems like going backwards, it's totally normal.

[spicy_pickles]

Thank you. After I thought about it, I am focusing my attention on the progress I made. 

I think the biggest accomplishment out of all this is being able to be mindful, be aware and recognize. After that small stumble, I’m back to visualizing and living my ideal life right now