Actualizing Vs. Depression

[expeditus]

Hi good day to you i am a new member of actualized.org 

But for someone like me i wamt to do things on my own. But i do need help I have a boyfriend and my boyfriend helps me a lot with my depression. No its not clinical. I do get sad sometimes i can still remember the person who i had loved so much back then and now that i have the person who loves me still its hard for me to get over what had happened and since that started i felt this depression...

Im sad cause i dont want to hurt anyone and my bf gets hurt when he hears the reason why i am depressed he feels like he is a rebound but no..i always tell him that i love him and i know in my heart that i do...But i am thinking..

Should i let him go? We have a lot of fights I had a lot of PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME and i feel like i am always chasing and it is tiring but i know that it is my fault and i feel guilty about it but i love him and i cant let him go...

Another is that...i became SO sensitive like i get hurt so easily...with just a single blow...i feel like im so weak and vulnerable...that i just want to isolate myself and detach myself and actaulize and comeback after im ok...

But i know that wont happen with my schedule as a student

Can anyone help me pls..i know that its our head the..mindsets that we have that makes us feel these emotions...but my problem is...my mind works everyday and i cant stop my emotions and i cant stop my thinking process...and i dont want to find anyone or anything to make me happy i want to find it within me...i know..its in me...i want to be free and be happy and i know im 100 percent responsible for my actions...i know i can do this

Any advice you can give? Thank you...its the new year...and im now ready to make some changes...and i really want these changes to take effect...

 

Thank You so much to all of those who are willing to help

[Leo-Tzu]

First of all dont mix your personal relationships with your growth. You're complete by yourself. As i see it you need to take some actions. Watch all the videos of leo in the "mastering emotions" playlist and you could start meditating in a daily basis.

[expeditus]

I know that Im doing these things the problem is I cant really control it...I am afraid that i will lose my mind or breakdown im afraid to lose my bf but im willing  if it will be a hindrance to my actualizing phase..but i also dont want to break up and make it a bad decision

Edited December 30, 2017 by expeditus

[Shin]