Gosh, I wish I could stop!

[Uncover]

I don't know when it began, but I know that it won't stop. I gave up almost all my hopes. It's like this.. I am 22 in all my life I had 3 girls I really adored and worshipped but never been with. Is this a curse?  Karma? I'm not quite sure.. I always wanted so bad the girl I love to love me back. It's like, I never wanted much of life even though I got mouch more than I expected except.. well, love. 

The reason why I say I wish I could stop is this.. I started to masturbate at a very early age. I don't remember when. This is wy I say it could be karma. I expect fine girls to be with me when I do this shameful thing. I think that this is the reason I have such low self esteem and confidence, I'm quite shy. Not to mention, that I never had sex. Just masturbating (yea, virgin). I don't kow why. Bad luck? I'm waiting for the right one? I feel like my time has gone. 

I've tried, but I can't stop, and this snowball effect is making the little ball of snow bigger until it's big enough to destroy my life. I'm talking about other negative habits that occur from this, like: watching porn, playing video games (a lot), getting lazy (very), neglecting school duties (first master's degree year). It's like, everything I do after work is staying in front of the computer an wasting time on s*it. If I could be productive on my laptop at least.. I got a bad attitude towards almost everything, I never go after something I want.. I am either afraid, or careless. 

So, how can I get out of this "prison"? How can I regain control on my life? And I don't quite agree with the idea of meditating. I was born and raised in Orthodox Cristianity. Maybe because of this I didn't have a girl? I was afraid of the sin? I know that it's not good what I'm doing. I need advice, I need guidance. I don't wanna go rolling down the hill with that ball of snow. @Leo Gura Advice please! You read a lot, maybe you can guide me, help me regain control, help with my perspective, attitude. Please @Leo Gura

Thank you!

[-Rowan]

Sounds like you would benefit from the NoFap movement/practice.

Also, how many personal development practices do you have in your life? What things do you do every day? I think daily meditation affirmations and visualizations for personal power would help you a lot. You may also just be going through a rough patch. 

[DoubleYou]

If you want to get out of this prison you've created, first define what this prison is exactly. What created it, and what keeps it alive right now? I don't know you, but looking at your post I can already see that you're filled with an endless supply of ideas and beliefs. That's your prison. You masturbating at an early age has nothing to do with you not getting a girl right now. That's just you believing in a particular form of karma. Question these beliefs. Where does it come from? 

Like, what part of meditation don't you agree with? It's just sitting in silence. That's all. Nothing to even consider agreeing or disagreeing with.  See, another idea is keeping you from experiencing new things. Things that might help you out a lot.

You're 22. Become your own man. Being born and raised in Orthodox Christianity has nothing to do with who you are right now. But it has left you with this web of beliefs that has slowly formed your "prison". The first step is to become aware of it. You're in the right place though. Keep it up, and don't be too hard on yourself.

[Cjaryo]

I'm in a similar place right now, mostly in respects to NoFap. I think that what we need to do is get more serious about our lives, and work on improving it, maybe just in a general sense. For you and I, pornography may be too big of a challenge to handle, for now, or we haven't prepared enough to end the bad habit/addiction. Thus, we must educate ourselves with books and work on what we can, such as meditation, journaling, visualization, fulfillment, and so on, that will indirectly make us able to lose this habit, by making us a better person.

[Viking]

You have to raise your consciousness. watch leo's vids, read books.

what would happen if you say got a girlfriend now? maybe at the start it would be nice, but judging from how bad you want it, long term it's not gonna be pretty. READ BOOKS AND EDUCATE YOURSELF. this is crucial, you dont realize how ignorant you are, knowledge is crucial to play the game called "life" in our age. 

There was a time when I too was craving a girlfriend and then I read a book (called the way of the superior man) which said that girls get attracted to guys with a purpose, that what's most important to them was their life calling, and from there I realized there's no gold in that mine called "seeking a relationship". Just focus on developing yourself and find solace in being alone, you wont have a fulfilling life depending on other people.

I recommend doing nofap.

you're going to have to face your demons one day, we all have to.

watch that vid, nothing that will send you to hell there, just pure logic, try to be openminded.

remember if you ever get stuck in life read a book that is relevant to your situation. best thing ever. I recommend buying leo's book list. There are books that you find usually, because they're not popular, because they were not marketed greatly, but the things that are said in them are extremely profound.

[wavydude]

Yes, it can stop.

Stop masturbsting especially to porn.

Start working out.

Get laid.

It's gonna be very hard and very rewarding.

[Nahm]

@wavydude ?

[Leo Gura]

@Uncover Look into Pickup. Take a bootcamp. It will shatter your reality as far as what's possible with girls.

Just don't become a dogmatic and narcisistic PUA-bro.

[art]

@Uncover tom toreo

[Soulbass]

1 hour ago, Ilya said:

I read a book (called the way of the superior man)

+1

Also "Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way" by Barry Long.