Chimpery

[Sahil Pandit]

Hello, 

I have this problem of trying to be open with everyone, even strangers. However, when I am open with a stranger and they are so closed off, it hurts.

How do we accept people as they are, and love them anyways?

When I am open, I try to love everyone, but Leo said in a video that this is Chimpery? He said that looking for love everywhere is a distraction. What does he mean  by that?

How do I put boundaries on my love?

Please help. 

[Echoes]

@Sahil Pandit trying to love everyone might be chimpery because it's not natural if you don't really feel it. It becomes neurotic if you force it. If you clearly see that everybody you see is going to die and struggles with the same problems of being a human in this weird, sometimes terrifying existence, love comes naturally. Because you don't want to possess and grasp the "other" anymore (which leads to fear and frustration, because it's an attempt to control them, and you can't control them), you see they are made out of the possibility to go away forever at any second.

[Leo Gura]

@Sahil Pandit Your problem is that you're only giving out love to get love, like a tit-for-tat. That's not real love. Real love is given without expecting anything in return.

The problem isn't that you love too much, it's that you don't love enough, and you put selfish expectations on it.

Love isn't about getting, it's about giving.

Real unconditional love isn't chimpery. Chimpery is conditional love, and trying to get other people to love you because you don't really love yourself.

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Sahil Pandit Your problem is that you're only giving out love to get love, like a tit-for-tat. That's not real love. Real love is given without expecting anything in return.

The problem isn't that you love too much, it's that you don't love enough, and you put selfish expectations on it.

Love isn't about getting, it's about giving.

Real unconditional love isn't chimpery. Chimpery is conditional love, and trying to get other people to love you because you don't really love yourself.

Yeah that’s why I am considering being a complete jackass again like I was when I was young child. I used to enjoy annoying the shit out of people for my own self-amusement because I always knew that would work for me when I had trouble making friends or getting along with others.

[Sahil Pandit]

@Echoes You are dang right about the neurotic part! I am glad I got past that stage on my own..

Now time to implement what you and Leo just said about Love as giving without anything in return. 

[Hardkill]

3 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Echoes You are dang right about the neurotic part! I am glad I got past that stage on my own..

Now time to implement what you and Leo just said about Love as giving without anything in return. 

I think being a complete jackass is much more fun.

[Sahil Pandit]

@Hardkill I need to learn how to do that 

[RichardY]