Should I worry for the problem that I have with my belifes that affects my sexual life

[Marks199]

Hi as someones of you know that I am 22 and I was just once with a prostitute because I was drunk and had some problems. And sometimes I wonder if it`s possible to have any experience with anyone having also this anxiety problem with which I live I know I have to stay strong in my life but I spent so much time curring myself from the problems of the past but I am worried that I am not experiencing a lot of relationships and Leo told we should be in a relationship well that it would be good. There are various sexual problems and problems with beliefs. For example, since he said that because I live with my mother I can't have a girl because of my comfort zone. Also since I live isolated when I go out I feel strange I feel people maybe hate me but its different in fact they always become happy when they see me. And sometimes I think its the anxiety that brings visions of me being afraid that someone could touch me because I am always afraid that maybe I could leave a bad experience to the person with which I would lay down and also that someone could humiliate me because of the things  that I`ve passed when I was younger. I would really like to feel what is love and what is to love someone and to be loved but maybe I will never have one should I then start to stop believing in love. And when someone asks me if I had a girl I am afraid of saying no that`s why I am so scared of people as well. You wouldn`t believe it I am really as far as I can see girl stare at me as I am the most beautiful guy they have ever seen really but I am so afraid don`t know so many demons problems and now sex really should I stop searching love??? I even speak 5 languages(Portuguese, Spanish, Croatian, German, English and a bit of Russian) I love to study and work on myself but just don`t know really don`t know should I stop having any hope??? I wash my mouth perfectly but then I ask myself is this worth just really don´t know. As far as you can see I think a lot but don´t know what to really choose. 

[Spiral]

@Marks199 Please make paragraphs when you write. 

If possible move out. Not for the sake of girls but for yourself. If that is something you are struggling with because of you anxiety. Know that you don't need to meet lots of new people just because you move out. 

Regarding sexual problems I also had that not too long ago, one of them was really really stupid of me so i'll tell you.

In Sweden we have only one brand of condoms in the stores as far as I've seen, these condoms are for some reason smaller than regular condoms. WHY? So I bought these because I had a girlfriend whom I was sleeping with, problem was these condoms were too small(not saying i'm huge or anything either) so they caused erectile dysfunction. I took me one year to realize why this, one year of bad sex because of some lame condoms. One fucking year! She felt bad about herself because I was unable to get hard properly. 

Most sexual problems is caused because you are doing something wrong, trying to do tantra when you too weak causes premature ejection for instance. It's most of the time problems are fixable with some practice and studies on the topic. As for worried you'll perform poorly, most guys are really bad. Lot's of girl I've spoken to have been really bored with the guys they have had short term relationships with. So you are not alone they just don't know how bad they are. As with everything else practice makes perfect.

[YaNanNallari]

If you have beliefs that affect your life "negatively" your life is going to be affected "negatively". Now what you do is work on yourself with meditation and other self-help techniques and theory. Don't worry so much about getting quick results regarding sexuality right now. Try to see a bigger picture, a relationship isn't absolutely necessary at all and in fact it can be very hard to find a relationship while self-actualizing a lot of the time.

[Kimasxi]

1. Start telling people the truth you are afraid of voicing. You will see people accept it. It will make you care a bit less about that aspect of you that ruins your self-esteem.

2. Yes, you should stop searching for the love you perceive as love right now. You cannot make a big deal out of it, cause it stresses you out and sabotages you. And love as an external factor will not make you feel truly good enough. 

Edited December 27, 2017 by Kimasxi

[Marks199]

Hi! What does it mean afraid of voicing?