NoFap - Why you should quit porn & masturbation !

[Psyche_92]

Anyone else feel like the better you start to feel on your streak, also the harder it becomes?

[Psyche_92]

Failed again... Rip.

Too much free time and too much sexual energy got the best of me. Nothing did satisfy me anymore and i got bored, so i ended up fapping 3 fucking times...

Starting to think this is impossible for me after 5 years of trying. Good thing i didn't watch porn this time, but still.

Feeling lazy af right now... yay

[Psyche_92]

Just now, Chi_ said:

Yes very true with me as well

If anything, NoFap is a good spiritual tool. In the sense that it can keep kicking your ego in the face whenever you relapse, and make you wake up to the truth that you have no control whatsoever.

[Psyche_92]

1 minute ago, Chi_ said:

emotional trauma from childhood

Yes. I started using porn and masturbation at 13-14ish to escape reality after getting bullied everyday at school. It's deeply ingrained in my brain.

I'm trying to meet the energy to release it, but you obviously can't force that stuff too much. That's not how it works, so i guess i just have to ride it out.

[Psyche_92]

2 minutes ago, Chi_ said:

A good way to go would be Psychoanalysis. 

Already did that for over a year. Psychoanalysis is only good for your mind to fall asleep. It doesn't resolve deep issues.

3 minutes ago, Chi_ said:

But also for the meantime you can try Shamanic Breathing, Osho Dynamic Meditation or Shoonya Meditation (by Sadhguru) to work with these emotional blockages.

I'm doing normal meditation. It's not too bad. Not gonna botter with another technique for now.

3 minutes ago, Chi_ said:

Trying to fix Nofap instead is kind of going in the wrong direction

Yes and no. I use fapping and porn to run away from certain emotions, so doing NoFap helps me to face them and not run away from them.

 

[Aeris]

what if I fap because there is no where to run or hide from yourself ?

 

[apparentlynoself]

@Psyche_92 now, i'm not really that good at giving advice in regards to nofap. But i recently realised something important. I am only on day 4 of nofap but i feel like i will finally defeat my addiction. The way i did it is by using consciousness. I just looked at myself on the mirror for about 10 minutes. I looked at my acne, which was caused by fapping. I also thought about all health problems, which were also caused by fapping. I didnt play victim, but looked at it in a detatched way. And i feel like it clicked. 

If you want a video that explains this is better detail, i recommend watching leo's video: awareness alone is curative.

[hamedsf]

23 hours ago, Aeris said:

what if I fap because there is no where to run or hide from yourself ?

 

so nihilistic! 

[Psyche_92]

 

[bejapuskas]

On 26. 6. 2019 at 8:50 PM, apparentlynoself said:

@Psyche_92 now, i'm not really that good at giving advice in regards to nofap. But i recently realised something important. I am only on day 4 of nofap but i feel like i will finally defeat my addiction. The way i did it is by using consciousness. I just looked at myself on the mirror for about 10 minutes. I looked at my acne, which was caused by fapping. I also thought about all health problems, which were also caused by fapping. I didnt play victim, but looked at it in a detatched way. And i feel like it clicked. 

If you want a video that explains this is better detail, i recommend watching leo's video: awareness alone is curative.

That's an amazing realization, but be careful with pride. At least in my experience, I have these clicks, that then kind of stop working and I fall back into the downwards spiral, especially when I get overconfident. But it's awesome that you're on-track  

[hamedsf]

14 hours ago, Psyche_92 said:

I watched the whole video, you could even watch The Pink Panther for so long and get damaged from that. come on! the porn in and of itself has nothing to do with corneal ulceration. the examples that he's presenting are totally off-base. I don't mean that there are no downsides with porn addiction, what I truly mean is that porn addiction could be presented in a more neat way and one should avoid beating around the bush by exhibiting the accurate examples and documentations. 

[Psyche_92]

Uff.. I've been watching porn again for 3 days in a row. Don't feel too much negative effects from it though. Been very social this weekend and went out a lot. Maybe it is in fact all in my head, or maybe my ego got very smart and was using relapsing to porn as an excuse all this time to not take any action and be lazy. Either way, i'm gonna keep taking radical action no matter what. I feel porn will fall of my shoulders sooner or later out it's own without having to push it out of my life. It's gonna happen. I won't have any time to touch my ding dong soon anyways .

Edited June 29, 2019 by Psyche_92

[studentofthegame]

Try shifting your focus away from the negative of the porn and masturbation habit and the ‘should’ and ‘should nots’ and instead focus on other areas of your personal development.

start getting busy in all areas of your life. You’ll meet a girl, you’ll want to have sex and you’ll find that the demands of the relationship give you a powerful incentive to give up the porn and the fap.

why? Because, as i have found over the last month, if my brain is still wired to porn and fap, then sex with my girl is compromised. It takes me a long time to finish, and she is aware of it. I went two weeks without any fap (the longest i have been without it for 20 years) and i could feel my brain re-wiring to sex with her. It was great. Then i relapsed for a few days and i’m back to square one. Lesson learned.

Point is, focus on other areas, get a girl, and this will place a demand on you to cut out porn and fap and you’ll meet the demand.

[hamedsf]

6 hours ago, laptophaver said:

crying myself to sleep knowing sexual frustration is seen as an addiction. RIP happiness and stuff

you know, fun, giggity giggity can be recreational i thought?

recreational, responsible, moderation, and everything nice. 

cryptic writing

 

[Shin]

Just putting this here too
Might motivate some of you

 

Quote

I stopped watching porn 2 years ago.
When I was still watching porn and had sex with the girlfriend back then, it was horrible.

• First reason is I had unrealistic expectations of how I should perform and what girls truly enjoy.
  I thought sex was about techniques and physical performance, how long you last and how dominative you have to be by doing weird positions right of the bat.
• Second is I was addicted to the dopamine rush of ejaculation, so I was more into my pleasure than hers, it was more about building an orgasm, about physical pleasure than genuine and deep intimate connection.
• Third reason is tied to both of those point, it's the lack of presence and being conscious about yourself, your cravings, and the other person needs, all of that completely fucked up in my mind by what porn subconsciously communicate "women wants to be directly fucked, they are objects and likes to be used as sex dolls with no care needed towards them".
  So you have a cognitive dissonance in your mind telling you you should do all those things, but you can't because fundamentally you find it disgusting, because deep down you know it's not true (or you do and don't find it fulfilling and chase more vaginas).

 

Nowadays with the current girlfriend.
(I'm don't have more sexual experience than 3 years ago).

• I completely dropped the notion of performance and about mastering "techniques".
  Not saying I don't try to become better at this, but since it has such low value in term of making sex qualitative, there is just no point to waste your time with this.
  What I do is totally focusing on how the girl feels, which starts by doing amazing foreplay, to the point where she literally begs for me to penetrate her (I don't until she does).
  Then I just let my intuition guides me on how to please her, sometimes I stop and continue to do some foreplay in order to synchronize our orgasms, and the "techniques/positions" comes by themselves intuitively.
• I'm no longer addicted to the dopamine rush, so I don't really care about ejaculating or not, which turns my focus totally on the girl.
  The only thing I care about now is how to please the girl, how to deepen the connection between us, how to use sex to build up our intimacy,
  And believe me she feels the difference.
  You could do everything perfectly, if the girl feels you're doing it because you have to/because you want to "perform" good, instead of genuinely wanting her to have a great time more than you, then it doesn't matter, she will know and won't feel nearly as safe and open than if you did.
• Being able to be totally present, not needing the orgasm/sex/her, basically being able to chose if you want all of those, instead of being used by them (and you do) makes all the difference in the world.
  Not only it feels amazing (and not just for sex), but you can decide everything, without having to fight against your impulses at all, and that's the desire of any women ultimately, to feel she really can't control you at all, that nothing can actually.
  Obviously just Nofap won't do that, deep spiritual/personal developement work has to be done, but anyone can do it.

If there is all that, you can't have bad sex or even average sex (and that's required for healthy long term relationship),
Now of course you can improve on lots of things (play words/duration/injaculation/new techniques etc),
But the core of it is already there, and that's what really matters.
 

There is hundreds of sources far more effective on how to have amazing sex.
Watching porn to improve at sex is like watching a sitcom and expect to be better at creating friendship.
In real life you have to put real effort to get results, it's not gonna happen by being passive.

 

[Shin]

 

• Don't fap at all, even without pornography.
• Don't bing cute/sexy girl on facebook/instragram/google or whatever else.
• Meditate everyday for 20 minutes.
• When you feel the urge to do it, do push ups instead (until your arms can't move), directly. Then go do something else for at least 20 minutes, don't stay on your bed.
• Don't go to bed if you want to pee.

 

You have to do that and abstain from it until the needs to fap and watch porn wears off.
Depending on your addiction it can take a while, months or even years if you were heavy into porn.

You will do it if you don't give up and always try again directly and not weeks after you relapse

Edited July 8, 2019 by Shin

[bejapuskas]

13 hours ago, Shin said:

• When you feel the urge to do it, do push ups instead (until your arms can't move), directly. Then go do something else for at least 20 minutes, don't stay on your bed.

Wow this sounds like a good exercise, thanks for sharing your inner genius Shin  

13 hours ago, Shin said:

• Don't go to bed if you want to pee.

My 2 cents: don't go to the toilet when you are dreaming in bed. Just came to my mind randomly.

[Psyche_92]

Guys, i'm really starting to think total abstaining from masturbation is impossible. The idea of not watching porn forever sounds do-able. Not masturbating forever? Not so sure. Maybe when i have a girlfriend in the future this will work.

I feel like i'm making my life a fuckton harder than it should be by focusing so much on Nofap, failing again and again, losing my "benefits" again and again.

I'm basing my actions and motivation in life on NoFap atm. If i'm on a good streak i feel good about myself and than i do whatever i need to improve my life and sort myself out. If i relapse however, i feel like shit for at least 2 weeks and do at lot less of stuff, and feel very lethargic. Maybe i brainwashed myself by relying too much on NoFap benefits...

 

[Shin]

2 hours ago, Psyche_92 said:

Guys, i'm really starting to think total abstaining from masturbation is impossible. The idea of not watching porn forever sounds do-able. Not masturbating forever? Not so sure. Maybe when i have a girlfriend in the future this will work.

I feel like i'm making my life a fuckton harder than it should be by focusing so much on Nofap, failing again and again, losing my "benefits" again and again.

I'm basing my actions and motivation in life on NoFap atm. If i'm on a good streak i feel good about myself and than i do whatever i need to improve my life and sort myself out. If i relapse however, i feel like shit for at least 2 weeks and do at lot less of stuff, and feel very lethargic. Maybe i brainwashed myself by relying too much on NoFap benefits...

 

 

Yeah you have associated your happiness to your streak, that's quite common.
Don't do that, just try your best in order to be free, but love yourself and accept that you will sometimes lose control.

It's ok, you can't be perfect, and you will never anyway, but getting out of the addiction to fap and watching porn, not even thinking about it anymore, is way too freeing to give up on it.

It really holds you back on a lot of ways that you can't see because you're still in it
You really can't have genuine relationships/friendship with women if you're not free of this, and you can't ignore 50% of the population.

You can do it

[Psyche_92]

5 minutes ago, Shin said:

getting out of the addiction to fap and watching porn, not even thinking about it anymore, is way too freeing to give up on it.

Well, i left it behind me for 120 days before and i could tell the difference in freedom for sure. The question however, is this sustainable long term? Can't keep counting days forever, and sooner or later masturbation will happen anyways, at least that's how i feel about it. In the end i will always go from being very rich to very poor in 5 seconds of pleasure.

7 minutes ago, Shin said:

You really can't have genuine relationships/friendship with women if you're not free of this, and you can't ignore 50% of the population.

Ya i know. I'm not even looking for those at the moment. Ofcourse they may come if they want, but i'm not pursuing it atm.