NoFap - Why you should quit porn & masturbation !

[Jayden Birch]

Thank you, that helped clarify a lot. It does seem silly to compare our lives to a monks when you think of it.

Happy new year!

[Shin]

Spine ejaculation, here I come 

 

[Arman]

 

[Psyche_92]

I relapsed yesterday, yet again. I can't believe i've gone 61 days in the past. Still haven't watched porn in 31 days though. 

[Truth Seekah]

 

[Forestluv]

PM hasn't been much of an issue in my life. I've probably averaged about 1-2 times a week. I've been dating a gal I really like for two months. We've had open conversations about our fears, insecurities, trust, jealousy etc. Last night she asked me if I watched porn. No gf has ever asked me before and I felt awkward. She has explored a lot sexually and was fine that I watched porn. She wanted me to describe the type of porn scenes I watch, which made me even more uncomfortable.

The conversation gave me a different perspective on porn. I want us to grow closer and move forward together. It seems porn interferes with that process. Even 1-2 times a week. I'm curious if/how things will change in the relationship without the porn.

[LaucherJunge]

@pluto
I may be still a virgin, but I wholeheartedly recommend the book "Cupids Poisoned Arrow" to you.
It is basically introducing sex without orgasm "karezza" which you are talking about here and it even scientifically, especially neurologically, explains all of the negative effects of orgasm and the positive effects of sex without it.
The problem is basically that the dopamine high from ejaculation is like a hard drug and you suffer a withdrawl of 2 weeks after it, which most people tend to medicate with even more orgasms, which only leads into a downward spiral. At the same time you become sexually satiated and drift away from your partner, crave for a new one, because your dopamine receptors now need more stimulation a novel partner or a new fetish would do the trick. This is why todays hypersexuality is really getting out of hand.
Now sex without orgasm doesen't have this crazy dopamine high, but it releases oxytocin which is the pretty the bonding neurotransmitter, it is also released by simple bonding behaviours like looking each other in the eye or simply touching. It is also responsible for motherly love after the birth. It makes you very peaceful, you feel very much in balance especially when you are not in a withdrawl.
Of course there is much more to it, this is just a simplified version.
About the blue balls, maybe it is because you are getting too close to climax? Maybe you are moving too fast? Karezza is suppossed to be done almost without movement.

[Random User]

@blazed Works for me  

@Shin Those social benefits though. Magical 

[LaucherJunge]

@blazed
I have yet to try it myself. But the book says that karezza is supposed to be even more fulfilling than regular sex with orgasms, because you connect on an energetic level and basically become one being, also the love that you will feel for your partner is incredible.
 

9 hours ago, blazed said:

By the way you will get blue balls every time you get a hard erection and don't get to ejeculate

That is false. I am doing nofap and had tons of really hard erections which I just withstood during that without getting any blueballs. It is common knowledge in the nofap community that you only get blueballs from edging. With karezza you are not supposed to get anywhere near the orgasm. 

The book explains perfectly why science overlooks the benefits of sex without orgasm, it is mainly because they take the positive effects of oxytocin which already occurs during sex without orgasm and perscribe those benefits to the orgasm itself, while it had nothing to do with it, in contrary. And yes obviously you release dopamine during sex without orgasm, you release dopamine during pretty much every single activity if you are not desensitized. What I am talking about is the cocaine like high from orgasm which causes withdrawls. Those withdrawls are very subtle by the way and manifest in many ways.

What is natural is not automatically good.
The sex drive was already there before our emotional part of the brain could develop to what it is today.

Edited January 3, 2018 by LaucherJunge

[LaucherJunge]

1 hour ago, blazed said:

And I'm not talking about hard ons for 5-10 seconds,  I'm talking about the hard ons where you get lost in sex thoughts for a minute or two.

I am talking about hard ons where you are horny for 30 minutes.
If what you are saying were true, then pretty much every single guy in existence would have continuous blue balls, even a male fetus gets erections.
Seems like you have a serious health condition with this, I would really think about seeing a specialist.

[bslpiontds]

No-Fap is actually working, i was sceptic at first. But after just 1-2 weeks result occurred. with the biggest bonus of much less self-judgement/shame and anxiety in public.

I've been trying No-Fap quite some months now, its really hard to stick with it. Sometimes i could stick for a month, and eventually fail. But just get back on track, don't judge yourself if failure occurs.

Edited January 3, 2018 by bslpiontds

[LaucherJunge]

@bslpiontds
Very true, even if you fail after just a week, you still already made a big step forward and don't lose all of your progress. Every time you decide against the urges you weaken the neural pathways for fapping.

[Shin]

It's absurd, I only slept for 2 hours, and I'm not even tired (after dinner).

 

Edited January 3, 2018 by Shin

[Shroomdoctor]

@Shin Can I also become a nofap-100-times-kajoken-super-saiyan-instinct? 

p.s. 107 Days going strong! Do I become supersaiyan on day 124?

[Psyche_92]

I became conscious of using NoFap as an ego defense mechanism. No more NoFap for me. At least until i find out and resolved the thing i am running away from :).

[Shroomdoctor]

@Psyche_92 Are you sure? How can not distracting yourself from your pain be a defense?

[Chives99]

porn in moderation never harmed anyone

[Shin]

11 hours ago, Chives99 said:

porn in moderation never harmed anyone

Cocaine in moderation never harmed anyone.

[Chives99]

3 minutes ago, Shin said:

Cocaine in moderation never harmed anyone.

not comparable, have you seen the long term effects of the drug on a person's mental state and body 

[Shroomdoctor]

@Chives99 yes i have Seen the effects porn had on me.