Negative effects from meditating

[mikeyy]

So in 2016 went few months meditating felt like it didn't work was crippled with self doubt so quit started again 3 month's ago been meditating every day and during my meditation I never feel much but lately it's like I'm more angry and depressed during my daily routine? Is this a good sign that it's workong? It's weird tho that I never suffer much during the actual session but o want to cuz intellectually I know I need to purge Shit out to feel better I'm noticing also that I'm going back down the same thought loop as lastyear like that meditation isn't working and that I'm wasting my time. But I've told myself fuck it ima meditate every day rest of my life either way. Is this my egos like last defense or something?

[aurum]

28 minutes ago, mikeyy said:

I never feel much but lately it's like I'm more angry and depressed during my daily routine? Is this a good sign that it's workong?

It could be. You could also just be angry and depressed. If it's excessive and consistently outside the norm, than it's probably from the meditation.

30 minutes ago, mikeyy said:

It's weird tho that I never suffer much during the actual session but o want to cuz intellectually I know I need to purge Shit out to feel better

Careful here. The goal is not to suffer. Don't make it something you feel must happen.

Rather, just prepare, allow and be open to the purging if it does happen.

32 minutes ago, mikeyy said:

I'm noticing also that I'm going back down the same thought loop as lastyear like that meditation isn't working and that I'm wasting my time

Yeah that's big lie. Don't fall for it.

[AleksM]

@mikeyy

During the time you haven't been meditating, you accumulated some energies in the muscle tissue and now it is being released. The old energy needs to leave first, before the new energy can enter the body. This is a sign you are doing great. When muscles relax, certain thoughts and emotions Will activate and you tend to identify with those thoughts.

The thoughts presented are there just for you to identify with them, so you can maintain a certain feeling state. Most of the time if you identify with the arising phenomena of the senses, it's destructive, counter productive, slows down the process and that's because most people have a lot of limiting beliefs, limiting roles and default positions, doubts, negative suppressed emotions...