How do I get over the fear that I am unlovable?

[BobbyLowell]

Thank you so much guys!!!❤️❤️

[sgn]

Of course. We love you

[Highest]

Only a few (family etc) will truly love you for who you are, so I wouldn't bother with it. Be yourself, if someone loves you or not is not your problem, it is their problem. True love is rare, especially loyalty. Be love because that is your true nature, give it to whomever wants it, and remove yourself from those who don't. My advice.

[Faceless]

 

But what is Love? 

I question even with family members if there is love. It would depend on there mental condition and whether there was a sense of freedom from thought. 

[sgn]

According to this guy:

[BobbyLowell]

@sgn for your first comment, really?

im actually asking, not saying this skeptically or sarcstically

for your second comment,

i kind of disagree. I definitely love and judge people at the same time. Like as Leo says the most judgements occur in family but that's where the most love is

 

this was not intended to sound mean in any way

[Leo Gura]

I would suggest that you don't actually love yourself. So here's the solition:

1) Do self-esteem exercises (Nathaniel Branden)

2) Practice more self-love through visualizations, affirmations, etc.

[AnTe]

love to me means simply acceptance, accepting everything as perfectly imperfect rather than judging all these imperfections.  feeling unlovable is natural and partially true, because nobody can love us more than they currently love themselves.  it's not very hard to notice that most people are already harshly judging and hating themselves, so lack the capacity to fully love/accept us.   reality is about mirror reflections of our subconscious from the feedback we get from others.  once we have accepted ourselves and have that love inside, then we can begin to share that with the world but also understand that we don't all share the same experiences and timing.  the lessons might be the same but not our exact experience and how/when we learn them.

[RichardY]

Deal with any neediness issues.

[BobbyLowell]

@Leo Guraare you talking about "yourself"? Your statements seem to me to be in contradiction because you say to practice self love but don't love yourself. Could you please explain your stance?

[Leo Gura]

@BobbyLowell Loving yourself is important. Don't confuse that with loving the ego. Ego doesn't really love itself, it hates itself.

[BobbyLowell]

@Leo Gura ok I get it thank you!

[Leightonm]

Hey Bobby, I will assume that you have gained a lot of love in your process. How are yoh suppose to test whether this love is authentic. You do it through tests. You test yourself. You test yourself with the people you love the most. When you can take that criticism with a smile, that is when you know that you have passed. You love yourself absolutely. I love you absolutely. Move on and take the next test.

[Jayden Birch]

Gratitude is also another great way to develop self-love. If you can't say authentically "I am grateful for my life" then start by saying "I wish I could be more grateful for my life". 

Gratitude is the soil from which the most beautiful flowers of love can grow. Each day for a month I would highly recommend setting the intention that, "I will find many things today to be grateful for today". Have fun with it, its worked wonders in my own self-love journey. Results will follow in a month of this practice or any other loving practice so stay strong on the path. Eventually you can find a way to be grateful for those who hurt you because you will understand that they are only saying to you what they can't deal with emotionally, which is so innocent when you think about it.

Our very nature is made out of love, so you are without any doubts able to be loved and love!  

Also I would defiantly watch this video -

You were saying that people in your life were giving you ques that you were unlovable. That was probably lifes way of trying to make you become more unconditionally loving as you will learn in the video.

Good luck my friend 

Edited December 24, 2017 by Jayden Birch

[d0ornokey]

37 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@BobbyLowell Loving yourself is important. Don't confuse that with loving the ego. Ego doesn't really love itself, it hates itself.

wait what. I thought the self was the ego 

Isn't your personality, ego, self all the same thing?

[Faceless]

It seems that love can only be when “I” am not  

Is thought love? 

[Faceless]

Is love an idea? 

[Leo Gura]

34 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:

wait what. I thought the self was the ego 

Isn't your personality, ego, self all the same thing?

We are using same words to talk about different things in different contexts.

[Nahm]

23 hours ago, Faceless said:

What is Love? 

One way to tell is what love is not? 

If we can’t narrow down what Love is how do we know if we love or if we are in the presence of love? 

Reminds me of that other thing that can never really be nailed down.

[Faceless]

22 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Reminds me of that other thing that can never really be nailed down.

?? 

Could this have somthing to do the center. Can the center “thought” Love? 

If so that would imply that love can be cultivated. 

I challenge this personally. What do u think friend?