Need to leave the nest and i'm unemployed

[Alexo45]

I had a sense that all of this was happening behind my back, but i never had something to prove it to myself, until yesterday my sis told me this.
My mom is basically waiting for me to leave the house, so she can live together with her boyfriend. The problem is that i'm unemployed, and i don't have good hopes for getting a job in the near future. I also am not 100% sure of my Life Purpose, so i don't really know what i want to do for a living. 

I was hoping that i could work out my Life Purpose while still living with my mom, and look for a job in the meantime. Also because my Life Purpose that i currently have ( becoming a psychotherapist ), i would have gone to university next year, but all of that is basically not possible anymore, because i have to move out and live on my own. At least that's how i feel right now. I don't really know what to do, and i feel kind of messed up at the moment. Just the idea of living here, when i know my mom actually wants me to leave is also something i hate. 

I'm very scared that i now get forced to quickly look for a shitty job, and even if i would find one, it's probably not going to get me enough money to rent a house for myself and everything, maybe a full-time night job, but then again no time to self actualize. I'm so fucking scared that i'm going to end up in a rut, working in a shitty job without any time to do self-devlopment or work my Life Purpose. 

I could go to the local center for social welfare in my city, but i don't really want to do that, because i'm ashamed and scared that this is going to follow me for the rest of my life if i do this. I also don't want to do this, because i would end up in a ghetto. I've been to the place where all those houses are that you get for free if you sign up for social welfare, and it's kind of crappy, full of people that have done crazy shit in their lives and have no ambition at all. I can't see myself landing in a house over there, when people would throw a stone through my window while i'm meditating or something like that. 

I'm at a loss, seriously don't know what to do.

 

 

[Alexo45]

Bump. No one has any advice? I know i shouldn't play the victim, but this is not easy.

[Shin]

5 hours ago, Alexo45 said:

I was hoping that i could work out my Life Purpose while still living with my mom, and look for a job in the meantime. Also because my Life Purpose that i currently have ( becoming a psychotherapist ), i would have gone to university next year, but all of that is basically not possible anymore, because i have to move out and live on my own. 

So what ? You can still go to college when the time comes.
You said now you're obligated to have a job, that means college doesn't cost anything where you live, so that's just an excuse.

I'm very scared that i now get forced to quickly look for a shitty job, and even if i would find one, it's probably not going to get me enough money to rent a house for myself and everything, maybe a full-time night job, but then again no time to self actualize. I'm so fucking scared that i'm going to end up in a rut, working in a shitty job without any time to do self-devlopment or work my Life Purpose. 

That's also an excuse, unless you work 16 hours a day, you always have time for self-actualization, always.

 

BTW, you're thinking all this because of what your sister said.

What if the one who doesn't want you around wasn't your mom but your sister ? 

[Alexo45]

7 minutes ago, Shin said:

So what ? You can still go to college when the time comes.
You said now you're obligated to have a job, that means college doesn't cost anything where you live, so that's just an excuse.

 

I'm already 25 and college costs about 10k a year. 

7 minutes ago, Shin said:

BTW, you're thinking all this because of what your sister said.

What if the one who doesn't want you around wasn't your mom but your sister ? 

My sister doesn't live with us anymore. My mom never wanted me to leave the house before, and she knew about my plans. Now she has a new boyfriend and this guy wants a new house because he doesn't like ours ( we currently are renting ), so i have to move. 

[Privet]

55 minutes ago, Alexo45 said:

Bump. No one has any advice? I know i shouldn't play the victim, but this is not easy.

It seems to me that you cling your mind around some fantastic image of your life that you created after consuming self-development stuff. Then you have encountered harsh reality: you gotta eat something and live somewhere and noone will provide that for you except you. And actually that's a good thing, because that's how life works and you have a great opportunity to finally truly engage in it, not just theorizing on a couch. 

Sorry about harshness of your situation, but I think you can find the best advice in this video.

Also, what comes to my mind is that you have to set your priorities and expectations right:

1) You will have little time to self development if you will work a usual job and rent an appartment. So you have to spend all your free time wisely (hint: you may channel all your efforts on either somehow freeing more time or building your financial independancy).

2) If you will have little time all that stuff will take longer! Big suprise! It will probably take years to only be able to have more free time.

And finally, do you think Leo became successful while he was sitting on his parents neck? He says he worked 4 years in business he didn't like before he launched this site, and he says it took him 10 years to figure out his life purpose. 

 

 

Edited December 20, 2017 by Privet

[Alexo45]

30 minutes ago, Privet said:

It seems to me that you cling your mind around some fantastic image of your life that you created after consuming self-development stuff. Then you have encountered harsh reality: you gotta eat something and live somewhere and noone will provide that for you except you. And actually that's a good thing, because that's how life works and you have a great opportunity to finally truly engage in it, not just theorizing on a couch. 

Somewhat true, especially in the beginning i've been mentally masturbating a ton without taking actual action. It was something that became more obvious to me over time. 

[Hafiz]

I was in a similar situation but I chose to leave my parents house because I knew I wouldn't get off my ass "find my life purpose" if I stayed at home and just binged watched youtube all day.

Luckily I still live in the same city as my family and they are a good support system. 

Have you considered moving to a bigger city? You might find a wider and more plentiful source of jobs there. And yes, it will suck, but what if you work 2 jobs for like a year, save up a bunch of cash and then really take some time to sit down and sort out your life purpose.

Also, meditate. You always have time to meditate.

[Seed]

Take it one day at a time. Life is much more manageable that way... as long as you are 100% dedicated and never quit. You will make this work... the process might take a bit longer, that’s all. And remember, life is a game. If it was easy, it would be bloody boring!!! :-) 

[Marks199]

Start to visualize that you are confident with whatever you get in life my brother could have killed me in Colombia and throw me out of his an apartment wich both are dangerous I have also passed that type of experience. Try also to visualize that you will be extremely successful I started to visualize that I am a better life coach that Leo Gura. And here is my last example of a resume that could help you for finding a maybe better job take a look at this link:  https://enhancv.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_Mqenr-d2AIVBcYYCh1FwQLXEAAYASAAEgLQ2PD_BwE