Newbie LSD Experience

[Stevo]

This is the first topic I have started. I am hoping for any insight from the more experienced.

 

I have had a handful of experiences with mushrooms. All pretty great for introspection and change.

 

My first LSD experience was 12-4-2016. It caused me to make massive changes in my life. I don't know if I would say those changes are producing results that are pleasurable or satisfying yet. My next LSD trip was on a date. I consider this one to be mostly a waste because it was filled with talk, walk, a concert, food and lots of other distractions. I had a couple other weak trips.

 

My most recent one was last Thursday while alone. I ingested one tab on an empty stomach. I worried that it would force me to deal with childhood trauma or current problems. Would I run down the street naked or cry all night?

 

One of the first insights was seeing a conglomeration of all my problems. I saw my body from 20 feet away. The problems were nearby. They floated up and were small enough to fit in my armpit. I retreated into a room and took the memories and problems out of what looked like a box of photos. I lovingly enjoyed them. Then I started talking kindly to myself in an audible voice. Does this experience insulate me from "bad trips" in the future or is this how it starts for everyone who eventually has a "bad trip?"

 

As in my earlier trips I had a strong desire to isolate myself from any senses. I covered up the LEDs in my room. I wore earplugs and filled some goggles with black fabric. I got in bed and was able to not smell or taste. The tactile isolation worked pretty well as my back started to ache a little after 4 hours of lying still in the same position. I wouldn't even consider a trip without sensory deprivation. I made a new kit of even more effective tools for sensory deprivation. I don't want any stimulating music or vibrant still or moving pictures. I don't get any visuals. Anyone else?

 

I had a vision of where the particular infinity I was part of originated. All infinities are enveloped or encapsulated by something I called "The Whole." I missed being there because I felt like so much more in The Whole. I had the vision that I am now only a part of one infinity. That infinity is so small. I immediately realized death is not an escape from infinity and a ticket back to the whole. If you die and are turned to slime or ash you still exist. You are just a more complex part of infinity because your parts are affecting and being affected by increasingly numerous parts of infinity. We survive death unchanged. As infinity advances, you travel away from The Whole. You become fractionated, diluted, iterated, distinct, individuated, specific, differentiated, and ordered as infinity goes on. Paradoxically, this makes you bigger and more vibrant.

 

Wherever you are at in infinity or The Whole, You don't exist, and yet, your influence is immeasurable. Infinity is the "place" where meaning is possible.  It is simply "expression."

 

Within The Whole, there is no feminine or masculine. When infinity is unleashed from the Whole, feminity is instantly present. She then creates the masculine. Together, Yin & Yang build and animate infinity until it is eventually consolidated into The Whole.

 

The concept of a universe is silly. I don't even like the word anymore because it is smaller than a single photon escaping from a laser scanner beam when you scan something and it flashes from under the product you were scanning. What I experienced reminded me of when Leo said it isn't Biology or Chemistry or Physics. It isn't quantum theory or strings. I guess that makes me an immaterialist.

 

The meaning of life is meaninglessness.

 

There is no reuniting with loved ones. I wasn't disturbed by this. Could be because I knew (without being cognizant of it) that I was already them and they are me.

 

Physically, I was uncoordinated and drunk-ish. I recorded myself for 8 hours, which I played back yesterday. I found I remembered most of my audio entries. I sounded dumb and dingy.  Days later, I feel a bit off, cognitively.  Less stress, less body tension, and MUCH less need to be stimulated by media or pleasure.

Well, that's it. Glad I got the opportunity to put it in front of an experienced audience!

[Stevo]

And this:  If you take the top 3 scientific discoveries humans have made, and described in a 100,000-page coloring book (which mankind could easily produce) we may want to describe them on the first three pages. Better yet, let's put all three of them on the first page and have a toddler Transpose and scribble on that page. We will never unravel the universe.

[Nahm]

@Stevo I realize it is not a popular thing to say...but I find there is a reason for the universe. Not a meaning, but a very solid reason / purpose / use. Get’s Right into the Truth though, otherwise, I’d attempt to communicate it. 

[Stevo]

14 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Stevo I realize it is not a popular thing to say...but I find there is a reason for the universe. Not a meaning, but a very solid reason / purpose / use. Get’s Right into the Truth though, otherwise, I’d attempt to communicate it. 

Hey Nahm, Thanks for the reply.  I was thinking my idea of no universe was somewhat novel, but you seem to be saying that my viewpoint is fairly common.  I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts about this should you have the inclination or time.  I like this place because it is the only one I know of where many are involved in contemplation about the universe.  I did that as a kid.  Because of religion and frustration, I threw my hands up in the air before getting much farther than a voluminous sphere filled with matter.  I love revisiting it as a adult.  

[Leo Gura]

20 hours ago, Nahm said:

I realize it is not a popular thing to say...but I find there is a reason for the universe. Not a meaning, but a very solid reason / purpose / use.

Of course there is a reason. The reason is: Absolute Infinity!

[Nahm]

@Stevo

11 hours ago, Stevo said:

Hey Nahm, Thanks for the reply.  I was thinking my idea of no universe was somewhat novel, but you seem to be saying that my viewpoint is fairly common.  I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts about this should you have the inclination or time.  I like this place because it is the only one I know of where many are involved in contemplation about the universe.  I did that as a kid.  Because of religion and frustration, I threw my hands up in the air before getting much farther than a voluminous sphere filled with matter.  I love revisiting it as a adult.  

I think it’s an awesome read & you’re obviously serious about your trips. Me too. I don’t think your viewpoint is common at all. I wish it was, a lot of people would be freed from a lot of bs. I just had to pause on the meaninglessness. When I see that, I feel like someone is close to the cosmic joke view,  or One, or godhead seeing - not sure which term is most helpful, if at all. If you know what I’m trying to say, I am really interested in your thoughts on the godhead view and infinity. Thanks!

[Timotheus]

@Stevo

On 19.12.2017 at 9:03 PM, Stevo said:

 Does this experience insulate me from "bad trips" in the future or is this how it starts for everyone who eventually has a "bad trip?"

Don't worry about that. If your psyche isn't already that fucked up (like mine for example) you'll probably never have a "bad" trip. Especially while you're becoming more and more conscious from now on.

I even had bad trips on weed the first time I smoked it.

Nice report.

 

[Lauritz]

@Timotheus

I would never say never  
Keep in mind that even Terence McKenna had an experience that frightened him and it was towards the end of his career as a psychonaut. 
Don't know but he seemed pretty fucked up  But then he was also smoking tons of weed during his trips, which is probably a bad idea. 

 

[Joseph Maynor]

I’ve done LSD three times now, all with four tabs.  

Here’s some advice.  Do it alone.  Don’t worry about freaking-out.  You need to learn to detach from thoughts, don’t let the thoughts suck you in too much.  Start to see how reality becomes very neutral.  Start to realize how impulsive the Mind is and how it rarely wants to just surrender to the Now.  Notice when impatience arises, that’s you living in the Mind.  Just try to be in the present moment and be aware.  Take everything in in the Now.  Be like a spectator. Do some journaling in writing during the trip if you feel like recording insights.  Pay attention to changes in how you are feeling from what normal consciousness is like.  You might become more caring and more loving.

Edited December 22, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Stevo]

On 12/20/2017 at 8:26 PM, Nahm said:

@Stevo

I think it’s an awesome read & you’re obviously serious about your trips. Me too. I don’t think your viewpoint is common at all. I wish it was, a lot of people would be freed from a lot of bs. I just had to pause on the meaninglessness. When I see that, I feel like someone is close to the cosmic joke view,  or One, or godhead seeing - not sure which term is most helpful, if at all. If you know what I’m trying to say, I am really interested in your thoughts on the godhead view and infinity. Thanks!

I sure would like to see the cosmic joke or experience One or the Godhead.  I think I have a long way to go with self-improvement before I can get there, though.  Then again, perhaps seeing those would instantly "fix" me or make my problems irrelevant- possibly meaningless.  

[Nahm]

@Stevo I’m no authority on it, just from my experience, mental equanimity first (through practices), then psychedelics to actually see it (from it / as it). When the psych’s kick in, if one has worry, fear, etc...that will prevent / block the ‘seeing’. “Willing to die” is a pinch strong, but I don’t know of a more accurate phrase. Godspeed brutha!  

Also, there is the social aspect to consider. Once you’ve seen behind the curtains, you can’t unsee it. So, you’ll see paradigms as they are in - in people’s minds - and you’ll want to explain this, but if they haven’t experience equanimity & the “Godhead” (or whatever) then there is no communicating it to anyone. 

[Stevo]

Thanks for the message.  I kind of want to confront fear of dying.  That experience scares me, but I think it would be huge for my growth.  I also feel like something that makes me purge would be incredibly healing for me.  I think it would release some tension in my body.  My paradigms are pretty radical.  I am disgusted by most of culture and don't know where I will end up because of it.  I sure as hell don't fit in- or want to be a part of it.