Compersion: the true love and acceptance or "the devil in disguise"?

[Samurai Y]

Long story short:

Female, single child of over-protecting and pretty controlling parents, especially my mother (they got me after 6 babies lost).

In lack of any other, I became their life purpose. Heavy. 

I started exploring my sexuality at the age of 12. I had boys, but I was equally curious about girls. My mom discovered I was kissing/dating a girl at the age of 14, told my dad, and that action of mine caused all sorts of bans and me ending up not wanting to 'go there' cause it's something 'unacceptable and shaming'... Sad. I am almost positive that this affected me having my first sexual experience with a male later on, and not with a female, which was pretty much what I was rooting for; maybe cause it was more of a comfort zone at the time, maybe cause it totally wasn't, I cannot figure it out.

FF to today, I'm 30yo and I'm with a person that had many women in his life. We're 5yrs together and our sex life was awesome from the beginning, but I was always somewhat aware that he was enjoying it way more than I was. I had my first 'eureka' moment couple of months ago, and when it comes to sex, I realized I was never trully relaxed/accepting/giving during the act (while I was convinced I was not sensual/sexual enough).  Realizing that, my libido skyrocketed and if I may say, I never felt the act more as a circulation of the energies and (infinite) love as I'm feeling it now. It's almost mind-blowing to me what was hidden underneath for this entire time without me realizing it.

Anyways, I was never a jealous person and those couple of times when I did sense jealousy, I considered it extremely degrading and not something I want to be a part of. Ever since I had this raise of awareness, I really started working on myself, trying do accept every bit of me, not victimize, not project, non-needy, contemplate what my true nature is, have only love and acceptance for myself.  Figured out it was always about being free, open, exploring and learning. Applied to sex, this 'true nature' realization and love & acceptance led me further to realize that I am excited for my partner when I sense the energy between him and another woman. It's an undenieble part of his nature as well - exploration. I think I reached the point where I'm able to be excited and happy for whatever makes him blossom, simple as that, does not matter if it's sex with another woman or if he climbed Mt.Everest, if you get my point.

By sharing this with him, I could sense him being even more loving, connected, borderline mind-blown, and I guess all - just because he's reaching new levels of acceptance from my side. 

However, my dilemma here is the following: is this higher-me meeting the compersion, or my ego is trying to pull a trick on me by satisfying itself by adding the missing puzzle to the picture, i.e. a woman that I've never had? Or a 'limbo' between these two?

Tried to search 'compersion' topic here, but couldn't find anything. Any other 'fellow-perverts' that would like to contribute?