Awareness destroyed everything

[Waifu Yandere]

I wonder if I am going off track with all of this. All my previous passions and ambitions have completely dissolved into thin air which meant they were just hallucinations? I tried to start new projects but as soon as I begin to think about it, it dissolves. The good thing at least is that all my negative emotions dissipate as well when I just "realize" it. Everything now feels completely meaningless and yet I feel completely fine. I've just graduated so that makes things even more confusing. The only thing that I still enjoy doing is playing the piano but I wonder if that'll eventually disappear as well? I know I'm the only person that can truly know what to do but I want to know at least if I have gone too far off from my original path (truth)? I feel like I have gone back where I started aka not knowing what to do anymore or what will happen anymore.

Edited December 18, 2017 by Waifu Yandere

[Lauritz]

@Waifu Yandere I can relate to what you say. For me it has been a similar development over the last year or so. From what I have read, this process must be expected. We are uncovering our false beliefs and illusions. And and purpose or passion that we believed was ultimately real and true is also revealed as illusory. Because it is ultimately only a function of our human nature (the brain). So it is up to us to define and shape passions and find the purpose in our life. When we are not believing anymore that those things are some inherent aspect of reality we become free to choose and develop those things on our own. 

But that requires work. What has formerly been an unconscious process, where you picked up ideas from society and mixed them with your own, now has to become a process that you think through and define by yourself. And this requires some knowledge of how the mind works in that regard. How do you make yourself become passionate again in a world that was revealed to you as utterly meaningless. I guess that is where Leos Life-Purpose course helps. But I have not purchased it (yet). 

[Waifu Yandere]

I noticed I can no longer do anything that requires thought as it dissolves sooner or later. I may just be going through a period of uncertainty but I highly doubt it will go away. It is as you say, I need to rethink every decision from now on with conscious intent.  

[Viking]

as you progress with consciousness work, you will be able to control whether to dissolve something or not, as long as you dont quit. this too shall pass.

look at sadhguru for example. first all your meaning is destroyed which is a good thing, because then you can build a meaning which is much better. just continue putting in the work. dont start to be lazy and half assly nihilistic though if you notice yourself being lazy thats a trap. passion will come as you progress, watch leo's latest motivation vid, he talks about that.

[Shin]

3 hours ago, Waifu Yandere said:

 I feel like I have gone back where I started aka not knowing what to do anymore or what will happen anymore.

Welcome to reality.

[DoubleYou]

1 hour ago, Waifu Yandere said:

I need to rethink every decision from now on with conscious intent.  

No need to rethink anything. That's the old paradigm trying to make sense of it again. Who will you be when life is totally spontaneous? When it just moves by itself. Will you still be playing the piano? Lets find out. See, you dont have to mentally prepare for these things anymore. There's a chance to be free of that now. 

The paradoxical thing is, when you connect with this authentic part of you, a newfound sense of purpose and direction will start to emerge. This transitional phase can definetely be a tricky one, but you can learn to trust it.

Edited December 18, 2017 by DoubleYou

[Highest]

You have to go ''mad'' to find out the absolute truth, you have to lose your mind. With that said, it doesn't surprise me that a lot of stuff you previously liked doesn't seem appealing anymore, it happened to me as well, I don't have any interest in almost anything anymore. That's just me. But indeed your situation is not rare. I would still find out the truth, it's better than any superficial thing in this world.  Family, Truth, God. That's my life motto.

[Waifu Yandere]

Thanks for all your insights. I guess the only thing to do is keep going... I wonder what will emerge from this.

[Nahm]

@Waifu Yandere what do yo want? 

[Waifu Yandere]

@Nahm to be complete.

[snowleopard]

@Waifu Yandere  This feeling is indeed normal. It's also a sense that everything is already complete, exactly as it is -- so how does one add to it? Many seem to get into some kind of selfless compassionate service, and find a lot of fulfillment in that.  Others seem to be compelled, for whatever reason, to get back to nature, where perhaps the divine essence of it all inspires the soul.  Also, should it come to pass, having children keeps one busy for quite a while. But whichever, keep the faith that following the wisdom of the heart is always available.

[Nahm]

@Waifu Yandere what do you need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing? 

[Natasha]

@Waifu Yandere I think Leo addressed this issue in his motivational video yesterday. Reconnecting with your vision and taking action is the key. The highlighted quote was "We must act out passion before we can feel it".

[Nahm]

@Waifu Yandere “all my negative emotions dissipate”      Can’t hold thoughts resistant to what you want if you are summoning passion.

[Waifu Yandere]

@snowleopard But have I yet to realize it.

@Nahm Good questions. I don't have an answer yet.

@Natasha I just had a chance to watch the video but I'm left with the feeling that some of the things he suggested are contradictory to each other for e.g. getting in touch with survival is the opposite of consciousness. 

[Natasha]

7 minutes ago, Waifu Yandere said:

I just had a chance to watch the video but I'm left with the feeling that some of the things he suggested are contradictory to each other for e.g. getting in touch with survival is the opposite of consciousness. 

Yes, we got to survive, but there are higher- and lower-consciousness ways of survival, examples: healthy diet vs eating junk food, meditation/time in the nature vs computer games/TV, etc. Leo also makes a point about high consciousness people actively engage in living out their life purpose.

[Shin]

2 hours ago, Natasha said:

Yes, we got to survive, but there are higher- and lower-consciousness ways of survival, examples: healthy diet vs eating junk food, meditation/time in the nature vs computer games/TV, etc. Leo also makes a point about high consciousness people actively engage in living out their life purpose.

WELL EXCUSE ME MISS, BUT IT'S FREEZING COLD HERE, CAN'T EVEN GO FOR A 30 MINUTES WALK WITHOUT GETTING A COLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus, those enlightened rockstar, always telling us what to do !!!

[Natasha]

8 hours ago, Shin said:

WELL EXCUSE ME MISS, BUT IT'S FREEZING COLD HERE, CAN'T EVEN GO FOR A 30 MINUTES WALK WITHOUT GETTING A COLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You don't have to go outside when it's freezing cold to live high-consciousness lifestyle, so chill, man (no pun intended) 

[Dodo]

12 hours ago, Natasha said:

Yes, we got to survive, but there are higher- and lower-consciousness ways of survival, examples: healthy diet vs eating junk food, meditation/time in the nature vs computer games/TV, etc. Leo also makes a point about high consciousness people actively engage in living out their life purpose.

I do not understand why one cannot be mindful while watching TV or while playing games. It actually becomes like a more challenging session .  Like training yourself to be conscious when there's millions of things happening in front of your eyes, not just when eyes are closed.

Since I am looking for that which is unchanging and available in any situation, it seems to me this inquiry cannot be stopped by the events happening. Aren't Low-conscious and High-conscious concepts of the mind, even though very helpful ones? Why are we cherry picking? There's no difference between eating junk food and having a healthy diet in reality, no? Only in the realm of mind (time) it has a difference. 

Edited December 19, 2017 by Dodo

[snowleopard]

 

@Dodo  Well yes, whatever the circumstances, 'nothing', amazingly enough, is what's happening. But I still prefer that it doesn't feel like indigestion