Being strongly influenced by one person?

[bananak]

At what point is being strongly influenced by one person more than others inauthentic? If ever?

Is this just part of the journey? Is this super-early stages of developing unique style?

 

I don't know if I am studying one person too much, I know I am obsessed with their excellence. It leaves me curious to no end. I feel like they are becoming a huge part of the reason why I do the things I do and act the way I act. My beliefs and values seem identical or something. I find myself learning more and more, and even though I want to keep going I stop myself sometimes because I'm afraid I'll become to much like them- which is what feels right but is probably inauthentic?

I feel like me holding back even though I want to learn more slows down mastery. At the same time I feel like a year or two of diving deep into their world is nothing, and only the beginning stages of this path im on... I tell myself that its just 1 stage, which can take years, but every time I clear a "stage" I get closer to a unique view, which is never ending just more and more unique.

 

I'm really wasting so much energy on this in the back of my head everyday. It's too weird of a topic to talk about to my therapist every time I try to, I end up judging myself. I was hoping maybe somebody else experienced this or understands it. 

[Girzo]

Until you automatically say: "Perfect!!! That's right" to everything they say, then you are good with following whoever you want, how much you want. Just don't throw away your critical thinking ability.

[YaNanNallari]

Being authentic takes some deep introspection and from that basis setting values that you see fit. If you then won't stick to your values without adapting your values, it becomes inauthentic.

Anyway you seem to be at a point where being authentic isn't something you should care about. Just have fun, learn more and follow examples while slowly figuring out what feels authentic to you. I mean straight up whatever you do now will end up being inauthentic to a degree. You won't find a perfect answer.

I think it's best to keep some kind of a balance between finding out more stuff and just doing things. Make sure you will however develop a meditation practice first of all and then start to see what to study etc. If you have basic habits down, there's no way you'll go too wrong. Being too hard on yourself and not enjoying at all (not that there has to be enjoyment in everything) will just lead to not doing things with discipline, which is far worse than going a bit off. Your way is most likely pretty good anyway. If you have issues, find out solutions. Sometimes the solution is to not care about the issue.

[bananak]

@Girzo You mean assuming they're right before thinking for myself right?

@YaNanNallari How is whatever I do now inauthentic to a degree? This is great info thank you!

[YaNanNallari]

16 minutes ago, bananak said:

@YaNanNallari How is whatever I do now inauthentic to a degree? This is great info thank you!

Although I said it unclearly, what I meant is that as your awareness grows your goals or at least approach to what your goals are will change. So you can definitely plan what you do and it's recommended, but your way of approaching can't really be optimized overnight. It will take growing your awareness, which is of course an infinite and rewarding progress. Not having a perfect goal is not really an issue though, just no need to overthink it till eternity or approach it from a very serious perspective.

[Nahm]

@bananak Focus on your own blooming. Listen to those that help you see within yourself, and contribute to your motivation of what you want. Don’t listen to those with information you need to agree to or commit to memory, or accept on faith. It’s the information that has value, as it expands your perception. The value is not the person it comes to you from. Anyone who tells you otherwise, simply doesn’t know better, and watch out for those people, and their kool aid, nails, nooses, rocks, stakes, and pitchforks.