Unconditional Love?

[Makkatya]

Can one love unconditionally without being enlightened? 

If you are enlightened what does a relationship mean to you? Why be in one? (This is more hypothetical, but if you are I'd gladly read your wisdom.  )

[vizual]

I don't know, what is love?

[TruthSeeker]

 

 

14 minutes ago, vizual said:

I don't know, what is love?

"...Baby dont hurt me...dont hurt me...no more"

Relationships with anyone is one way to achieve enlightenment.

How?

Well since we are all one. So whats the best way to realize you are one with someone..(by hanging out on the forums??? NO) by being in a real relationship with some. 

A relationship is like a sandbox for achieving enlightenment 

The real test if someone is enlightened or not is how you act around other people. Do you get angry at them? Are you easily annoyed at little things they do. If so you must see yourself as separate from them.

Marriage or any relationship is practice for enlightenment. If I can see myself as ONE with one other person so then I have exercised my enlightenment muscle (so to speak) and now I can more easily see my self as one with other people. 

These are my thoughts

[TruthSeeker]

And no one cannot love unconditionally when not enlightened.

To love unconditionally means Im completely all about the other person, because in essence I see him/her as myself. 

If Im not enlightened then Im separate from the whole world and all people and I only care about myself so if someone does something against me then I stop loving them. 

Its easy to say Im ONE with the whole world and every person and I'm enlightened blah blah (talk the talk)

A relationship is a opportunity to walk the walk. And practice being one with some one.

 

 

[Avi]

Here is my question on "true love" and maybe @Sarah_Flagg and @MIA.RIVEL can chime in on this because I feel they are both very knowledgeable on this topic. 

Can you love someone who is not faithful to you? In other words, in order for me to love you, you need to be sexually faithful and emotionally connected to only me, and if you're not then I can't love you. It seems like I'm holding my love hostage or I'm being selfish with my love if I or someone else does that. But is that what true love is? If I truly loved every aspect of them and they wanted to go be emotional connected and/or sexually with other people then I should be just as happy, loving, and supportive. This sounds crazy but this is what has been coming to me these past couple days when I've been meditating. 

I guess it comes down to each persons personal definition? 

[Ayla]

51 minutes ago, Makkatya said:

Can one love unconditionally without being enlightened? 

If you are enlightened what does a relationship mean to you? Why be in one? (This is more hypothetical, but if you are I'd gladly read your wisdom.  )

To me, at this point in my evolution, a love relationship means truly the acceptance that each of partners are specs of consciousness - personal taste is of course what attracts me to a certain person, but there's also a deep knowing and understanding of whom that being really is, despite the outer circumstances that might occur. So attraction and acceptance within knowing truth would be my definition of love at this point...  

[Avi]

@Ayla I also want your opinion on my post above yours. Because I feel what you said relates to my post haha

[Ayla]

9 minutes ago, Avi said:

Can you love someone who is not faithful to you? In other words, in order for me to love you, you need to be sexually faithful and emotionally connected to only me, and if you're not then I can't love you. It seems like I'm holding my love hostage or I'm being selfish with my love if I or someone else does that. But is that what true love is? If I truly loved every aspect of them and they wanted to go be emotional connected and/or sexually with other people then I should be just as happy, loving, and supportive. This sounds crazy but this is what has been coming to me these past couple days when I've been meditating. 

I guess it comes down to each persons personal definition? 

For a relationship to exist between two people, (any type of relationship), they must both agree on some rules. As long as they are both comfortable with those rules, everything is smooth. If one or both ceases to agree with said rules, what should happen is that these rules get renegotiated into a new set. If there is accord, fine. If there is not, relationship breaks. 

So no, if you agreed on a classic type of relationship that is exclusive, being cheated on or cheating is NOT OK (not within rules). From there, relationship might evolve into the new riles of non-exclusivity, or break down. However, with true love there is no need whatsoever that the person being loved conforms in some way to your personal set of values. In other words, nothing keeps you from loving someone who does not love you (anymore) 

 

[Avi]

@Ayla This just doesn't make sense to me. Why are we putting rules on love? We are just trapping love into agreements and contracts that put specific limitations on love. 

[Ayla]

2 minutes ago, Avi said:

@Ayla This just doesn't make sense to me. Why are we putting rules on love? We are just trapping love into agreements and contracts that put specific limitations on love. 

It is not on LOVE that we put rules, but on a relationship - a contract, a set of conditions agreed upon more or less consciously. As I said in the final comment, love can happen outside of the relationship, unconditionally. 

[abrakamowse]

[Keyblade Viking]

Like and Love is not the same and Love is not what people think it is.

Love is Truth and it pretty much have to be unconditional for it to be real, it can only be experienced when you move passed the ego and open up to the full infinity of who you are  

Now is someone is just straight out "evil" or whatever you'll see the condition they're in and you still love them but unconditional love does not mean (at all) unconditional fluff, anything but in fact. 
"If you love something set it free" right? you'll want to help in whatever way you can to break down their ego regardless of what people around you think of you for it.

If you love your body you will take care of it, exercise (to break the body down), feed it well and rest it (to build it back up even stronger but also healthier), it is the same when you love everyone else, you don't want to go easy on them if you know it ain't gonna do them well in the end, beating someone down can actually be the same as stopping someone from committing suicide as you bring them closer to their true self and real life.

A relationship in this case would be something you have with someone you fit well together etc but what you really 'love' above all else is the spirit itself (which in a way is everything lol) and this person that you spend so much time with you would't love any more than anyone else (or it'd be conditional love) but you love yourself enough to be with the one who make you the most happy and fulfilled.

2 hours ago, TruthSeeker said:

Relationships with anyone is one way to achieve enlightenment.

How?

Well since we are all one. So whats the best way to realize you are one with someone..(by hanging out on the forums??? NO) by being in a real relationship with some. 

A relationship is like a sandbox for achieving enlightenment 

The real test if someone is enlightened or not is how you act around other people. Do you get angry at them? Are you easily annoyed at little things they do. If so you must see yourself as separate from them.

Marriage or any relationship is practice for enlightenment. If I can see myself as ONE with one other person so then I have exercised my enlightenment muscle (so to speak) and now I can more easily see my self as one with other people. 

This is mostly actually bullshit because when you're in a relationship it's so easy to get stuck in their ego instead and especially if you spend time with only one person.
It'd be very difficult to break free from that but only secluded meditation and no social interaction may or may not be the best idea either.

How you act around other people is probably indeed the real test but you can get very angry very easily without the ego in this world lol (or at least seam like it but you'd never get sucked in to it, it'd always just be a tool at your disposal), like I said earlier, you might need to break shit down before building it back up again  

Edited February 25, 2016 by Keyblade Viking

[Natasha]

Enlightened Tony Parsons and Lisa Cairns use 'unconditional love' as a synonym for 'enlightenment' and 'non-duality' in their talks. They are both in relationships, and when mention their partners, they always do it with warm regard and a lot of respect.

[MIARIVEL]

5 hours ago, Avi said:

Here is my question on "true love" and maybe @Sarah_Flagg and @MIA.RIVEL can chime in on this because I feel they are both very knowledgeable on this topic. 

Can you love someone who is not faithful to you? In other words, in order for me to love you, you need to be sexually faithful and emotionally connected to only me, and if you're not then I can't love you. It seems like I'm holding my love hostage or I'm being selfish with my love if I or someone else does that. But is that what true love is? If I truly loved every aspect of them and they wanted to go be emotional connected and/or sexually with other people then I should be just as happy, loving, and supportive. This sounds crazy but this is what has been coming to me these past couple days when I've been meditating. 

I guess it comes down to each persons personal definition? 

@Avi Hi Avi, My personal opinion is that, meditation to me, is my short holiday from everything (the external environment, people, my thoughts). Sometimes thoughts creep in when I meditate but, then I picture an ocean, thoughts come in and then I see them go back out to the ocean. 

The answer to your question 'can you love someone who is not faithful to you' the answer is yes. However, can you continue to be with and love someone who has been unfaithful to you, the answer is no. 

People come into our lives to be apart of our lifes, to add value and happiness to our life. They are not mean to be our whole life and nothing else matters but them. No no no. Love is equally given and received. I find that a lot of people who have relationship issues want something from the other person that they are not getting. As much as we love someone we cannot forget our worth as a person.

Let me share a saying that I love - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".

We all let our emotions cloud our judgement of seeing reason in the situation and for this, many of us find ourselves wanting a fantasy life that we picture in our mind. Always listen to your heart. You may have your mind telling yourself you love this girl, then your heart is hurting because its saying "this is not right, you don't have to put up with this behaviour". You treat others how you want to be treated and if people choose to hurt, manipulate or deceive you in any way shape or form, you need to really ask yourself if this person is really worth the hurt, pain and stress. The person you choose to love shouldn't be making you feel sad or questioning your love for her, they are supposed to enhance your life and feelings. 

For me personally, life is too short for me to be wasting my time with anyone who does not treat me with respect.

Hope this helps?

[MIARIVEL]

@vizual What is Love?

Everyone has their own interpretation of love. I know girls that think love is when their partner abuses them and they accept that because they "love" them. Other people think it is a feeling, that feeling you get when you 'just know' you love someone else. To me, love is equality, honesty, respect, and integrity. 

I do not believe in unconditional love with a partner, because partners can cheat. I believe in unconditional love to your children or your own family, that type of bond is very strong despite whatever is said and done in most cases. 

[David1]

7 hours ago, vizual said:

I don't know, what is love?

To me love is wanting another person, or animal, to be happy. It's a great feeling to see someone else florish and truely be happy, and knowing you played a part in that.

[vizual]

@Pinocchio

Are you Jed McKenna's parrot by any instance?

 

j/k I appreciate your perspective

[Avi]

@MIA.RIVEL is has, thank you.  

[Amplituda]

If it's LOVE, it can't be conditional. Otherwise it's barter. Pretty strong feeling, just for comparison - pure LOVE would be many times stronger than what most of us remember as 'first love' to boy or a girl, even though most of us think it was the strongest feeling in their life. So as Leo mentioned in one of his videos, it can be very rewarding to take a path to enlightenment. If you can just experience a feeling of pure LOVE, you will understand.

[Natasha]

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Edited February 26, 2016 by Natasha