My gf parents hate me

[Psyche_92]

Oh man, i don't know where to start. Her parents are insane, but i leave my opinion in the middle. For now. 
I'm going to try and give you guys a brief overview which is hard ( so much shit going on ).

I'm basically in a "relationship" with her for about 6 months. I'm saying "relationship" because we only meet for like 1-4 times a month, which involves quick 1 hour meet-ups after her school and stuff. 

It all started after the first meeting with her parents, and that basically was also the start of this hell. I was together with her for 3 months, when i finally got invited over to her house. As i got there, i could quickly notice her big house, and i could already tell that her parents were rich ( my parents are not rich, but middle class kinda). We got inside her house, and her parents were waiting for me inside, immediately commanding me to put my jacket in the hallway. Her father gave me a hand, and he was kind of friendly, but her mother was distant and seemingly not so much interested. After some small talk ( which i always hated ), her father went to his desk to work, and her mother started cooking in the kitchen. I went to the living room with my gf ( not allowed to go to her room), and we started watching a movie. As we were watching the movie, i sensed something being off. My gf ( 21 ) started to cuddle up against me, kissing me on my cheeks and stuff, when all of a sudden her mom stood in front of us, telling her that she has no manners, and that actions like that are unacceptable ( after this, her father started checking on us every 15mins, (LOL this was fucking insane)). I didn't really know what to say, but i was kind of shocked. I also didn't really care about staying any longer, but i gave it a shot. As the dinner was ready, we were asked to come to the table. Her mother was standing in the kitchen, looking at me with an angry face, telling me to wash my hands before sitting at the table, because those were "the rules of the house". By that time i really wanted to go home, and i was thinking about some good excuse to leave, but i was too scared to do so. As we were sitting at the table, her mom started telling us to sit further apart from each other, and that we had to hold our hands above the table ( i was murdering her in my imagination by now ). It was fucking quiet at the table, and all of a sudden her mom asks me this fucked up question: "Hey, i wonder why did you choose our daughter?", "She's somewhat chubby for a skinny guy like you isn't she?". I didn't know what to say, and i couldn't believe what was happening to be honest. After dinner i told my gf with a small excuse that i had to go home, because i really didn't want to stay any longer. I entered my car, and i knew i was in trouble. As i came home, my girlfriend had already called and texted me several times. She was crying, and she told me that her parents didn't approve of me, and that i was very bad mannered, because i didn't thank them for the dinner ( i forgot about it due quickly wanting to go home ). Her parents also told her that i wouldn't be a good husband, because i couldn't take care of her ( i was unemployed, but studying IT at that time ). It was also by that time, her parents didn't want her to see me anymore, and started to get paranoid. 

By now we are still "together" but shit has only gotten worse.

Shit that's happened after the first meeting:

-Her parents are spying on her every time she leaves the door, and we already caught them following us several times.
-Whenever she leaves the house and they don't know where she is, they call and text her until her phone literally explodes.
-Her sister texted me a half page of text on FaceBook some weeks ago, in short saying that i need to stop terrorizing her family, or that she's going to harm me with something. ( she's 16 and a feminist)
-Her parents went to my ex girlfriends house, asking her parents about me
-Her parents are accusing me of being a drug-dealer ( i think my ex twisted the story i once told her, about experimenting with drugs, just to fool me or something)

 

I don't know what to do honestly. I can't call this shit love anymore, and i'm starting to think that i'm being disrespectful to myself for staying in this hell. Her parents are literally insane and need to get some help in my opinion. With a little bit of luck i'm seeing her for an hour every month, and by now i'm almost not caring about it anymore. We are always arguing, even in the short amount of time we can spend together. She also keeps telling me that her parents are perfect, and that they are just being "overprotective".

I know being unemployed is not something to be proud of, but at the moment i can't really help it, and it also shouldn't be a reason for their parents to treat me like that immo. They are just very materialistic based, and only care about status and money, which is very obvious by now. 

 

I'm wondering what you guys think about whole this situation? I feel like i have to ditch her and move on with my life.

[ajasatya]

18 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

I can't call this shit love anymore, and i'm starting to think that i'm being disrespectful to myself for staying in this hell.

very good.

18 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

I feel like i have to ditch her and move on with my life.

excelent.

i have nothing to say.

[Shroomdoctor]

@Psyche_92 You can't fix that level of crazy.

[Shin]

This is stand up comedy level of crazyness.

Can't stop laughing ! 

Thank you !

[BjarkeT]

best probably what ajasatya suggested or if its a possibility maybe try to understand so you both are on the same *page*(or so both understand each others perspective) 

 

I don't mean to be rude but i  really don't see how this is funny 

Edited December 14, 2017 by BjarkeT

[ADD]

I know people like this too, very rich and living in their own insane bubble. In the cases i know, unfortuanetly the kids have grown to be even worse adults than their parents.

Edited December 15, 2017 by ADD
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[smd]

@Psyche_92 Dude.  If you had a daughter, and you walked in on her making out with you, as a Father, what the hell would you do???

Of course they're going to get pissed!  You've put the idea in their heads that the two of you are fucking like dogs.  Do you really think the parents are going to give you respect for that?   You really think holding hands under the table is a good idea?   For all they know, she's stroking your cock.  The WORST possible images are going to spring in their minds BECAUSE they are her parents & always assume the worst.

Also, since you were there, you didn't treat them like human beings.  It appears you didn't ask them about what they did or how they made their wealth, where they came from, the usual chit-chat you have when first being introduced to strangers.  If you don't talk to them like you would anyone else, then yeah, they're going to stay angry & tell her that you're not right for them because you appear you weren't interested in knowing them, but only getting your jollies with their daughter.

All you had to do was tell your GF that you wanted to be respectful to her parents by not showing affection.  Do it later, away from prying eyes, on another date.  She'd agree to that!  You have to set the boundaries.  You let her do what she wanted to do & what she wanted to do was piss off her parents.  Women want to feel drama & the full range of emotions: she wants to love you & hate you & everything in between.  The larger the emotional range, the stronger the bond she'll have with you.

Call her up & ask for another dinner with her parents.  Tell her that there will be no physical contact on the date & you want to show respect.  Get in there & ask them about their lives. And listen.  Tell them your dreams & aspirations.  Tell them about your job issues.  It's as simple as that.  You can turn this all around.  Break the ice.

At any rate, that's if you actually care to salvage the relationship.  If not, then just keep doing what you're doing. lol.

Edited December 15, 2017 by smd

[Psyche_92]

On 15/12/2017 at 4:39 PM, smd said:

@Psyche_92 Dude.  If you had a daughter, and you walked in on her making out with you, as a Father, what the hell would you do???

Of course they're going to get pissed!  You've put the idea in their heads that the two of you are fucking like dogs.  Do you really think the parents are going to give you respect for that?   You really think holding hands under the table is a good idea?   For all they know, she's stroking your cock.  The WORST possible images are going to spring in their minds BECAUSE they are her parents & always assume the worst.

Also, since you were there, you didn't treat them like human beings.  It appears you didn't ask them about what they did or how they made their wealth, where they came from, the usual chit-chat you have when first being introduced to strangers.  If you don't talk to them like you would anyone else, then yeah, they're going to stay angry & tell her that you're not right for them because you appear you weren't interested in knowing them, but only getting your jollies with their daughter.

All you had to do was tell your GF that you wanted to be respectful to her parents by not showing affection.  Do it later, away from prying eyes, on another date.  She'd agree to that!  You have to set the boundaries.  You let her do what she wanted to do & what she wanted to do was piss off her parents.  Women want to feel drama & the full range of emotions: she wants to love you & hate you & everything in between.  The larger the emotional range, the stronger the bond she'll have with you.

Call her up & ask for another dinner with her parents.  Tell her that there will be no physical contact on the date & you want to show respect.  Get in there & ask them about their lives. And listen.  Tell them your dreams & aspirations.  Tell them about your job issues.  It's as simple as that.  You can turn this all around.  Break the ice.

At any rate, that's if you actually care to salvage the relationship.  If not, then just keep doing what you're doing. lol.

You sound like the perfect partner for her. Do you want her phone number?

[smd]

3 hours ago, Psyche_92 said:

You sound like the perfect partner for her. Do you want her phone number?

I wasted my time.  Forget I said anything.

[Lorcan]

It depends what you want and how much you want what it is, that you want. Contemplate this for yourself. No one can give you the answer

You have a goal. A thing is getting in your way. This thing is a problem.Source the problem/s. Eliminate the problem/s. 

You want to be "X" persons boyfriend but "X" persons parents are significantly toxic. Put yourself on death-ground.

You are both over 18, so you both are free to go where you please. From my perceptions it appears that you both NEED the support of your parents to be able to thrive, without the support, you will live a harder existence. Both of you are in some way slaves or serfs to your parents. This seems more so for your girlfriend.

What is stopping you from taking yourself and your girlfriend to a new location, away from your parents, where you can both live together independently. If you cannot do this. You must do whatever you can to liberate yourself and assist in the acquisition of your girlfriends independence  (if she is willing to put in the work).

How to make money? Start your own business. Invest in stocks and other such things. No one can tell you the specifics. The specifics are lengthy. You will have research the specifics yourself. You will likely get what you want if your will remains unbroken. Contemplate yourself. Meditate over it. Do not even ask permission. Happiness is your birthright. Eliminate the threats.

Simultaneously. This is hilarious. Yet this is serious. Yet hilarious. Do not forget in your strategic contemplation over what actions you should take next to briefly take a step back and have a laugh.

Hell. Why should you listen to me? I am just some foolish young boy. Hahahaha.