Query on Affirmations and Emotions

[Maheshwar]

I think It's better to tell my doubt with an example, so I'll directly start with an example. Here it goes, I am poor in my relationships. According to the theory of affirmations even though u may suck at relationships, you should believe that you are good at it. So, I have used the affirmations and barely tell myself that I suck at relationships ( I always tell myself that I am good at my relationships) even though the reality is that I am not very good at relationships and I am still trying improve at them. The problem is that sometimes I get sad emotions that I am still bad in my relationships. So is it okay to get such get such kind of emotions? Or somehow will the emotions not allow me to improve my relationships? (I felt like during these situations the right thing to do is be with the emotion, let it go, use a postive affirmation 'I am good at my relationships' but I am not sure abt it. Is this the right way?)
 

Edited December 13, 2017 by Maheshwar

[Ian]

Firstly, of course it's ok to feel whatever emotions come up for you. You may not realise it yet, but having these feelings is important work on your part in clearing negative feelings from the collective. I am grateful for your work.

It's hard to offer exact advice without knowing what you mean by "poor in relationships". What is it about your relationships that leaves you lacking?

My intuitive guess without knowing exactly what you mean, is that you think relationships should provide you with certain things (happiness, love, safety etc.), when in reality YOU are the ONLY person who can provide yourself with these things.

The game of having people constantly disappoint you until you realise that it's up to you to provide yourself with the love you need may seem a bit cruel at first, but it's more like tough love from the universe - the end result is worth it.

Once you begin to love yourself relentlessly, you will find that the universe no longer has a need to manifest disappointing relationships for you, and the 'problem' will resolve itself. Your relationships with other people are simply a reflection of your relationship with yourself. Perhaps you've heard the saying, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." It's not a command, it's a law of the universe! It takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

May you be blessed with ecstasy

[Nahm]

@Maheshwar I would move your focus out of the relationships category and into the self category. Affirmations should be about your confidence, synronicity, etc - “you” centered stuff, not relationships stuff. As you meditate and do the practices and increase your consciousness, the relationships will become second nature, because we are all really only perceiving our understanding of our selves. 

[Maheshwar]

Thanks for the advices guys @Iam@Ian and @Nahm!!

[d0ornokey]

im seeing lots of talk about training the subconscious these days here 

[dude]

Well you can do all the affirmations you want. if you still believe you're bad at relationships it wont change anything. Your personal image has taken a stance, a belief of "I'm bad at relationships." Now you're telling yourself I'm good at relationships but positive thinking only helps when you believe what you say. So you're not getting to it at the root cause you're just covering it up with affirmations. My advice:

1. Try to identify the exact reason of why you're bad at relationships.
   1. Try to either re-frame the belief until you're sure that you are actually good at relationship your belief was just flawed OR
   2. Work on yourself until you get to the point where you're good at relationships.