How to stop care about aging?

[Monkey-man]

It might sound weird and girly but throughout my childhood I developed fear of growing up which throughout my early adulthood developed into strong fear of aging.

I used to think about death and becoming old from age of 5, it did bother me a lot then.

almost couple decades later i still did not get over that. i mean i sorta forgot about it in my teens and came back to that fear extensively during this year

and i'm posting this not because it is just regular fear. I mean it bothers me to the extent of suicidal behavior because of how much I already aged since childhood and teens.

i did huge self-help work so far, i had many many issues, but i just can't get over this particular aspect. i'm young but my body and face became older than before and this thought killing me

now i'm making research on elixir of youth, i'm getting insane. my fam are pissed off on me. i have a naive dream that if i only look younger like before i'd go and conquer the world but i'm holding myself back.

what's wrong with me? it is so infantile and shameful, my self-esteem felt down to the bottom end. i don't want other people, friends and girls to see me. 

ps. i know i am not my body but i'm not awakened so this understanding do not help me much.

pps. i have received professional help. they didn't help much

Edited December 13, 2017 by Monkey-man

[supremeyingyang]

36 minutes ago, Monkey-man said:

It might sound weird and girly but throughout my childhood I developed fear of growing up which throughout my early adulthood developed into strong fear of aging.

It's okay to talk about fears. The fear of not want to grow up is very common, in my social circle. I said to myself as I turned 21, that I would see myself as a Adult at 25. No excuses any more.

36 minutes ago, Monkey-man said:

and i'm posting this not because it is just regular fear. I mean it bothers me to the extent of suicidal behavior because of how much I already aged since childhood and teens.

If it's really not regular then see a Professional. But I think you'll have allow to accept it. Give yourself time to grow.

I embrace the process of aging. I'm excited to see body getting older (I'll be better and better due to my training) and of course i want to be as long as possible as healthy as possible. With modern medicine and knowledge you have the years from 20-60 as your prime in health and mind. And as a Bonus you get maybe 20-40 years as a Senior. If you make wise long range decisions, you'll age much less as the typical joe average, I promiss. But you'll age.

 

[pluto]

Store these words deep within you, lock them and destroy the key.

You don't stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing.

[jse]

Ask any river:
"Do you age as you flow to the ocean?"

[Principium Nexus]

@Monkey-man Let it be. By resisting it you create a problem to fix, even forcing to stop caring is making it a bigger problem. Don't identify with the idea, does it matter to become old? You are never too old to start living

 

 

[petragr]

i have listened to Louise Hay , she is another fantastic metaphysical teacher , she teaches people to use positive self talk, always.

She says that there are 20 year olds that act ancient and 90 year old that act and feel young.

When I feel old , even at the age of 20 's ,I know I am getting depressed , your feeling  about age could also be a signal that you are getting depressed.....

[krish]

@Monkey-man Honestly, The first thing that came to my mind when i read your post is "what.... is this an issue in first place" ...Later i realized, each person emotional state is different that even small thoughts like these may bother them like hell.

This is my recommendation everytime when you get this thought

Imagine yourself that you were born in a poor country (say in africa) and starving for food

or 

imagine kids dying in africa because of lack of food/water etc

So now compare this situation with your current situation...does it not sound silly? you are just knocked down by one thought whereas people in real life face a lot of tough situations day in day out but it is possible they may be relatively happy compared to you....for e.g the starving kid in africa will be happy when he gets his food and all his focus will be on his basic needs..thats it.... since your basic needs are met, you are getting affected by things which are actually not that important.

Your problem is acceptance. everybody grows old and dies one day and you have to accept that in a deeper level. Once you accept that you have to live in the present as much as you can because thats all you have throughout your life. So make the most out of it instead of thinking past/future. Extract the max juice out of life and you can do that by being in the presence.

Your importance to your age shows how much power you have given to your EGO. It reminds me of one of the spiritual masters saying "In the vast cosmos, the physical is probably 1% only and in that our solar system is a spec and in that our earth is a micro spec and in that you are super duper duper micro spec but YOU THINK otherwise" that is a big problem. Take things easy man...Keep your mind busy with full of positive thoughts, Live your life.. This is not an issue at all

Edited January 8, 2018 by krish

[Guest Quanty]

This will sound weird to people: You can actually reverse aging

How? Nirvana

It is free? Pain and Society Quit. (why i say this? because nobody will engage in tapping into the rabbit hole (root chakra) without consequences.)

 

Blessings

Edited February 9, 2018 by Quanty

[Monkey-man]

@Quanty how's that possible

[pluto]

Think of yourself as a cell within a body(In this case the earth or universe as the greater body) it dies and regenerates updated somewhere else as do you. Only ego holds onto things, once you become the embodiment of true self, ego-loops disappear and you become free of ego-driven thoughts, attachments and limitations.

[Guest Quanty]

11 hours ago, pluto said:

Think of yourself as a cell within a body(In this case the earth or universe as the greater body) it dies and regenerates updated somewhere else as do you. Only ego holds onto things, once you become the embodiment of true self, ego-loops disappear and you become free of ego-driven thoughts, attachments and limitations.

Truth. And as people living on earth the technique or technology to do this was forgotten, and if persists among a few is banned or silent. 

Edited February 9, 2018 by Quanty

[GrowingUp]

I'm curious what your exact fears are about aging. What do you fear about aging and the aging process? You mentioned looking older - but so what? What are you making it mean that "your body and face became older". To diagnose your specific thought error - it's important to know your specific thought or thoughts.

Share those with us - what your lovely brain is making "aging" mean to you - and we can delve in and see what's up.

 

[Jamie Universe]

4 hours ago, GrowingUp said:

I'm curious what your exact fears are about aging. What do you fear about aging and the aging process? You mentioned looking older - but so what? What are you making it mean that "your body and face became older". To diagnose your specific thought error - it's important to know your specific thought or thoughts.

Share those with us - what your lovely brain is making "aging" mean to you - and we can delve in and see what's up.

 

Yea it kind of sounds like your either afraid of death, or afraid of your looks.

[GrowingUp]

It's funny. I went out with friend's last night - and I'm in my mid-40's and they're in their mid to late 30's... and it was weird how much they talked about aging. About their salt intake and how they had to go to bed earlier and couldn't drink as much. They work with 20-somethings - and they were a little over-focused on the comments their younger counterparts were making about 30 "being old". 

I guess I don't focus on that - because I'm not focused so much on "who I am" or "how I'm perceived" - but on what I'm doing, moment to moment. 

The entire "let's talk about being an adult" conversation was incredibly boring - because it was just complaints on age. Who cares. It's like complaining about the sun. It exists. Let's move on. What's EXCITING in your life? What are you DOING? What are you LEARNING? What are you TEACHING others? How are you SERVING? I'm not some static noun - I'm a VERB - verbing regardless of my age. And I'll be verbing all the way to the grave.

I guess I didn't understand your question - because I'm way more interested in what I'm doing in the moment and how I'm growing - than a process that continues in the background on it's own without my help. 

I hope you get some perspective on aging - because I'd hate for you to waste valuable time focused on a fact of life - instead of actively living life moment-to-moment and enjoying the experience of being and doing.

[Monkey-man]

On 10.02.2018 at 2:56 AM, GrowingUp said:

I'm curious what your exact fears are about aging. What do you fear about aging and the aging process? You mentioned looking older - but so what? What are you making it mean that "your body and face became older". To diagnose your specific thought error - it's important to know your specific thought or thoughts.

Share those with us - what your lovely brain is making "aging" mean to you - and we can delve in and see what's up.

 

I had this fear from age 5-7. Now it came back to paranoic extents, big time paranoia (i'm 23). I don't want to get older I guess. for me Its a mystery why I am afraid of that. Maybe its lack of self-worth,I have a fear that I may not be able to find my female half to spend life with because I will get too old too soon. actually, i think thats the main reason on the surface, and i have no idea what might be underneath that.

Its just paranoia i'm happen to cling upon

I  agree we have to do our things and follow our bliss, and stop all the neediness. I'm slowly overcoming this fear..

Edited February 10, 2018 by Monkey-man

[Shin]

12 minutes ago, Monkey-man said:

I had this fear from age 5-7. Now it came back to paranoic extents, big time paranoia (i'm 23). I don't want to get older I guess. for me Its a mystery why I am afraid of that. Maybe its lack of self-worth,I have a fear that I may not be able to find my female half to spend life with because I will get too old too soon. actually, i think thats the main reason on the surface, and i have no idea what might be underneath that.

Its just paranoia i'm happen to cling upon

I  agree we have to do our things and follow our bliss, and stop all the neediness. I'm slowly overcoming this fear..

Are you seeing a therapist ?

That does not sounds like something you just want to talk about on forums.

[GrowingUp]

Another thing to think about is that you don't have to rid your life of the fear of aging to live a rich, full, meaningful life.

Meaning - this fear of aging is uncomfortable for you. Let's say you stop resisting it and you simply let it be.

You say "Ah yes - today I'm really feeling a fear of aging. Time to go do some amazing things and let the fear do as it wishes" - and then you go take action on meaningful things you wish to accomplish - with the "fear of aging" tucked in your back pocket.

Sometimes it's tiny - and sometimes it's big - but you can "have" a fear of aging - and still take action on your values and things you wish to accomplish.

We often think... "I can't do anything UNTIL my fears are gone" OR... "Something is WRONG with me if I have fears"

Not so. Our feelings are a direct feedback of our thoughts. You're having fearful thoughts around aging creating these feelings. You don't like how they feel - but the human experience is having BOTH feelings you like and feelings you don't like. Having feelings you don't like simply means you're human - and you can take action - while you have those feelings.

You simply acknowledge the feeling - and go about your life knowing you're having a perfectly normal human experience. Nothing wrong.

You may want to remember that S = P x R

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

You're feeling the fear of aging (pain) and you're resisting it with everything you can. I don't want it. I want to get rid of it. Help me!

But when yo stop resisting it and just allow it - you may find that it dissipates over time.

Another way to think about it is that you're always driving the car. "Fear of aging" is sitting in the backseat, yelling at you. "You'll be old too soon" and "You'll never find a mate" and "You're dying every day!" ... and you can nod and acknowledge the wacko in your back seat ... but you're still the one driving the car. There's no reason to give over control of your vehicle to the wacky person in the back seat.

So again - don't try to get rid of it right now. Live with it. Love it. Accept it. Feel it. Stop fighting it. 

AND - simultaneously - go out and take massive action and live your life and create things with your life.

The voice may still be there - as may the feelings - but you'll take the force out of it all if you act in spite of what you feel.

There's nothing wrong with you. I spent last night with a table full of people all worried about the same thing. You're just resisting it because it feels bad - and, well, some feelings feel bad. Welcome home.