Am I totally insane?

[LaucherJunge]

Am I totally insane ? Have I watched too many hollywood movies as a child?
I am just crazy for love, I am probably worse than those women waiting all their life for the "white knight". I can't do anything about it I can't care for bitches honestly, even if they are a 10/10 I won't lose my virginity to that, not happening. I am so determined to go trough with this, I don't care if I die a virgin, I will be abstinent for the rest of my life from now on, unless she will suddenly appear someday.
I just can't fucking deal with the animal like nature of society, I can't take those bitches seriously.
I can't play those games they all want you to play, I can't be one of those hundreds of man she can choose from. 
One wrong move and I start ignoring them, I don't understand why I expect this perfection, I rationally can't get behind it why I act like that. Why I can't compete like any other man, I am just a crazy dude in a crazy society.
This is the only desire I have, I don't care about anything else. I would give my life for 1 day of true love.

Edited December 11, 2017 by LaucherJunge

[Spiral]

@LaucherJunge Are you saying you won't go for 10/10 aka a flawless girl if you get the chance? Or are you just saying you're picky? Nothing wrong with being abstinent but, you're not going to find the perfect girl and that's coming from me and I have ridiculous expectations.Either way it's fine just live your life until the feels hit you, then you feel differently and things resolve themselves.

[LaucherJunge]

@Spiral I know it's crazy but I wouldn't only if she is not like the others. But the expectation I have for looks is just about 7 or maybe even 6 if she really is a decent human being. The problem is really the expectation of "just you and me".

Thank you for the response.

[Spiral]

@LaucherJunge So you mean a girl who wants to have a actual relationship? That's not that rare dude... sure lot's just wants to sleep around but it's all about where you look for them. Nightclubs and tinder is kinda a waste of time in this regard.

[LaucherJunge]

@Spiral That is not the actual problem with that, it is my expectations in regards to contact to others. I don't have any female friends and don't just flirt around with random people. I expect the same, if a guy tries to flirt with her touch her I would expect her to defend herself. The thing is most of those girls that seem decent have very weak boundries in  regards to such aggressive flirts, atleast that was my experience so far. When they talk to such guys more than with me because they provoke them "are playful" I totally lose interest.

[Shin]

From experience, you just have to lower your standard and get a girlfriend, and have sex, lots of sex.

The problem is that you put women on a pedestal.

You think you don't and just want a real girl, not "bitches", but in reality you lack understanding of the opposite sex, both practical and conceptual.

Women DO NOT think and act the same way as men, there is deep psychological differences there, and this can't just be understood intellectually, you have to practically experience it with women.

If you don't, then you resent the opposite sex just like you do, lying to yourself about it, because that's too much of a blindspot to uncover.

Edited December 11, 2017 by Shin

[LaucherJunge]

@Shin That is exactly what I am resisting. I don't want to have sex just because then I am able to find a girl. I resist the "truth" of how women are, because if it really is so, I would rather stay alone forever. I don't understand why women don't want true love at all, after all they are more emotional than most guys, apart from me though, why would they always fall for the guys who see them as a toy? I recommend the book cupids poisoned arrow. Sex with orgasm will drive you away from your partner, it is a backstep for true love.

Edited December 12, 2017 by LaucherJunge

[pluto]

Be true to yourself and you do you, forget about all of this and just immerse yourself in becoming your greatest most authentic version of self, get into meditation, spend A LOT of time in nature, do things that put you in a state of highest Joy and follow that passion. Eventually when you become who you truly are you will attract what you truly need for the next step in growth and expansion. Focus on self, Everything else takes care of itself.

All the best

[LaucherJunge]

@pluto Thank you, you are right. It is soo much work to do still, I have been meditating for 3-5 hours a day for the past 2 months and so much stuff happened, the growth is crazy but of course it brings those issues that were hidden to the surface at the same time.

[Barbarian Number 8]

@LaucherJunge

Like attracts like.

If you aim for a perfect nonhuman, then you too need to be one. Do you have antennas?

btw, everyone is animal. We just wear different masks. Some more transperant than others.

Notice how easy it comes off when you bump your tinytoe in a tableleg. The faces made then are quite funny and animalistic

 

Did you know that we are influensed/programmed by Disney lovestories? Well atleast the one with the Prince and Princess...yet their kingdom is full with other people..... .

Maybe you should stop looking for a fictional Disney-Princess and rather go for the one who actually fits you?

Another thing to consider is the actual value of your virginity? Who told you it was valuable?

 

"true love"...did you watch "Beuty and the Beast"? ......

Something that I´ve learned is that many "musts and shoulds and oughts" did not come from me but rather from socialprogramming.

The question that then comes is: Whos life do you want to live?-Yours?..or.....?

 

If you watch Leos clips, sooner or later you will get a wtf-awakening....and then you watch them again and actually get more out of them. They got layers....I´ve watched alot of them several times and each time got something new out of them that I missed, it was right there but I did not see it. Beacuse I did not have the tools at the time. Very interesting feeling and development.

Maybe you are missing something in your current way of viewing the world and girls?

.....Happy growing!

 

[solr]

I advice you to begin looking at women ("Bitches" :p) in a different way. Read some books on the opposite sex and building relationships. Get out in the field and talk to women without "finding the one" on your mind. It happens when it happens. Women and men are different. As a woman (bitch?) I can tell you don't hold much knowledge about female psychology. What you're writing is based on your judgements of an extremely small percentage of women on planet earth.

With metta.

Edited January 17, 2018 by solr

[Hintersfjall]

39 minutes ago, solr said:

Get out in the field and talk to women without "finding the one" on your mind.

This, without a doubt. You have no experience with women. I thought not falling in love after having sex with someone was easy, and people were just too emotionally weak. Then I had sex and fell madly infatuated with the girl I lost my virginity too. I thought I knew everything there was about having a good relationship. Then my girlfriend left me because I was needy and desperate. I thought my game was good because I had sex with over ten women. Then I tried sober cold approach pickup and my balls receded while I stood in the corner of a club. You're armchair theorizing rather than getting off your ass and getting some actual practice.

My advice is to make it your intention spend an hour each day for a week with some guys from your cities RSD Inner Circle (just look on facebook, "New York Inner Circle RSD). Don't expect to do anything other than saying hello to a girl for the first couple days. Just get out there and approach someone. Even if you're just asking for the time. Even if you're just saying, "I like your shoes," and walking away. Even if it's an old lady or hell, an old man. Just get out there. That'll get you well enough past the approach anxiety hump that you can start doing it on your own and less often, while still taking consistent action. Go out to clubs on the weekend. Have no other intention besides approaching and staying in for longer and longer. Once you're better at that, making your intention to have fun. 

In summary, get experience. Once you have more of it under your belt you'll have a better pool of references from which you draw when creating theories about the world and what you want from it. 

[Shir]

@LaucherJunge Hey there ! I just wanted to say that I don't think you're insane at all, I think you have fairy tale standards that sadly I have as well lol, in this society in this given age in time. If it means absolutely anything to you, you're not alone. I wouldn't say I'm the "female version" to your situation or question but rather a different version of it, per se.

For example, I'm 25 and a virgin (literally never had sex, not been kissed or even asked out, nor held hands with a guy and sadly no one seems to bother with me in my day to day life no matter the many efforts I try and take). To make matters "worse", I feel like I could never have sex with anyone unless they're the love of my life and as time has gone by, I made it even more "strict" by "saying" that not only would they have to be the love of my life but that I want to save sex for marriage. I'm not even religious !!! (just spiritual). As you can imagine, probably any sane guy who isn't religious doesn't "want" this type of commitment and the religious men wouldn't want me as I'm not religious. So, I'm stuck. Believe me this has caused a lot of anguish and fueled my depression pretty much easily. So for me it's depression and for you it's "feeling insane". 

But, I'm just saying all this as a possible close-but-not female version to your situation...I hope it helps in any way possible. 

[LaucherJunge]

On 17.1.2018 at 7:48 AM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

@LaucherJunge

Like attracts like.

Then I should be able to attract the one I am looking for who is exactly as crazy as me.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:48 AM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

btw, everyone is animal.

Depends what you define as animal. I mostly see unconscious behaviour as animal. biologically speaking, you are correct of course.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:48 AM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

Maybe you should stop looking for a fictional Disney-Princess and rather go for the one who actually fits you?

In my opinion that is exactly what I am doing. As I said I don't have expectations like she has to be a 10 out of 10 or something like that. Also I am fine with many many things, which most other people would consider character flaws, apart from the animalistic way of mating mentioned above of course.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:48 AM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

Another thing to consider is the actual value of your virginity? Who told you it was valuable?

Well, things have the value you give to them. Nothing really has value in of itself, we give the value ourselves and virginity is a major sign for me that the person is exactly who I am looking for.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:48 AM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

.....Happy growing!

Thank you for your comment. 

On 17.1.2018 at 7:31 PM, solr said:

I advice you to begin looking at women ("Bitches" :p) in a different way.

I don't see women as bitches, I see bitches as bitches.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:31 PM, solr said:

Read some books on the opposite sex and building relationships.

Reading the book "Cupids Poisoned Arrow" made me recognize the difference between me and other in the mating behaviour in the first place.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:31 PM, solr said:

Get out in the field and talk to women without "finding the one" on your mind.

That is exactly my issue, I am not the type of guy to do this and honestly I don't want to be, I never wanted to be.

On 17.1.2018 at 7:31 PM, solr said:

With metta.

Thank you for your advice.

On 17.1.2018 at 8:17 PM, Hintersfjall said:

That'll get you well enough past the approach anxiety hump that you can start doing it on your own and less often, while still taking consistent action. Go out to clubs on the weekend.

I doubt that I have any approach anxiety, that is really not the problem I have.
I am not going to find the type of women I am looking for in clubs, this is for sure.

On 17.1.2018 at 8:17 PM, Hintersfjall said:

I thought not falling in love after having sex with someone was easy, and people were just too emotionally weak. Then I had sex and fell madly infatuated with the girl I lost my virginity too.

This is most likely not true love what you are talking about, it is just the chemistry in your body, I am talking about something different here.
I actually fell in love with many even bitchy girls in this shallow way you probably talk about here, but I know that it is just fantasy, true love is simply true and not a fantasy you make up in your mind because of your body chemistry.

On 17.1.2018 at 8:17 PM, Hintersfjall said:

In summary, get experience. Once you have more of it under your belt you'll have a better pool of references from which you draw when creating theories about the world and what you want from it. 

True love is exactly what I want from the world, I have 0 value for shallow love and sex with such.
Thank you for your practical advice though.

4 hours ago, Shir said:

But, I'm just saying all this as a possible close-but-not female version to your situation...I hope it helps in any way possible. 

Thank you, good to hear that there are still decent women out there.
 

[SFRL]

On 12/11/2017 at 5:10 PM, LaucherJunge said:

Am I totally insane ? Have I watched too many hollywood movies as a child?
I am just crazy for love, I am probably worse than those women waiting all their life for the "white knight". I can't do anything about it I can't care for bitches honestly, even if they are a 10/10 I won't lose my virginity to that, not happening. I am so determined to go trough with this, I don't care if I die a virgin, I will be abstinent for the rest of my life from now on, unless she will suddenly appear someday.
I just can't fucking deal with the animal like nature of society, I can't take those bitches seriously.
I can't play those games they all want you to play, I can't be one of those hundreds of man she can choose from. 
One wrong move and I start ignoring them, I don't understand why I expect this perfection, I rationally can't get behind it why I act like that. Why I can't compete like any other man, I am just a crazy dude in a crazy society.
This is the only desire I have, I don't care about anything else. I would give my life for 1 day of true love.

There are two problems with your reasoning. 

1. If you hold out now and gain no experience, by the time that perfect girl comes along you won't be able attract her and/or keep her. 

2. You shouldn't be 1 of the 100 guys she picks from. She should be 1 of the 100 girls you pick from. You need to have an abundance mindset. Which you can only get by creating abundance. 

So how are you going to create abundance? 

Edited January 23, 2018 by SFRL

[LaucherJunge]

2 hours ago, SFRL said:

1. If you hold out now and gain no experience, by the time that perfect girl comes along you won't be able attract her and/or keep her. 

I don't see it like that. If I need any kind of manipulation/tricks in order to keep her instead of being authentic then I wouldn't want to keep her in the first place.

2 hours ago, SFRL said:

2. You shouldn't be 1 of the 100 guys she picks from. She should be 1 of the 100 girls you pick from. You need to have an abundance mindset. Which you can only creating abundance. 

So how are you going to create abundance? 

That's a good one, thank you. Yeah I should create more abundance, I already started this a few weeks ago by deepening my self-love.

[SFRL]

7 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

I don't see it like that. If I need any kind of manipulation/tricks in order to keep her instead of being authentic then I wouldn't want to keep her in the first place.

You are not getting it. You gaining experience doesn't mean manipulating and using tricks. It means gaining experience. 

There is nothing authentic about being inexperienced with girls. Because deep down you want to have a girl. 

9 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

That's a good one, thank you. Yeah I should create more abundance, I already started this a few weeks ago by deepening my self-love.

Self-love has nothing to do with abundance on this virgin level. What you need is several girls to talk to, and peak the interest of several girls. 

At your school/college are there a few girls who seem even slightly interested in you? Regardless if you think they are your 'perfect dream girl'. That is a good start. 

 

[LaucherJunge]

2 hours ago, SFRL said:

You are not getting it. You gaining experience doesn't mean manipulating and using tricks. It means gaining experience. 

There is nothing authentic about being inexperienced with girls. Because deep down you want to have a girl. 

There is nothing authentic about being experienced with girls.
I don't see the value of this kind of experience, other then for making prey on the type of girls I never wanted to be with.
I also don't understand where everyone is going with the experience thing?? I am talking about love, I am not talking about pick up. This has never been the problem for me that I lacked experience, the problem has been that I don't agree with societies ways of "love" if that means I am not going to get laid, couldn't care less, I was looking for love in the first place, not for a toy.

2 hours ago, SFRL said:

Self-love has nothing to do with abundance on this virgin level.

Self-love is the only thing that can create real love. Abundance of self-love automatically radiates.

2 hours ago, SFRL said:

At your school/college are there a few girls who seem even slightly interested in you? Regardless if you think they are your 'perfect dream girl'. That is a good start. 

Well, I am in a gap time at the moment, maybe in future in the university, that is what I put my hopes to anyway, because I suspect there might be more decent girls.

 

[SFRL]

@LaucherJunge we will see how this works out for you then I guess. 

[Robert]

@LaucherJunge Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you can't find the love of your life. You can. You just have to desire it strongly enough and you have to take the right actions in order to make it happen. A lot of people try to say that it's not possible to get what you truly want, or they say you have to settle for less or do pickup or something lame like that. But these people are just spreading around false information. Ignore these people and go find the girl you want. It is possible. You are not insane at all!