Ways to improve social skills and decrease discomfort.

[Max_V]

Other than going to school and certain gatherings to meet new people, what is a good list of things one can do to improve their social skills and decrease the contraction that is felt in the body and mind when there is a social situation at hand.

I am trying the 'Always talk to people when the opportunity presents itself" strategy but with this ingrained fear I have, I cannot always bring myself to do it. There is just too much resistance and fear that arises.

I've already worked a ton on this problem with a psychologist and shadow work but it seems I've hit a wall.

And also: I have been going out my comfort zone every day as practice. Going to school, talking to people I do not know, talking to girls. Will my social skills decrease if I have less social interactions for a week?

Edited December 11, 2017 by Max_V

[Spiral]

Work on your self-worth and confidence outside of social interaction. 

[BobbyLowell]

STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU THIS MEANS YOU NO LONGER CARE IF YOU ARE PERceived as awkward but you are now real so things really can't be awkward. Both people have to feel awkwardness for it to exist tbh.

[Max_V]

@BobbyLowell Ye I've learned my lesson with trying to be perfectionistic in the sense of what girls -specifically- think of me. Just letting loose, not caring and being authentic is what feels best to me and also what causes most attraction. 

[BjarkeT]

Fully feel every single emotions(leo have a video called how to deal with strong negative emotions about it) it might help to overcome fear

(i also recommend watch how to permanent solve problems)

maybe if possible try to read about deliberate pratice and try to apply it for this goal

I also recomend reading about delaying gratification it don't look like you have a problem with it but it might be interesting

what is shadow work?

Edited December 11, 2017 by BjarkeT

[Max_V]

@BjarkeT I have been integrating @Martin123 's shadow guide into my commonplace book so that I can practice it and embody it. I feel like this could help a lot with releasing these emotions that are stuck in my body, there is this intuition haha.

Thanks for your advice. I will check 'how to permanently solve problems' as I have watched the negative emotions one multiple times  

 

Edited December 11, 2017 by Max_V

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, BjarkeT said:

Fully feel every single emotions(leo have a video called how to deal with strong negative emotions about it) it might help to overcome fear

(i also recommend watch how to permanent solve problems)

maybe if possible try to read about deliberate pratice and try to apply it for this goal

Yeah pretty much this.

It's all ego based, you just have to keep practising and being conscious of your insecurities, it will sort it out by itself.

Let yourself be so vulnerable that you become invulnerable, counter-intuitive as fuck but it works lol

Edited December 11, 2017 by Shin

[Max_V]

@Shin I've been trying to become mindful 24/7 so fully feeling emotions will be something that I'm going to practice day to day. It's amazing how much 'Awareness alone is curative' works.

Thanks for the advice!

[BobbyLowell]

@Max_V YAS?

[Max_V]

@BjarkeT Alright. I don't know if I know the perfect definition for this but I will give my best shot.

As I understand now, shadow work is the unraveling of one's underlying problems and limiting beliefs that hold you back in life. It's basically taking a look at your 'shadow' and healing it.

[YaNanNallari]

It's so much easier when you're doing it from an authentic source. I couldn't be fucking bothered to talk to random normies like wat. But if that's my job etc and that jobs a part of what's happening and my purpose, then sure I'd love to do it. Even if there's fear, it's just there. It's nothing personal.

Your social skills might decrease slightly, but it's like minor stuff. You might not know the hottest things right now, but the basics you need are definitely there.

Edited December 11, 2017 by YaNanNallari