My one with everyone experience

[Matiyos]

Hey, 

I'd like to describe to you recent experience I had and at the same time ask for a guidance.

So I was very often wondering about the whole notion of being everything / nothing. Long time ago have I realized I am not my body, as I started meditating more often and contemplating this stuff I also started realizing I am not my mind or thoughts. But when I listened to Leo or anyone else say that we are everything / nothing there was one thing that was holding me back from fully giving into this notion, and that was a question I kept asking myself - "if that's really the case, why am I perceiving reality from perspective of this body?". It was really hard for me to get over this. 

But two days ago something kinda clicked in my head and I thought to myself, it's true that I am perceiving life/reality from perspective of this body, but I also perceive it from every other perspective possible, I just cannot access all of those perspectives at once, I just perceive them each in it's seperate body and in a way I for the first time realized how it might be true that I am in fact everyone. What I mean by what I just wrote is that, obviously there are different physical bodies and different people, but when we strip our core self from body and then from mind and thoughts, then what is left is that consciousness that is universall for every physical body and mind and that in fact thats exactly what I am, and if in fact it's universall for everyone then it means "I" am everybody. As you propably might know from your own experience it's often hard to put realizations like those into words but I hope it's more or less understandable. 

Okay, so now I'm getting closer to the core of this post and I will give you example which might also make what I wrote more clear. During this realization, I started thinking of everone on this planet as of "me". Like if at that moment I walked out of the door and greeted my neighbour I would really feel like I was greeting myself, as if entire world was just one big interaction of me with myself under different disguises. And then I thought of my girlfriend, who suffers from clinicly diagnosed depression, and I recalled many things she told me about how she feels terrible sometimes and how she doesn't want to live. I obviously always felt very bad about it but in that moment, I realized it was also really my suffering. I literally started crying because I felt like I could feel her depression and her suffering, but I wasn't crying out of misery of what it might feel like to have depression, i was crying out of what felt like infinite compassion I started feeling towards others. And then I had another realization, that I cannot be truly happy as long as there is suffering in this world and that it obviously must be my highest goal to help other people, there is no other way around. Right now when I think about it, even though I was very sad during that experience I find it as something great and I'm glad it happened to me.

And now that I explained more or less what the experience was about I will try to explain what kind of guidance I'm looking for and what are my thoughts about all of it. Obviously, I'm not feeling the way I felt then all the time, but when I focus I can kinda get into that state of mind of infinite compassion again. But even though I don't feel like this all the time it's still clear in my head I have to be helping other people to make them suffer less. But now here I start to wonder, if I were to get into state of mind where I cannot be happy when other people suffer then obviously I will never be happy because there will always be other people suffering. I also recalled Leo saying that there is no "bad" things and that everything what is, must be the way it is, in other words just to accept what is and not fight with it. So now I am kind of split apart, should I let that experience lead me into this "helper to everyone" attitude or can it be just a superficially deep distraction from what I really should be after. Or maybe it's just one of many other signs to come that I am on the right path and I should be glad that it happened but not fully give into it? I am very confused about, and I know it's not necessarly a bad thing to be confused but I don't want to waste my life, time and energy into something that might be potentially a dead end.

If you're still reading I'm thankfull that you've come this far and if there are any advices or comments that come to your mind I'd be very happy to read them  

[YaNanNallari]

Personally although I'm at quite start with self-inquiry stuff although I feel like I have a pretty good handle on the "enlightenment exercises" list. Even though I see myself to be connected to everything I see and feel, I still avoid making a belief of "I'm everyone" or anything really. It seems limiting and I rather experience and understand it through the real deal since it can't be narrowed down to a concept. Of course you can contemplate what it means if you're the whole world though, but remember it's an idea of it.

One thing you could try to realize has to do with materialism and that you and other people are ideas. 

1 hour ago, Matiyos said:

when I focus I can kinda get into that state of mind of infinite compassion again

It might be a good state, but just be careful with attachments around it.

Also your body will definitely be able to see things as beautiful and be happy enough all the time once enlightened, so I wouldn't worry about that. You can feel quite good while wanting to help others.

Although helping others is a good way to learn that being selfless is a nice idea, you also want to avoid doing "selfless" things in order to selfishly avoid your fears, responsibility or dangers. Just saying. I personally have it as something that comes naturally and if I feel self-centered I aim to question that.