Losing Hair. One Of My Biggest Problems.

[Guest]

Hey guys. I would love to talk about this topic because it messes with my mind for over a year already. I am 26 years old, skinny dude and I realized that over the last 2 years my hair on the upper part of my head was getting thinner. It is genetical/male type of hair loss. I know about the possibilities like taking pills or putting substances on your head that include minoxidil. I decided not to do it. I tried the minoxidil stuff but I wasn't patient enough. Still I am struggling with accepting my fate. Comparison is a mighty enemy sometimes. Can't remember that anyone in my family ever had serious problems with hair loss. I am overreacting because it started so early. It makes me sad that nearly all my friends have better hair. I know that life is more than just superficial stuff like that. I should appreciate what I have. I mean, when I get a fresh haircut my hair looks decent.  But I just had to talk about it because I kept it inside of me for such a long time. And I would love to hear some feedback from you^^  

[vizual]

Most guys are going to lose hair one day in their life, some guys sooner than others. I know dudes who start going bald in their teens, they shaved it all, accepted it, and moved on.

If you base your self-worth on the amount of hair on your head you are going to run into serious self-worth struggles in life, regardless how much hair you have. I'd say this is a good opportunity for you to look into loving yourself regardless the circumstances life throws at you. If you need to pop pills and use substances to feel secure about yourself you're going to be in trouble.

Everyone will have issues with aging. For you it might be the hair, for someone else it might be wrinkles, greying hair, cellulitis, weight gain, whatever. It's not the hair that is the root issue of the problem, it's how you approach it. If you are capable of just loving that shit regardless, everyone else will as well. If you make an enemy out of it, you will see a demon behind every tree, even if you could somehow stop or reduce the hair loss. That's just how it goes.

[FindingPeace]

Join the club! It's a fact of life for many of us guys. My hair's thinning right on top, there's even a bald spot developing. Sure it makes you feel self aware at first, especially when people comment on it. I had this especially with my fringe which has mostly dissapeared now but I spent years trying to deny it to myself, constantly trying to comb it over.

I don't worry about it anymore though. So what if I'm losing my hair? Me and everyone else out there. It's a fact of life. I learned to accept that it's just the way my body is, the way it's becomming.

It's human nature to deny reality and to try and pretend that it isn't what it is. To try and change it to suit our needs. But reality is what it is. In fact constantly trying to fight reality just causes chronic stress and suffering.

Once you let go and accept reality and stare it in the face you find you no longer suffer, no longer feel concerned about it. This goes for everything in life, not just hair. Just accept it, embrace it. Be ok with it. If/when someone comments, shrugg it off. Smile, nod, laugh, agree with them. Whatever. Don't deny it, don't try to hide from it. Just be with it, as it is.

Edit to add:

Our bodies will change during the course of our lives. Not always in ways we like or want. But it's nature taking it's course just as it is supposed to do. Putting up resistance will only cause you suffering. Stepping back and being ok with it will not. Sounds hard to believe but have faith. Anyway, beauty is only skin deep as they say.

Edited February 25, 2016 by FindingPeace

[Guest]

Thank you, guys! Really appreciate it. I will do my best to accept this little thing and love myself for what I am.

[asgard94]

I am also suspecting that the same might happen to me at 26+above. I am already thinking of how to deal with that, 6 years behind! But I've seen many 'bald' guys having awesome lives. So it is not the hair but your mind that creates all reality around you.. If you manage to accept it and feel great about yourself, nothing will ever go wrong with this. Besides, I think I'd be much better off without hair on the top. It is very tiring to take care of it. Worrying about stupid hair styles and crap like that. . .

[FindingPeace]

10 minutes ago, asgard94 said:

Worrying about stupid hair styles and crap like that. . .

I hear you! Plus it gets hot, sweaty and greasy in warm weather, especially if you let it grow quite a bit before having it cut. I do like the free and easy feel of the breeze through after it's cut.. Only thing I will say, it does keep the sun of your head. So extra sun block required once it's gone

[asgard94]

5 minutes ago, FindingPeace said:

I hear you! Plus it gets hot, sweaty and greasy in warm weather, especially if you let it grow quite a bit before having it cut. I do like the free and easy feel of the breeze through after it's cut.. Only thing I will say, it does keep the sun of your head. So extra sun block required once it's gone

Now all we gotta argue about is which hat is better. Perfect! We got a wide range of hat choices in this Capitalistic world. That's when Capitalism comes in handy, i suppose. . . 

[FindingPeace]

Hats? Good grief..

What about a 'hair tattoo'?

[Bas]

I started balding when I was 20 years old, I used to have a huge bunch of curly hair. I know what you're going through . Just shave it all off, I keep the length at around 2-3 mm and grow a bit of a short beard or something.

There is more attention on the face, work out a bit and man.. it makes you look super sexy. Girls don't mind guys who are balding, if that's something you're worried about. However women will mind when you are trying to hide your baldness (hair tattoo... holy fuck, if you want to stay alone for ever then that's the solution haha). Wear your baldness with pride! Girls often dig it, makes you look wise (like Leo!) .

 

edit: Oh and don't forget you can just trim your hair yourself, you'll save a lot on getting haircuts. The first time go to a hairdresser and ask for a bit of advice. You might not want to go all shiny bald at once. It feels great, you'll become like an airbender .

Edited February 25, 2016 by Bas

[Frankie]

@wasabelll I'm also in the club. I'm a bit older (36) and have long hair (even some girls get envy ). But I've lost already a huge amount of hair in the last years and it still continues. It's a slow process so I can adapt my self-perception to it which makes it currently no big thing.

Already before I started with meditation and the spiritual path I've simply modified the sentence from "Fight Club" which goes like this:

Quote

You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. [...]

My addition: "You are not the hair that you've got".

So everything is fine.

[Dhana Choko]

Many guys look great without hair. But I know it does not help if you have fears.

You can ponder what part of you is afraid of losing hair and what you think is your worst fear about this issue. What do you think will happen if you lose your hair completely? What will you think of yourself and what do you think other people will think about you?

[Guest]

@Dhana Choko

I usually think that I would look bad with no hair. I once said to myself that I will never ever shave my hair completely because I didn't look that good when I did it in the past. Now I really have to consider it someday when I lose even more hair. I am skinny. It doesn't look that healthy on me. That's why one of my biggest motivations is to gain weight. But it is really tough with my metabolism. Heard some people in the past telling me that shaving my hair doesn't really look good on me. So that gave me a warning. My fear is that people will look at me in a weird way. Maybe I will not like the way I look. Even when I know that I have to love myself the way I am or will be. But sometimes it is hard to keep this mindset. I sometimes think about Jason Statham as my future role model Just have to focus on muscles and gaining weight.

[Dhana Choko]

@wasabelllSo what happens if you would be what you consider, ugly or unattractive?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Dhana Choko said:

@wasabelllSo what happens if you would be what you consider, ugly or unattractive?

In my immature state right now, I would consider myself ugly and unattractive if I were bald. Though I am not an ugly person right now. It is rather the psychological stuff that didn't always work the right way in my life. So the positive feedback from you was a nice thing^^

[Dhana Choko]

32 minutes ago, wasabelll said:

In my immature state right now, I would consider myself ugly and unattractive if I were bald. Though I am not an ugly person right now. It is rather the psychological stuff that didn't always work the right way in my life. So the positive feedback from you was a nice thing^^

Yes, but what would happen if you were ugly and unattractive?

 

[Guest]

People might not think of me as an attractive person anymore. Maybe if I ever find myself in a position looking for a girlfriend I would get negative feedback. It is not really how I see myself but how people might see me. Because I am okay with it. I like short hair. I have some problems with my hair like dandruff and  itchy skin. If I cut my hair all these problems are gone, I experienced that in the past. But I am afraid of the feedback someday.

[Dhana Choko]

So you currently think that you might not get the things that you want (admiration, having a girlfriend) etc. if you have different kind of hair. Have you previously in your life had these things, like admiration from other people, friends, girlfriend etc. because of your hair?

 

[Ken Lecoq]

@wasabelll Look at Leo Gura for example, he is bald and looks attractive.

Attractiveness isn't all about physical appearance, there is much more to it. 

Accept the way you are and love yourself.

Edited February 25, 2016 by Ken Lecoq

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, Dhana Choko said:

So you currently think that you might not get the things that you want (admiration, having a girlfriend) etc. if you have different kind of hair. Have you previously in your life had these things, like admiration from other people, friends, girlfriend etc. because of your hair?

 

Not as much as I was hoping. I get your point^^ Shouldn't focus on such small things.  This whole mindset of mine is a freakin illusion that didn't get me anywhere where I wanted to be. I have to realize what really matters. Accept what I have to and change what I can and REALLY want.

[Mohsinuddin]

@wasabelll Best thing you can do is STOP using excessive chemical shampoo and other stuff and ,STOP stressing.