A Vent of Victim Thinking Towards Life Purpose; Let Me Have That Brutal Constructive Criticism

[kieranperez]

Please leave feedback so it doesn't really just serve me but other people that may be struggling with the following limiting thought patterns! 

Some of my limiting thoughts and victim thinking, excuses, etc. towards pursuing my Life Purpose... 

• I have $1.62 in my bank account and no college degree nor any practical work skill sets and still live with Dad who pays for me for everything and is a toxic person to live with. 
• I can't get a job at all to make any money to help fund my Life Purpose and even when I do get that low-end job, I get so depressed and miserable with myself for feeling like a loser because I can't get a better job.
• I didn't go to college (I'm 22 1/2 years-old)
• I'm horrible with money
• I don't know what I want
• I live in a fog
• I can't concentrate at all
• I don't know what I'm passionate about anymore. All that I thought I was passionate about is slipping away from my interests and now I don't really have anything else.
• I can't work towards a Life Purpose if I don't know what I'm authentically passionate about anymore
• I don't get along with people
• I just want to be alone
• I don't want to work with anyone. I always get into problems with people. I don't get along with people. 
• I'm no business guy
• Being ambitious to make it in business has never been something that entered my mind. I've always been an athlete and had ambition towards that. Not business... I'm not motivated by business.
• I don't know who I am anymore
• I don't fucking care/Fuck this
• I sabotage everything I do
• Stop doing nothing!
• I can't keep living like this!
• Do something already! 
• I'll fucking show them!
• I'm a failure
• I don't know what to do
• I just can't work on a Life Purpose right now.. I need to leave here but I don't have the money either... I'm fucking stuck!
• I'm wasting my goddamn time
• This is just a distraction from just making money to move out
• This is a luxury for me right now
• Where the hell did I go wrong?!
• I didn't ask for this!
• There's nothing to fucking do
• What the fuck am I doing with my life?!
• I'm a man-child
• I'm a fucking loser
• I feel so much less than everybody else whose actually accomplishing things
• This is embarrassing...

I have a feeling this thread could really help some people out.

Edited December 10, 2017 by kieranperez
Left a crucial point out

[BjarkeT]

There is self education a lot of free stuff to learn from(a website called khan academy is a good place to start otherwise it shouldn't be difficult to find a website to learn the topic you chose)

concentration is a skill you can get better at(aka deep work)

for life purpose i recomed reading so good they can't ignore you

lots of leos videos should have some of the answers you are looking for maybe some books on the book list will help too

the road less traveled by scott m peck(one of the things he talks about is that we should take responsibility for our problems it has a lot of useful information)

good luck  

Edited December 11, 2017 by BjarkeT

[ProblemSolving]

On 09/12/2017 at 4:51 PM, kieranperez said:

Please leave feedback so it doesn't really just serve me but other people that may be struggling with the following limiting thought patterns! 

Some of my limiting thoughts and victim thinking, excuses, etc. towards pursuing my Life Purpose... 

• I have $1.62 in my bank account and no college degree nor any practical work skill sets and still live with Dad who pays for me for everything and is a toxic person to live with. What is doesnt have to be in the future.
• I can't get a job at all to make any money to help fund my Life Purpose and even when I do get that low-end job, I get so depressed and miserable with myself for feeling like a loser because I can't get a better job. When you never start you can never expect to finish.
• I didn't go to college (I'm 22 1/2 years-old) But you have life experience and a lot of your life still in front of you.
• I'm horrible with money Well good that you dont have any, at the moment
• I don't know what I want You probably know what you dont want? Maybe that can help you find your way.
• I live in a fog Get out there. Or enjoy it.
• I can't concentrate at all Worry about only a few things at the same time or you will get lost.
• I don't know what I'm passionate about anymore. All that I thought I was passionate about is slipping away from my interests and now I don't really have anything else. Think a lot about yourself and realize what makes you happy or what affinities you might have.
• I can't work towards a Life Purpose if I don't know what I'm authentically passionate about anymore. One step at a time.
• I don't get along with people. The biggest enemy is within you. Get used to them and suddenly they are ok.
• I just want to be alone Quality time alone is important, I think.
• I don't want to work with anyone. I always get into problems with people. I don't get along with people. Teamwork is a quality worth learning. 
• I'm no business guy And I am no woman. Doesnt mean that I will never be one.
• Being ambitious to make it in business has never been something that entered my mind. I've always been an athlete and had ambition towards that. Not business... I'm not motivated by business. Sounds like you already know what you might desire in life.
• I don't know who I am anymore Theres no I, so thats kind of a good sign.
• I don't fucking care/Fuck this Its ok to be emotional and have weak moments. Catharsis might be near.
• I sabotage everything I do As long as you dont sabotage your breathing. Its ok to make mistakes all the time.
• Stop doing nothing! The word nothing is extremely relative. Its basically everything and nothing at the same time.
• I can't keep living like this! So I guess that change is inevitable
• Do something already! Only when the choice has been truly made
• I'll fucking show them! Theres no comparison with other people. Its just you now against you yesterday.
• I'm a failure  “The Man who says he can, and the man who says he can not.. Are both correct”― Confucius
• I don't know what to do Suffer till you decide not to suffer anymore.
• I just can't work on a Life Purpose right now.. I need to leave here but I don't have the money either... I'm fucking stuck! Limit is illusion.
• I'm wasting my goddamn time When you decide so, yes.
• This is just a distraction from just making money to move out If moving out is your desire, then yes, its a distraction.
• This is a luxury for me right now Its all relative.
• Where the hell did I go wrong?! Everyone went wrong at some point in their life.
• I didn't ask for this! Grow a pair. Or calm down. Focus.
• There's nothing to fucking do Theres always something to do. Thats the thing with life on this planet. You can do infinite amount of stuff.
• What the fuck am I doing with my life?! You are thinking about it.
• I'm a man-child I think its important to keep the inner child for the rest of your life without forgetting the responsibilities, obviously.
• I'm a fucking loser Too many people said or thought that and were able to go in with life.
• I feel so much less than everybody else whose actually accomplishing things Only compare yourself with yourself. 
• This is embarrassing... Then do it a few more times until its not embarrassing.

I have a feeling this thread could really help some people out.

 

[kieranperez]

@ProblemSolving thank you  

[Helios]

I don't want to sound condescending or something, but it seems to me that right now your problem is not really money. I feel that your problem right now is more about managing bad emotions so I would focus on that. 

[Nahm]

@kieranperez Not sure if this is brutal but I hopes it’s constructive. Sounds like you are a diamond in a rough environment. You’re ‘getting out’ by raising your consciousness already. Just by being here, and being so open and honest in your communicating about it. Get the best job you can. Do your absolute best at that job. Know that the better you do, the more opportunities will come out of nowhere for you. I worked smart & hard in retail jobs that I didn’t love, but found ways to love, and thus improved my self. A guy quit at a store I worked at, and 2 years later he called me up asking if I would be interested in a new industry / position. Lead to the best career breakthrough I’ve had. Abe HIcks / LOA could be very helpful to you right now, IMO. It’s Uber positive, and helps you to grow a vision of how your efforts, in term of positive thinking and positive attitude, will unlock doors you didn’t even know about. 

A suggestion on an exercise....take a minute to write down everything good you’ve done, anything you have accomplished so far, things you’ve learned. That could help you to see you have overcome a lot already. You’ve made something of yourself already, and you’re continuing to look for growth. Most people would just sleep through life and be like those around them. You gotta feel good about waking up. Good for you man! Here’s something that might get your perspective changing....

http://www.financetwitter.com/2014/07/fifteen-successful-rich-and-famous-people-their-humble-first-jobs.html

https://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/celebrities-who-had-unbelievable-jobs-before-they-were-fa?utm_term=.leQA54eJ0#.syWEZ3N1Q

Obama’s first job, was serving ice cream, and he did alright. ?

Oprah worked at a grocery store.

After a paper route, my first job was receiving dirty stinky bottle returns at a bulk beverage store.  I loved it! I set up the bins and flipped that shit over my shoulders like I was Tom Cruise in cocktail. Perspective is everything! “So good they can’t ignore you”!

Find your life purpose and start employment, or start employment to get self supportive, then find your life purpose. Neither is right or wrong, and you don’t strike me as someone who will get ‘lost’ in the work world for the duration. I mean, you’re here- asking & seeking. That’s a big deal. 

[Joseph Maynor]

What is your daily meditation habit like?  You sound full of neurotic energy.  We gotta deal with that issue first.  Can you commit to a 1 hour meditation session every morning?  Do nothing meditation -- just be the Watcher.  

Remember -- life is counter-intuitive.  You need to just stop and relax and listen to your intuition in meditation for a while.  Stop running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  That might seem like it is helping you, but it's not.  You're just stressing yourself out more.  Meditate as much as possible right now.  Do it in bed if you have a hard time doing it sitting up.  Just do it.  You need to listen to the still, quiet voice inside of you that you can't hear very well yet.  Slow down, relax, and open up. Let the authentic self work on you for a while.

Edited December 14, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[smd]

@kieranperez Your Dad is supporting you. How about showing him some gratitude instead of being an asshole & calling him toxic?  If he was really bad, he'd make you get out & work for your share of the bills or boot you out of his house.  Find out what he wants & how you can make him less toxic.  Since he pays to keep you alive for nothing, he can't be that bad.  Next, you can scratch the first bullet point off your list.

A lot of answers revolve around meditation. Easy to do but nobody ever does it.

Are you getting enough sleep?  8 hours a day?     Based on your bullet point list, it seems you're hyper.  I can be like you are if I have a lack of sleep.  Try to slow everything down & focus on one thing per day at a time, to work on.

How's your diet?   Is it good?   I'd stay away from greasy foods & caffeine for a few weeks if possible.

[Source_Mystic]

@kieranperez I am not even going to start with what is wrong yet.  I want you to do a exercise.  I want you to go and look at your post and count all the  "I cant",  "I didn't" look at the wording look how utterly negative it is.  You have a toxic thinking problem my friend. Seriously look. I am not going to place the blame  completely on you.  You are rather young and I am sure your relationships upbringing and learned behaviors and environment contributed. 

You are now an adult It is time to grow up take a hard look at your life and fix this shit. I know that is what this post is about. The positive side your young and all this shit can be fixed.

Then I want you write a list of things you are good at and put them in a positive statement. Second , every-time you start negative internal dialog stop and reverse that ether tell your self something  good and positive or correct the negative behavior choose a different path than give your self a positive affirmation or statement that is base on the thing you corrected. 

• An example is you come home and you bedroom is trashed and you think "I am such a lazy fuck" recognize that as something you can change at that moment. Clean you room take a deep breath and say "This feels better I am getting organized and straightening out my life GOOD JOB" or if there is just a negative self talk At that moment focus positive affirmations that are opposite.

 

•  A good example is you see a girl that is attractive you instantly have a internal dialog  "she is out of my league ,  I am such a looser I could never get a girl like that"  Stop that and change it to "I am a confident good person and I am going to actively approach more woman"

Now why am I telling you this? This shit can not work! Yes it can and I will  tell you the method behind it the mind works on repetition. You push rules into your subconscious thought repetition and up to this point all that negative self talk is telling you subconscious  all that shit is true. Your subconscious is where you make actual decisions from. You conscious  mind just makes up the story's that make it make sense and gives it  illusion that you make your decisions from there.  Here is the trick to changing habits. Repetition pushes  rules and habits into your subconscious.  

I would suggest you get some mala beads and use them for positive affirmations. You can use them when waiting for a prescription or anytime you are waiting and it just is a really efficient way to get these Repetitions into your life. The trick here is it has to be positive like you would not say   "I want to stop being anxious"  You would say "I am calm and tranquil" always make it positive solution based statement.  

So here is my suggestion.  first analyze habits.    Your day , how do you spend your time.  I want you to make a list of activity's and what they do for you both good and bad.  Be brutally honest with yourself. Why are you doing the activity. what are the up sides what are the down sides how much time does it consume. 

I use to play video games as a distraction it also gave me a more aggressive attitude in general. The positive was it engaged my mind strategically. I stopped  playing video games. because their was that negative aspect of a distraction and aggression as well as it gave me no real pay off. I have switched to several other activity's that give me all the pros and none of the cons. 

Same things with friends how much time do they consume do you feel uplifted after you spend time with them or drained. If someone is draining you and you can eliminate time with them then  do that. If they are completely toxic try to eliminate spending time  at all or to a minimum.

lets  start with that.

 

Explore more,  get out of the house , take walks , read more , anything that interest you explore that.

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2017 by Source_Mystic

[kieranperez]

3 hours ago, Source_Mystic said:

@kieranperez I am not even going to start with what is wrong yet.  I want you to do a exercise.  I want you to go and look at your post and count all the  "I cant",  "I didn't" look at the wording look how utterly negative it is.  You have a toxic thinking problem my friend. Seriously look. I am not going to place the blame  completely on you.  You are rather young and I am sure your relationships upbringing and learned behaviors and environment contributed. 

You are now an adult It is time to grow up take a hard look at your life and fix this shit. I know that is what this post is about. The positive side your young and all this shit can be fixed.

Then I want you write a list of things you are good at and put them in a positive statement. Second , every-time you start negative internal dialog stop and reverse that ether tell your self something  good and positive or correct the negative behavior choose a different path than give your self a positive affirmation or statement that is base on the thing you corrected. 

• An example is you come home and you bedroom is trashed and you think "I am such a lazy fuck" recognize that as something you can change at that moment. Clean you room take a deep breath and say "This feels better I am getting organized and straightening out my life GOOD JOB" or if there is just a negative self talk At that moment focus positive affirmations that are opposite.

 

•  A good example is you see a girl that is attractive you instantly have a internal dialog  "she is out of my league ,  I am such a looser I could never get a girl like that"  Stop that and change it to "I am a confident good person and I am going to actively approach more woman"

Now why am I telling you this? This shit can not work! Yes it can and I will  tell you the method behind it the mind works on repetition. You push rules into your subconscious thought repetition and up to this point all that negative self talk is telling you subconscious  all that shit is true. Your subconscious is where you make actual decisions from. You conscious  mind just makes up the story's that make it make sense and gives it  illusion that you make your decisions from there.  Here is the trick to changing habits. Repetition pushes  rules and habits into your subconscious.  

I would suggest you get some mala beads and use them for positive affirmations. You can use them when waiting for a prescription or anytime you are waiting and it just is a really efficient way to get these Repetitions into your life. The trick here is it has to be positive like you would not say   "I want to stop being anxious"  You would say "I am calm and tranquil" always make it positive solution based statement.  

So here is my suggestion.  first analyze habits.    Your day , how do you spend your time.  I want you to make a list of activity's and what they do for you both good and bad.  Be brutally honest with yourself. Why are you doing the activity. what are the up sides what are the down sides how much time does it consume. 

I use to play video games as a distraction it also gave me a more aggressive attitude in general. The positive was it engaged my mind strategically. I stopped  playing video games. because their was that negative aspect of a distraction and aggression as well as it gave me no real pay off. I have switched to several other activity's that give me all the pros and none of the cons. 

Same things with friends how much time do they consume do you feel uplifted after you spend time with them or drained. If someone is draining you and you can eliminate time with them then  do that. If they are completely toxic try to eliminate spending time  at all or to a minimum.

lets  start with that.

 

Explore more,  get out of the house , take walks , read more , anything that interest you explore that.

 

 

 

Jesus... this really resonated with me... Especially the example on the girl. 

Question though on the affirmations when negative thoughts arise... I notice that when I do affirmations when I have negative obsessive thoughts so as to challenge them, I feel like I'm lying to myself. For example, if I have a thought that says 'I'm a lazy fuck,' and I counter that with an affirmation that goes, 'I'm a responsible productive person,' I tend to get overwhelmed and quit because I feel like I'm just lying and deluding myself. Is that just part of the game and I just push through that anyways? That's definitely been a confusing obstacle with me in terms of affirmations.

[kieranperez]

@Source_Mystic But man... that really is helpful. Going to get on the first exercise right now! 

@Joseph Maynor are you referencing the Do Nothing meditation? Definitely going to follow through with that as well and not just limit my meditation to just 1 sit p/day.

[Source_Mystic]

55 minutes ago, kieranperez said:

Jesus... this really resonated with me... Especially the example on the girl. 

Question though on the affirmations when negative thoughts arise... I notice that when I do affirmations when I have negative obsessive thoughts so as to challenge them, I feel like I'm lying to myself. For example, if I have a thought that says 'I'm a lazy fuck,' and I counter that with an affirmation that goes, 'I'm a responsible productive person,' I tend to get overwhelmed and quit because I feel like I'm just lying and deluding myself. Is that just part of the game and I just push through that anyways? That's definitely been a confusing obstacle with me in terms of affirmations.

 

@kieranperez  It does not matter if it feels like a lie. PUSH THAT NEGATIVE SHIT OUT OF YOUR MIND AND KEEP PUSHING NEVER STOP. You have been negatively conditioned for 22 years and that negative conditioning feels like the truth because it has been so efficiently pushed into your subconscious. It is in fact the lie.

But you have to go one step further and change you behavior as well. You can not just push positive thought and affirmations.  You have to actively change your behavior. Like the room example you walk in say "I am a lazy fuck" then proceed to say "I am clean and organized"  then proceed to sit down in your trashed room and play video games and procrastinate. YOU HAVE CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR  with the positive affirmations action is just another repetition as far as you subconscious is concerned.

Also know that you mind is programed to be negative and that there will be subconscious resistance.... like it feels like a lie that is a subconscious resistance to trick you to stop. Don't stop view resistance of you mind as a sign of progress and success and ignore it and keep pushing. TO TAKES 40 DAYS TO BREAK THE MIND AND DEVELOP A NEW HABIT AFTER THAT IT IS MUCH EASIER IT BECOMES A NEW RULE AND PATTERN THAT YOU SUBCONSCIOUS ACCEPTS.  

I know affirmations and this repetition sounds crazy but it is how your mind works. I would suggest mala beads strongly as well I use them myself  you can get some for 7 - 20 bucks there all the same it does not matter if it is wood glass or crystal. I suggest just a cheep wood one it will get the job done.

When it breaks and it will especially if you use it a lot just take it as a badge "ya I did so many affirmations I wore this out "realize at the same  that you broke your subconsciousness resistance as well and know you are more positive for it.  

 

Edited December 22, 2017 by Source_Mystic

[ExodiaGearCEO]

You reminded of me not to long ago but I understand where you are coming from. If I had to give you my advice what I would say is stop being a victim. Stop self doubting your greatness. Go to YouTube with your ass and watch some motivation video and read some books on self development and watch some Leo video if you have the chance. I used to be broke and I had lost my home due to my family bad finiancal decision. But I know I wasn't going to be a. Victim of that so what I did was that I never give up and keep pushing myself to become the best I can be. And I am thankful for this experience because now I have a online business and will be making 10k month on passive income it's crazy !

 

Here is what I recommend you do right now. Sit down in a quiet room. Pick one thing that you're deeply interested in and stick to that for next 5-10 years and keep chipping onto that. Because that can break or make you right there.