Parents really dont care if you're depressed as hell and just want to enjoy life again

[Nadosa]

My mom blames me everyday since I quit university because of debilitating thoughts and feelings. She asks herself "what she has born", and thinks that I am cruel. I know she is really disappointed because I am the second son "ruining" his life because I just cant study at the moment as she wants me to and work also seems to be overwhelming because my identity is just utterly shattered. This year was so bad and painful and it ends even worse. 

I didnt want to disappoint her, if I was ok, I would study, but I am certainly not! So I dont understand, everyone in my family blames me but they never dealt with mental health issues and that it could potentially could cause someone to end his life.

So how do I react? I dont want to look like a victim, nor want to be one. But sometimes I cant help it and I just answer: It is my life.

Edited December 5, 2017 by Nadosa

[ajasatya]

@Nadosa just tell the truth. tell her that her attitude is hurting you and that you need some time to heal yourself before getting back to regular daily activities.

it's very simple. open up and tell her how you feel.

[Nadosa]

Thank you as always. Just needed to share my feelings.

[omkarshetty]

My mom says me the same things as you have mentioned above, and adding to it she also keeps mentioning the Night that I was born was astrologically a very bad day according to Hindu Tradition. Namely Amavasya Night (No Moon Night). She kind of keeps repeating it day-after-day the same dialogue ,for every other less-aware act of mine or anything else.

You know what? The problem is on both the sides i.e. its in us and also the ones scolding us.

When she says anything like that above notice if you have an uncontrollable loop of thoughts that are set to disturb your current mood or even turn you angry, which  are not actually yours, probably my best advice would be to get out of the place you are at.

These things have gone deep in their subconscious and they will come back again and again.

Try to think deterministicaly and see how that would affect your future.

Make a move.

 

 

Edited December 5, 2017 by omkarshetty

[Spiral]

Are you still living with her?

[Nadosa]

Yes. But I am planning to just drop it all and leave for a trip. Dont really know if that helps my risky state of mind, but I need to heal.

[Nadosa]

On 5.12.2017 at 3:31 PM, ajasatya said:

@Nadosa just tell the truth. tell her that her attitude is hurting you and that you need some time to heal yourself before getting back to regular daily activities.

it's very simple. open up and tell her how you feel.

So...I did but, now my mom and grandma are raging as hell, telling me to do something productively instead of running from therapist to therapist, why I didnt choose the right place for studying (because I cancelled), and that I am a shame for the family, not giving anything back to my mother, as well as my brother. Well, it started with my brother who pursues his happiness totally differently than what my family has imagained: He occasionally works and travels. 

Something that doesnt match with the imaginations of my grandma. And now she obviously fears that I will end like him, but if I was healthy, I surely would continue studying. But she's pretty selfish in this way, not believing in mental suffering. Or am I?

Edited December 15, 2017 by Nadosa

[ajasatya]

@Nadosa ask your mother why she wanted to have children

[MatthewBaggins]

And what about your relationship with your brother? Cannot he help you rise from this pit?