Reports From Pickup

[Girzo]

I really liked the idea of writing trip reports after psychedelics and started to apply it to other domains. It's very applicable to social interactions. Writing such report is a good oppurtinity to understand something on a deeper level and get aware of the progress you are making. And integrate yourself better. Pickup creates a lot of emotional turmoil, similar to psychedelics, writing it all up helps in organizing your feelings. I really encourage everyone to do the reports after party, clubbing, meeting with friends or other situations. After few years they can also give you an insight about how much you have changed.

Here is an example:

So, the day before I have talked with Karolina and Gabrysia. We were waiting for extra Math classes. The topic was relationships. I got to know that Karolina's boyfriend broke up with her. I couldn't miss that piece of information. We had fun talking about stuff. I was cool with my lack of experience in dating and managed to have a conversation with them nevertheless. 

The next day I was in a funny mood and thought that I will ask her out. I couldn't find a right moment, so just as I was about to leave a school, I have approached her and said, "Come on, Karolina. I will show you something", then took her hand and walked few steps to separate from the group. Obviously, after she made me wait for her 3 secs, as always. It's almost a ritual that she has to look at the phone one last time. 

Now she asks, "So, what is it?" I hesitate a little bit after hearing this and then go all out!

"Date with me," shock and smile on her face, "For all those times when you have said that you really want, but something, something, something." My hands were shaky, but she couldn't see it, it was very subtle.

"I can't blah blah blah."

"Don't you fool with me," I said with a smile.

She laughs, "I would like to fool with you!"

"So, what about friday at 18:00?"

"I can't I am meeting with collegues from middle school on that day (that's actually true, I knew about it, but forgot) and on Saturday (she goes with that almost immediately) I am meeting with girls (our classmates).

I have gasped, exchanged few words and left with overall conclusion: "Fuck her, it's not worth to ask her out at all, but I will probably do it again just for the sport and fun." We were both flushed with the present moment during this conversation, so grounded. I felt funny and masculine afterwards for a few hours and now she is much nicer to me so it was worth it. I have once heard from a wise guy that you have an unlimited number of tries with friends, so I will continue working on her. 

It's undesired to have an image of the future (good or bad) when it comes to social interactions, because it creates fear. Here I had no expectations. I have just prepared in my mind where I want to take her and went all out. I can also confirm that bold actions like this agitate other males who will try to bring you down to their level, but only those who are interested in the same girls, others won't say anything.

WHAT I DID WELL? +++

• I have asked her out at all.
• I took her hand and distanced from the group.
• I was stragith-forward, standing in front of her and holding eye-contact.
• My voice was clear and confident.
• I didn't feel rejected at all.

WHAT NOT SO WELL? ---

• I could have created a situation where she get genuinely interested in me and then ask on a high-note, so I could cut through her bullshit and make her choose me over her friends.

WHAT CAN I DO BETTER? ^^^

• I can escalate much more physicality with her. If her response is bad, then don't worry, just calibrate and try again later.
• I can be much more persistent.
• I can put even more effort in making her comfortable, because I want to hear honest answer and not softened PR version.

 

[Lorcan]

"Date with me," shock and smile on her face, "

"I can't blah blah blah."

She laughs, "I would like to fool with you!"

 

You should have pushed harder until you got a hard no.

Overall. Good job. You did it.

Now do it again. Harder.

[Lynnel]

11 hours ago, Girzo said:

WHAT CAN I DO BETTER? ^^^

 

• I can escalate much more physicality with her. If her response is bad, then don't worry, just calibrate and try again later.
• I can be much more persistent.
• I can put even more effort in making her comfortable, because I want to hear honest answer and not softened PR version.

 

Nah nah nah !

Act normally and date other girls.

It's the fastest way. Anything from this point on aside from just talking normally like friends with no pressure at all with make you seem too try hard.

If she sees you being chosen by other women she will most likely click - or not, then you would just next.

More effort => lower value.

Edited December 3, 2017 by Lynnel

[Spiral]

Do try to go on dates with a girl who just broke up,  rebound relationships normally don't work out.

If all you want is sex, don't date the girl, or you'll get the fuckboy reputation. Also a girl who want's a relationship she will delay the sex, to "keep you around".

Best you'll get in this situation is rebound sex.

Although kudos for being cocky. 

Edited December 3, 2017 by Spiral

[Girzo]

@Lorcan wrong idea, she is a friend, so pushing harder would be inconsiderate and weird. In my opinion, of course, that is how I felt in this moment. 

[Shin]

23 minutes ago, Girzo said:

@Lorcan wrong idea, she is a friend, so pushing harder would be inconsiderate and weird. In my opinion, of course, that is how I felt in this moment. 

Go to a party with her, wait until she's drunk, then have a super night with her.
Isolate her and do just what you've done before.
When she will want to kiss you or more, kiss her once then refuse when she want it again and say you can't abuse her like that.

Wait untill tomorrow night
Call and meet her
PROFIT !

[aurum]

49 minutes ago, Girzo said:

@Lorcan wrong idea, she is a friend, so pushing harder would be inconsiderate and weird. In my opinion, of course, that is how I felt in this moment. 

Yup. The "don't you fool with me" line was solid. You didn't get emotionally reactive and held your frame, which is 95% of what matters in a situation like that.

If you ask her out again, I'd go for a lower investment offer on your part. Don't ask her for another one on one "date", just invite her to some event that's happening with your friends. Ideally one that you organized.

Also, writing these reports is absolutely a hack to skyrocketing your results with this.

When it's all in your head, it's kind of vague and nebulous. Flushing it out on paper really cements those lessons.

The format I personally like looks like this:

Part 1 of the interaction

*Lesson learned*

Part 2 of the interaction

*Lesson learned*

Part 3 of the interaction

*Lesson learned*

etc until you feel you've got it all out.

I like doing it this way because it forces your mind to understand what was happening at each moment. Then at the end, I'd sum it all up like you did with the major highlights of what I did good and what I could do better next time.

Way to take action keep it up.

[Shroomdoctor]

On 4.12.2017 at 0:58 AM, aurum said:

Also, writing these reports is absolutely a hack to skyrocketing your results with this.

When it's all in your head, it's kind of vague and nebulous. Flushing it out on paper really cements those lessons.

A really nice idea.

Also @Girzo I like how you actually invest time on the Reflection part, which is often overlooked. 

Quick Tip: Try to spot your needy behaviour. Its often the little things that make her test you.