how do I become happy?

[Viking]

Classic question, but I need a refresher because I lost my way (not that I had one in the first place)

Is it even possible to become happy? As I understand it's just an emotion, so it's not lasting. If so, what's the alternative, whats the alternative to not feel numb to life?

I am meditating and am on the path, but the path is quite long, so I need some way to not feel shitty right now.

Do I become happy by not having the need to be happy?

[Ether]

Lose your suffering , disbelieve your thoughts

[AleksM]

@Ilya

[JustinS]

First, stop feeding yourself with things that aren't making you naturally happy; social obligations, unhealthy diet, victim wormhole thinking, etc. 

I think you may be looking for peace of mind and not so much happiness. 

- It doesn't hurt to start cleaning out your body. Fat Green Smoothies every morning! Even better, drink it after a light jog around the neighborhood plus with a cold shower to really get it going !

- Find yourself a sense of purpose or meaning in this world that caters you. 

- Try strong determination sitting; 30 min with absolutely no moving! 

- Doing less throughout your day. Keeping it to around 5 main tasks throughout your day like cooking, work, reading, journaling, exercising.

- Talking to like minded people in your city. Yoga (find the new age ones) , psychedelic meetups, 

- Psychedelics, or if thats too hard to find try a bit of marijuana once in awhile; a pretty decent kickstarter in expressing yourself through dance, writing, drawing, whateva! 

* When the world feels like it's going to collapse just sit there on your couch and do Nothing but be aware of the recycling mind pattern. Trust me, it will eventually die down even if it takes 20min-1hr. <- This is where meditation can come in handy! Best of luck. 

[Friend]

@Ilya why do you believe you feel shitty? What is causing you to believe you are not happy?

[eputkonen]

3 hours ago, Ilya said:

Classic question, but I need a refresher because I lost my way (not that I had one in the first place)

Is it even possible to become happy? As I understand it's just an emotion, so it's not lasting. If so, what's the alternative, whats the alternative to not feel numb to life?

I am meditating and am on the path, but the path is quite long, so I need some way to not feel shitty right now.

Do I become happy by not having the need to be happy?

You can not become happy...your very nature is happiness, bliss, and joy.  Happiness is something you are, when you are not making yourself miserable.  So the trick is to clearly see how you are making yourself suffer and miserable...and cease doing that to yourself.  Also, you might want to actively find joy through appreciation for what-is now and whatever is happening.  Appreciation makes joy and happiness much easier to feel.

The alternative is not to feel numb to life...just live in joy and happiness.  A happiness that does not depend on anything.

But this is a bandage only, because you feel shitty and suffer because you believe you are this fictitious "me".  Realizing the happiness that dos not depend on anything will not occur as long as you believe you are this illusory "me".  The "me" will always have problems and create misery for itself.  In a way, it is problems and misery that strengthen the illusion of the "me" and sustain it.  What are you...really?  Inquire and delve into who you think you are...and see you are not that.  At the same time and in the mean time, appreciate as much as you can all of the time.

I will conclude that there is a bit of truth in your last question - "do I become happy by not having the need to be happy?"  If you need/insist that you never feel pain, never experience unfortunately circumstances, etc...then you won't be happy.  The trick is not needing things to always be pleasant.

Edited December 2, 2017 by eputkonen

[Viking]

@eputkonen I feel when I try to appreciate something it's not honest, how do I do that exactly?

[Joseph Maynor]

Find your authentic-self and then clarify a life purpose that inspires you.  

Edited December 3, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Telepresent]

@Ilya I don't have the link to hand but I've recently read a very interesting book called Practicing Radical Honesty which might be worth a look. Has a very interesting thesis on why most people are unhappy and is very connected to the kind of work we do here. Google the name and you should be able to find a free pdf version

[Shin]

Becoming a child again, no problems, just happy little accidents.

Look at Leo in his last video !

What an innocent man !

 

Edited December 3, 2017 by Shin

[eputkonen]

8 hours ago, Ilya said:

@eputkonen I feel when I try to appreciate something it's not honest, how do I do that exactly?

I am not sure how you are are trying to appreciate, but if you look at something honestly...can't you just see something that you can appreciate about it?  This becomes like a game...once you find one thing to appreciate...can you find another.  It gets easier the more you do it.  We have been conditioned and have wired our brains against appreciating things...we want to criticize things.

We take way too much for granted usually...and so this is just recognizing how good things are (as they are).  It is relative really.  Sometimes you have to look down instead of looking up (so to speak)...and instead of looking at how much further you/we have to go...instead you look at how far you/we have come already.

I am not saying manufacture appreciation...like forcing yourself to appreciate something.  Just looking for what you can appreciate is enough.  Say you are caught in a slow traffic one morning going to work.  There are many things you could appreciate:

• the traffic could be stopped entirely in a jam - due to an accident (appreciate it is not this and no one is hurt).
• at least you have a place to go...people without jobs wish they could have this.
• regardless of the speed going...you can appreciate that you have a car and not biking or walking it (especially if it is cold out or raining).
• if you commute a distance (say 40 miles) and nearly there, you can appreciate that cars even exist...a little over a 100 years ago this would have been a two day trip by buggy.  This is a marvel of modern technology.

It is sort of reversing the (often) normal flow of thought...negative, judgmental, and unhappy.

I found delight in something Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev said in a talk he gave in Minneapolis last year.  What he said pointed at the very same idea (in essence).  He looked at the clock, joy beamed from his face, and he said, "it's 4 o'clock...and I am still alive.  My family and love ones are still alive."  He was appreciating the fact that everyone he cares about is still alive...with him.  We often overlook such blessings.

Of course appreciation may not feel natural (which is what some people would call honest) at first, because your mind has been conditioned in the opposite direction...critiquing, judging, fault-finding...basically unhappiness.  If you want to be happy, you need to stop doing this to yourself...and so to help start wiring the brain for looking in the opposite direction...you appreciate.

[ADD]

What is considered "normal" in our western civilized minds is quite fucked up actually. Complaining is normal, being grateful and happy is rare. There's always something to complain, so there must be allso always something to be grateful for aswell. You just need to shift your whole mind 180 degrees around, and be different from everyone else. 

[Nahm]

@Ilya bliss is the default, but you want to be doing more. That’s great. 

[Vercingetorix]

stop labelling stuff as good/bad, beautiful/ugly, pleasant/unpleasant etc. because when you do that automatically your brain will take bad/ugly/unpleasant and see them as something that needs to be fixed. hint: behind everything you label as negative there is a physical sensation, so for much easier work you can work on the level of sensations. see that when you have an unpleasant sensation you try to fix it. then instead of trying to fix the sensation (something that causes a lot of suffering and sustains the sensation) accept it and feel it, be with it. be ok that's it's there and then paradoxically it will also go away. But even if it doesn't go away you are aware that's its just a sensation and if you don't fight it you can be happy with it!

[SOUL]

Release unhappiness and not seek to be happy, the middle path is always at hand.

[Joseph Maynor]

@Shin I love Bob Ross.  I like how he teaches techniques and concepts.  There are so many techniques to painting.

 

Edited December 4, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[ADD]

7 hours ago, SOUL said:

Release unhappiness and not seek to be happy, the middle path is always at hand.

Thank you, this is useful thing for me to realize, as i've been searching happiness from external things all my life except lately when i've searched it through meditation. But what you said made me realize i'm still seeking for the happiness instead of just letting it be. The seeking of happiness is actually the only thing on the way of happiness!!! Ahh feels good.