How to refrain from Lustful thought and actions?

[Harms727]

I know as guys we all have lustful thoughts and its for sure one of the most challenging things to refrain from completely which means no desire for sex, pornography or masturbating. Are there any practical tips you guys have for helping someone slowly refrain from having lustful thoughts and then acting on them?

 

Thanks

[Spiral]

Slowly try to reduse one of them at the time, I would start with porn, then fap, then sex. Once you reach 3 weeks move on to the next one.

Example: stop watching porn, like this limit your self to once every 3 days and do that for 18 days. Then do once every 6 days for 18 then 9 days for 18 days then stop completely.

Edited December 2, 2017 by Spiral

[LaucherJunge]

Anytime you get lustful just imagine how all of the energy flows back into your upper body, very effective for me.

[Harms727]

Thanks for that advise I will try that from now on.

[AleksM]

@Harms727

I recommend to read this book 20 times.

https://sites.google.com/site/hackbookeasypeasy/home

[Harms727]

Thank you for that link buddy, I'm not addicted to sex or anything close to that - just to point out! But I will go through the book regardless, hopefully it will help.

[Torkys]

You just don't. Let it move through you as much as the situation allows. Otherwise, you will suppress lustful thoughts and they will come back to bite you in the ass later.

And if you have even a subtle addiction to porn and/or fapping, remember that awareness alone is curative. These things will become less and less satisfying if you become aware of them.

 

[Noego2020]

I would be also tempted to look at diet and exercise, this helped me a great deal. I have reduced my sugar intake and taken up cycling. 

When I mean exercise I am specifically talking about a physical activity that will raise you heart beat, have your lungs working hard and makes you sweat. 

[Matt8800]

Lust is an emotion that was formed by evolution to propagate the species. Im not saying that it is a "good" thing necessarily but dont read too much into its "bad-ness".

Do you think that urges to have sex are "immoral"? Why? Who told you that and by what authority?

Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone that you never had any feelings of lust for? If you feel lust, does that mean automatically that you consider them an object? When there is no lust, that is called the "friend zone".

If something is not hurting others, focus less on the act or emotion and just stay true to working on yourself. As you grow, your urges will change to fit into something that is more healthy, whatever that is.

[Faceless]

Lust implies desire for the pleasure in the experience. Ultimately thought is the root of this movement. 

We are thought and within that thought is a fragment, lust. So we are lust. To refrain is to go from what is “lust” and controlling oneself according to an idea “non lust” ultimately escaping the fact that we are lust. 

So instead of the idea of what should be maybe we should stay with the fact. Face it, learn about it, observe this movement of desire, pleasure, and gratification objectively with denying or accepting

[YaNanNallari]

I'm sure that you have times where you're not feeling lustful at all. Maybe recall a time like this. This shows us how it is a temporary experience and just an idea. One way to overcome this completely accepting porn and yourself, while being more interested in something else. Instead of watching porn, you might be interested in larger questions of life. You might be more interested thinking about something related to what you do. You see the other things as also something beneficial for yourself, so you do them instead. There is no need to demonize porn or any urges, just see that you rather do something else. Something else comes up more naturally. Any meditation etc will also make this easier.