Awareness Alone is Curative Dilemma w/Moralizing

[kieranperez]

I've been trying to utilize the principle of how Awareness Alone is Curative towards my moralizing. I've identified which should-statements are most toxic in my life which @Leo Gura identified in the video regarding how to stop moralizing. For me, moralizing is pretty much the sole reason I sabotage all opportunities for change in my life and advancing even towards success. So I know this is the thing I know that I need to focus on most of all to unwire. Especially since I'm so out of touch with all senses of positive motivation and have little to know touch with knowing what my genuine desires are.

So, I've been focusing all my meditation sits on Mindfulness Meditation with noting, labeling, and savoring for the last few weeks and am doing my best to be mindful and aware when I moralize, given the hands-off procedure that goes with the principle of Awareness Alone is Curative. However, I feel like this issue is such a deep addiction that I almost can't function without it. When I objectively observe my moralizing, I'll remain judgement free for a brief window in time but then I hit this confusing point where I become aware of how my moralizing is causing me to suffer but then keep moralizing because I thought that was part of the procedure in using this technique. At the same time though, I also just try to drop it altogether (moralizing) but that doesn't seem to work exactly given how addicted I am to making should statements. 

I get so frustrated by the fact that I have to let myself keep moralizing through this technique of Awareness Alone Being Curative that I actually moralize more to stop moralizing (man this is getting redundant) because it's so painful to see that given all these weeks I've been applying this principle I still haven't gained any traction at all with this. It's like I'm so pained from objectively watching myself in being dysfunctional when applying this principle and how I just want the change to happen already that I just jump to more moralizing so that I can "just stop already." Once I become aware of that though, it just get's to this dizzying cycle that I just quit the process because of how overwhelming and confusing this becomes. 

TIps? Advice? Anyone relate to this?

[Leo Gura]

There are a couple tricks you could use:

1) Try to enjoy your suffering rather than fighting it. You can make light of your moralizing like this, "There I go again... haha. I'm just like a moralization robot."

2) Realize that you can drop your moralizing at any time. The point of the mindfulness is so that you finally realize, "Ohhhhh!!! This is causing me so much damage. It's so pointless. I would be a fool to continue shooting myself in the foot. I will just stop." And you stop.

Awareness Alone Is Curative doesn't mean you need to keep doing stupid stuff for months at a time. The point of it is to SEE your own stupidity and then drop it as soon as you're willing. If you're not willing to drop it yet, then keep up the mindfulness until one day you will become ready.

[John]

I'm with you on this one.

A big hang up of mine is having an idea of what enlightenment is (backed up with hours of youtube videos and reading etc) that seems to be unreal. I keep on striving for it, and can't make reality match it. This rub between my image of enlightenment and how reality actually is, causes immense suffering. Kind of like your moralizing, no?

One technique I have used very recently is Focus In. So, when you do your noting practice, close your eyes and limit the focus range to just your inner space. See if you can begin to notice your should statements arising. If they are arising as mental talk, note that, savor it. If they are arising as images in your minds eye, note that label it. If they are arising as emotional discomfort somewhere in the body, note that, label it feel, savor it. Notice that this is actually the only way your Moralizing can actually arise, through one of the above three channels, See In, Hear In, or Feel in.

This can help untangle how you are actually moralizing in each moment. It can help you unravel the mechanism of it.

Look up 'Shinzen Young Using Turn Towards' on youtube if you're interested in more.