The truth is maddening

[hinawashi]

I was looking back at the past few months putting all the pieces of evidence together when I had this sudden epiphany.

I wasn't chasing the truth, the truth is chasing me.

Why? Because I started self-development as an experiment to see if any of this crazy talk is true. So in a sense I though I was pursuing the truth by testing different theories and models, because I'm a scientist and I believe experimentation is the gold standard. But in the end, all the empirical evidence of everything I thought be counterintuitive turned out to be true. That drove me almost insane, because now the truth is forcing me to believe it whether I want to or not. I still want to run away and keep my old beliefs, but I can't run away from the truth anymore When I thought I was the hunter, I became the prey. I thought I could win, but I took on a far too strong of an opponent and now I'm completely crushed, rolled flat and tossed aside.

Isn't that ironic?

[aurum]

@hinawashi

The hero never really understands what he is getting into when he accepts the call.

But as mind bending and confusing as it can be, I kind of like it this way.

You never know what the next paradigm is going to be. Which is way more exciting than when you just thought you knew everything.

[hinawashi]

@aurum Now that you mention it, I had to listen to Leo's talk on the hero's journey again. It's true that I don't know what my next paradigm shift will be, but I am certain that this paradigm shift I'm facing right now is my unwillingness to accept the truth and the real unadulterated reality. Maybe it's my first threshold guardian, and I'm getting my ass kicked because I'm not really fighting the truth, but rather my ego, and the shocking plot twist is that my ego has been lying to me the whole time that the truth is a bad thing which must be defeated in some way.