are parents always right?

[Claire Verlyn]

is it wrong if we sometimes don't do things told by our parents? for example, this is a real story of my life actually. I am a 11th grader currently. I am so busy that I don't even have time to relax or do something that i really like. i feel like my mother doesn't really know that I am very very tired due to school tasks and exams. my mother ever said that if she has a child that always get good grades in school, she will be so happy and proud. while I actually have interest in some subjects only such as English and math, I sometimes get bad grades in some subjects. and recently, i have been really busy and tired due to school tasks and exams. i feel like that my mom thinks that i still don't struggle enough. she keeps telling me to study and study. if you really want to know how crazy my school is, we have always been given tasks and exams lately and even on Sunday, i still have to study! i don't have a single day to just relax! what should i really do? do i just have to keep studying to make my mother happy although i have been so tired??

[BobbyLowell]

No parents are not always right, they are humans. But in this case it just looks like your mom wants to push you to do amazing in school I don't think that's bad. 

[Claire Verlyn]

@BobbyLowell yeah but i have been really tired recently..do i really have to push myself so hard by keep studying??

[Arman]

29 minutes ago, Claire Verlyn said:

@BobbyLowell yeah but i have been really tired recently..do i really have to push myself so hard by keep studying??

No, you don't have to. You have the freedom to make your own decisions. Just be aware that these decisions will impact you and likely your relationship with your mother. Sometimes in life we have to disappoint others in order to meet our own needs. In any case, try being more honest and open with her about how you feel. 

Edited November 24, 2017 by Arman

[BobbyLowell]

@Claire Verlynyes you can make your own choices. But try to make the ones that are really best for yourself: be honest with yourself if you are rationalizing laziness or you have a medical issue with fatigue or something. I'm not saying it is or isn't. Talk to your mother about the situation but don't accuse her of anything. Then make your decision that is best for you and tell your mother honestly what it is without accusation or blame.

[Lorcan]

Listen here. I am 16 around your age.

First and Foremost. DO NOT believe what ANYONE tells you. Do not get sucked into to what your is telling you. Do your own research. There are many ways to become wealthy in this world. The college grind route is only one of them.

You do not have to do what your parents tell you to do. Neither can your parents punish you for not doing what they want. What they can do is be less generous to you, give less gifts to your on birthdays and Christmas.

In short. Parents can only take from you if you let them, however, it is entirely up to them what they decide to gift you.

Your parents can only take away you phone and charger for it you let them. Do not let them. Your parents only have the authority over you that you give them. Unless your parents are state-backed, in the case you do something illegal, like steal your parents car. Then you are in shit.

But for walking outside of their property without their consent, refusing to give them your phone if they try take it off you. They can not touch you.

Seek to become as independent as possible. Get yourself a wage job, create a bank account with your own bank card. (You will need parents consent I believe to open it). If your parents refuse to let your open a bank account by not giving their consent to the bank. Use a friends bank account until you are 18 and can make your own without your parents.

I half-ass school, but the does not give me license to be lazy. Oh no. You have to work your ass off. Hard work is un-avoidable. You will suffer.

The difference is doing from extrinsic motivation(motivated externally *cough* your mom) and doing it out of intrinsic motivation.(motivated internally motivation.  One is Un-inspiring and soul sucking, the other is something beautiful that, once you have developed it well, it can bring you to tears.

 

Do not believe me.

Save yourself.

 

Feel free to contact me for any more advice.

[YaNanNallari]

Try to make your studying a bit more fun and enjoyable. It is no good studying in a very stressed manner if you won't be able to keep it up for too long. Still keep studying, but keep a slightly more interested view on it rather than having to do it as a chore every time. If you're tired, try to meditate and let go of things for a bit. Even just for the duration of meditating.

[Will2gain]

I am a parent and i believe your mother pushes you because she loves you.

You might be more conscious than your parents, but you did not walk their distance so to speak yet, i recommend for you to develop your life with Maslow hierarchy of needs in mind, so do as your mother says and study hard and you will climb the pyramid.. Spirituality and selfactualization are on the top of the pyramid so its important for you to have a strong foundation

[Lorcan]

15 hours ago, Will2gain said:

I am a parent and i believe your mother pushes you because she loves you.

You might be more conscious than your parents, but you did not walk their distance so to speak yet, i recommend for you to develop your life with Maslow hierarchy of needs in mind, so do as your mother says and study hard and you will climb the pyramid.. Spirituality and selfactualization are on the top of the pyramid so its important for you to have a strong foundation

 I disagree.

Do not do what your mother says.

Verify stuff for yourself. Not because someone said so. Including me.

You have to direct your own life. Do not let other people direct it for you.

[d0ornokey]

On 12/5/2017 at 7:48 PM, Will2gain said:

do as your mother says

mmmm. i don't think you need to. while some advice is useful, you can get 10,000x advice better from just reading a book. even if the kid fucks up, doesn't matter, he gets the learning lesson. the only thing that matters is if the kid has perseverance and drive to learn. from my parents and from all the parents i've met, listening to them just hurts you in the long run. if your parents are abusive then i would start a client based internet business and secretly try to move out so you can live out your life purpose. 

also you have to undo parents conditioning as well. which is also hurtful to the kid. being independent of parents philosophies and listening to gurus and teachers will aid much better in the long run

edit: the average parent is a monkey. with 0 understanding of self-actualization, their life path will be hella corrupted, even the good path. listen to Leo and read. 

Edited December 7, 2017 by d0ornokey

[smd]

@Claire Verlyn

You need to take care of First Thing's First.  WHY are you so tired?   Did you tell your Mom yet?

Tell her that you're feeling unusually tired & ask her to help you with that.  Tell her you think it might be effecting your grades & ability to study.

Then she'll be in a position to help you.  If you're not tired, your grades will improve, & less doting from your parents.

Do you think me being a millionaire would mean that my Dad would just be proud of me all of the time & will no longer scold me if I do something he disapproves of or even the fact that I'm middle-aged?   Your parents are going to be the same to you your entire life, no matter what stage you're in.  If you have a good relationship with them, then get used to it.  My parents advice never bothered me.  Sometimes I found it useful as they are cautious onlookers on your life's direction.  I've done things they would never approve of, so to spare them of it, I don't tell them about it.  I would if it backfired & I needed their support however.  Parents love being right & they always forgive.