Soul Gazing partner meditation exercise

[Forestluv]

In an effort to form deeper connections, my new gf and I tried a “soul gazing” exercise. The couple simply sits face to face on meditation cushions and gazes directly in each other’s eyes. The guide suggested only 5min. for first- timers and to just be aware of any uncomfortable thoughts/feelings that may arise. . . I had never tried this with a gf and was curious. She is buddhist and has sporadically meditated, so I thought we might connect.

I felt comfortable and had interest/desire in gazing into her eyes. She immediately became uncomfortable. She asked if we could hold hands. She couldn’t maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds. She kept closing her eyes and sighing. After a few minutes, she said five minutes must have passed and asked if we should check the timer. A minute later she stood up to check the timer. It went off just as she checked it. She looked discouraged and apologized. I told her it was fine and everything went just like it was supposed to.

I found her behavior interesting. I don’t think it was due to overtly hiding something (like seeing another guy). She seems transparent and it was her idea to do the soul gazing.

Perhaps consistent eye contact is intensely intimate for some. Perhaps there are deeper insecurities. I thought it also may reflect a low level of self love. I wonder if it was something she saw in me or something she felt was being seen. Or perhaps resistance to becoming one and losing herself.

Edited November 24, 2017 by Serotoninluv

[youngshinzen]

@Serotoninluv I had huge problems with eye contact and still sometimes have. I‘ve noticed that eye contact reinforces our awareness of what we feel. It‘s a good way to see if we really feel ok and also to trigger these emotions. You could ask her what and where she feels uncomfortable while doing the exercise. This will help her to understand herself better and also bring you closer together.