I just dont seem to be able to realize the illusiory nature of thoughts

[Nadosa]

I mean, I had so many insights, yet I still fall back into "what if they are true?", "I have believed them for the last couple of months, why suddently stop believing them, that's against my conditioning!". It is just impossible to disbelieve them, though many people suffering from mental health issues like mine had just one "aha!" moment which showed them that all suffering is created by thought. I had several "aha!" moments and still fall back (consciously) into the believing habit which is the cause for all my suffering.

Is this just different from person to person?

[Shin]

You don't have to disbelieve them, you just have to watch them, it will sort it out itself.

If you try to disbelieve them, it's still the mind trying to control something.

[Torkys]

You will be getting closer to Truth with each insight. Insights may influence each other. It is just the nature of the work. Keep going!

[Forestluv]

They are just thoughts. Observe them without attachment.

[ADD]

That is completely normal. You will fall back to thinking mind all the time. Just notice it with compassion and love towards yourself. Enjoy the progress the new insights give you. 

[Leo Gura]

@Nadosa It just requires going deeper. You've but only scratched a surface here.

Stick with the overall procress.

[Alexo45]

15 hours ago, Nadosa said:

"what if they are true?"

15 hours ago, Nadosa said:

"I have believed them for the last couple of months, why suddently stop believing them, that's against my conditioning!"

These are also thoughts. 

"You" are already aware of thoughts, so there is nothing else to do. "You" don't have to disbelieve them, because that's also doing something. The mechanic (ego) loops back that way, which keeps it running. 

15 hours ago, Nadosa said:

I had several "aha!" moments and still fall back (consciously) into the believing habit which is the cause for all my suffering.

All of this has been seen. There wouldn't be any memory from falling back into the believing habit, or having suffered without consciousness.
Become aware of the awareness. Realize that "you" are the absolute consciousness that is conscious of being conscious.

[Shin]

10 minutes ago, Alexo45 said:

Become aware of the awareness. Realize that "you" are the absolute consciousness that is conscious of being conscious.

So many people think of enlightenment as something so big that it cannot be something that simple.

[Joseph Maynor]

@Nadosa How’s your daily meditation habit?  Describe.

 

Edited November 25, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Nadosa]

It's random...basically daily self-observation is like meditating, isnt it?

[Shin]

46 minutes ago, Nadosa said:

It's random...basically daily self-observation is like meditating, isnt it?

Yes, except that it is less refreashing and deep short term wise (at the beginning)
Self-observing yourself all day long is far more effective than doing 30 minutes of meditation every day.
Now if you can't self observe yourself all day long, and get inconscious most of the time, meditation is necessary.

Even if you could be conscious all day, there is no reason not to meditate either, after all, what kind of life doesn't have 30 minutes of free time per day ?
A very low conscious one.

[Leo Gura]

@Nadosa Start practicing mindfulness with labeling. That is the surest way to deconstruct thoughts.

[SOUL]

@Nadosa All of these @Shin @Serotoninluv @ADD @Alexo45 have given a refraction of the reflections in awareness that passes through the mind in the moment like the rainbow is the refraction of white light that reflects off the water it passes through.

Trying to "disbelieve" something empowers the belief through the assumption that it is believed to begin with. It's peering into the past and trying to unring a bell when in the present moment it is to just be, leave the sound to vibrate itself into silence and not believe that sound into nothingness.

The idea of disbelieving is another belief the mind uses as a "truth", every "aha" is yet another "truth" the mind thinks it's sees and is one of the many ideas and concepts it constructs the paradigm of it's personal religion that it bows to in the church of it's own dogma.

Our self conscious, the ego, refracts our experience to believe

Our awareness, the will, reflects our experience to be live.

Oh yes, it's getting deeper and deeper, too deep, yet in fact it is shallow, very shallow. So shallow that it really is only a mirage of water that the mind thinks it sees in sands and after expending all that energy to seek it out to realize it is the illusion that refracts the light and is merely the reflection in the mind....so drink it up, the water of life flowing by in the sands of time.