No Free Will = Suicidal Thoughts.

[Swagala]

So, I got around to watching Leo's Does Free Will exist right after watching his latest one. At the beginning of the video, I was open minded as usual and agreed to all if not most of what he was talking about. Usually at the end of Leo's videos, while he's concluding the video and giving practical advice, I get the sense of "everything will be okay," even though we just beat down the ego. But in this video, it was different. I started to become depressed, just as how Leo predicted. I started to wonder "Then what was the point to this whole thing?" I was questioning all the spirituality work I've been doing. What was the point of working on the ego when at the end, you won't have control over what happens? A bit after, I started to consider suicide because I've been working on all this spirituality thing because I knew that life would be much relaxing when you're more aware/conscious. Yes, I did have that for a long while but now, it's like all that work was leading to no where. This is how I'm thinking about at this moment: even when I gain more awareness with what's happening in my mind, body, environment, I can't do anything about it. SO THEN WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE POINT OF ALL THIS WORK?!

Right now, I've somewhat calmed down and started rethinking this whole thing so that there's a happy ending. So, I started considering the possibility: what if what this really means is that you still have to try to do things or else you'd just be a bum BUT you just have to be aware of the fact that your not the one choosing to do any of these. And with this awareness, you can become more "enlightened."

I also started thinking of the possibility that it could also mean that even if you still try, just know that things won't always go correctly, so there's no point on beating yourself over it. And that whatever comes by and happens "to you" just keep in mind that it's not really happening to you, it's just reality happening and you don't have any will over it, so there's no need to beat yourself over it.

These "happy endings" I got to really gave me more assurance that this work still has something more to it. Nevertheless, I'd love to hear of what they're reaction was to the fact that there is no Free Will and how you dealt with any egotistical resistance that may have occurred. I'd also love some feedback on the "happy endings" that I got to. Are they even close to possible?

[Nahm]

@Swagala great stuff. I had that experience also. I dealt with it like you did. Way to own your freedom??Look for the symbiotic meanings. ❤️ Happy endings are possible!