Activating Pineal Gland. Diary

[Monkey-man]

Here I'll commit to keep a journal in my journey towards realising full potential of my 3rd eye or pineal gland.

A bit of background:

There are 4 main reasons why I want to discover my pineal gland's abilities.

First, one lady doing astrology/numerology/occults told me that my pineal gland has some very strong potential and if I do train it I can become good in clairvoyance and clairaudience. Now although I'm very much believer in the dimensions beyond physical world but I know she might have as well told me some random bullshit as many people of her profession do, so here I want to check whether it is any true. Of course, such things possible in general, the question is can I achieve this? I'd like some superpowers  

Second, I have never really undertook meditation or any other spiritual practices on a consistent basis. I was just making excuses for myself for not doing enlightenment work. So this can be my extra motivation to do meditation and raise my awareness.

Third, my life is very much mess right now, and if pineal gland can help me, why not? I feel like coming to this work from very egotistical motivations (like sorting out my life and getting what i want), and not so much for the sake of truth and exploration. So I am not sure if I can succeed if do it for ego? sometimes if you use spiritual and occult practices to satisfy your ego needs then it can strike back. So some moral anxiety I do have. But well, let's see. I am also just curious where it can lead to.

Fourth, for me raising awareness is a thing I need a LOT. Coz I have mild form of derealisation for quite many years now, which became part of my normal existence, and tbh I never really did much to cure it until now coz I simply didn't know how the hell the thing that I have is called, and it sucks to have it. So this also might help me to cure it. 

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Day 1 (yesterday)

I know almost nothing about 3rd eye. So I started with whatever google told me first.

• At night, I listened this video on detox of 3rd eye through sound vibrations. 
• From very beginning I felt that it is something! I started to have very subtle feeling of happiness, my vision and mind got just a bit clearer. I also had some subtle sense of fear. Overall, it reminded me an mdma trip which i had many years ago. But this was very very subtle of course. I read that pineal gland probably does produce DMT.
• 20 mins later I started to meditate in darkness with video turned on. Mind that pineal gland produces melatonin mainly, which is more effectively produced in darkness. However, there are also something about sun gazing and pineal gland relationship, so im not sure.
• Then I laid down on floor, miracle started to happen! I put my hands in front of me, and saw an aura, no kidding! Saw an aura that covered both of my hands, every finger, not extremely clear but it was there, it was colorless, sort of like stirring waves, also waves were going up from the tips of my fingers, it was as if subtle smoke goes up from my fingers.
• I then looked straight at ceiling and saw a spiral, it was spinning, this was not very surprising coz i saw something like that before. Just spinning spirals come and go.
• Then I felt very weird thing - it was sort of the feeling that i got some knowledge but I had no clue what exactly I know, but I just know something! No idea! Maybe it is 0.00000000000000000001% of enlightenment  
• That's it video finished, i had it for 2 hours. I sat down back to computer, felt bit energetic and talkative, started to talk loud. Certainly some nice feeling but very subtle.
• 2 hours later, no kidding, my long-term memory became soooooo good. I could easily recall any person from any time back, and this person's face would appear in my mind just like photo! This is interesting for me, because my memory really worsen over last years I swear! I remember not being able to recall my best friends' face, whom i saw a day before, in my mind! That's how bad my memory was. But now it is so clear. Just wow.
• I slept only few hours, woke up without any tiredness, and my mind defo got clearer, NOT VERY, but some improvement I can notice. Nothing like oneness though, derealisation is still there. 
• Also, quite interesting, something pushes me towards salads and greens! I read that spiritual practices make u to become peaky in food, coz your brain wants naturally to detoxify you when it goes into higher levels of consciousness.  
• In case of decalcification, I dunno if i'm calcified, but i never drink tap water which seems as a main cause of calcification. 

So it was day 1, actually it is surprising to have this from just a utube video. On the other hand it is not! Because i'm very much sensitive just to anything, which is the only explanation how i can get this from couple hours of bloody sound vibrations. But certainly this is nothing much yet. I wonder if it will be good to limit it to 1 hour or can we listen to it non-stop all day? Can it be too much?

Today I'll try something else

Feel free to comment. also, my knowledge in this subject is limited, so any tips, ideas, or plz share ur experience as well!

Defo the coolest part for me was that i saw aura. I cannot be sure of course, maybe it is something else? Whatever it is, its amazing.

 

Edited November 20, 2017 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

I guess i should've made topic name as 'pursuing enlightenment and pineal gland'

coz today, just now actually, i've reached some epiphany moment, 3 weeks since my meditation practices and i now started to see ego for the first time. i sort of risen above thoughts, emotions, feelings, body. i was meditating, then self-inquiring and bam it hits me - whose thoughts are those? whose feelings are those? whose body is it? who is thinking? who is feeling? who is seeing? who is speaking? i was like spectator. i started to see that i don't have much control, and im being controlled by needs and wants. this is nuts, i am being controlled by my needs of social approval + food and other cravings all the time!!! i started to see that its just such a stupidity! i'm being needy of something 24/7!! for the first time i see how much i am needy. wow strikes me so bad, now i realise what leo was talking about. i guess its my very first step towards ego disolution. it feels kinda good actually, i am a little bit above my mind and body. and i can't find myself, who am I? what is this all life about, its like theatre all the way from childhood till now, complete theatre and actors around! feels kinda scary and good in the same time. i feel this tiny glimpse of freedom. n i see now how awful is to be needy, how terrible is to be controlled by never-ending desires, my imagination is limitless i constantly want and lack something, and i see how any big acomplishments i want in my life would only make me to pursue something more and more without fullfilment. being controlled by desires and being needy sucks so bad!! i can't enjoy anything. damn i never realised this until now. this was not life but circus. idiotism, bigotry, lies, fakeness, robotness. and everyone around live in the same hell. i was just being triggered all the time by people and my desires. triggered by what people think, by someone elses emotions, by someone elses actions, by everything! everything arounds control me! it would be amazing if one day i can sit with my parents and not being triggered by their criticism. caring about ur self-image sucks so bad u can't imagine! i guess i'll lose this feeling quickly, but this glimpse of freedom is nice, it defo worths a lot. 

so that was my practices during last 3 weeks:

• meditation, now i feel like my mind just meditates all the time when i am not busy, maybe its illusiory i dunno. also i pass out sometimes during meditation which is completely weird, i just fall asleep for a minute time to time during meditation, what the hell 
• utube vibrational frequencies music of all kind, defo helped a lot, amazing thing it is
• i hallucinated cosmos and stars yesterday, was cool, also i see waves all the time if get concentrated. overall meditation brings me a lot of hallucination, i guess it is just me being sensitive to this. and damn i don't know if there is difference between 'real' hallucination and 'hallucination' hallucinations. this is really confusing staff.
• i started to see a lot of dreams with archetypes like white talking rabbit (lol) and empty black box and many other staff. my subconscious tries to tell me something.
• my diet gets better, im leaning towards healthier staff naturally without will.
• i feel huge pressure in my head constantly, which is weird.
• in terms of 3rd eye nothing much yet

a good insight:

I see why there is contradicting advice about  'u should not desire enlightenment & u should desire it so bad'

its necessary to understand this balance on this journey. u should not desire or pursue or need anything on this journey!!! like literally u should cut out your emotional pursue of enlightenment! cut it! don't desire it! but instead export your desire your pursue on abstract level and keep it there. let this be a simple understanding that u need enlightenment and understanding that u need to do work for it. BUT don't let it go into emotional field or it will turn into achievement game. don't desire it emotionally, instead want it on some tiny abstract level to extent where U DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, BUT YOU JUST DO YOUR PRACTICES WITHOUT DESIRE TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING OUT OF IT. that's how i see this 

Edited December 9, 2017 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

good advice - when u suffer watch your suffering, become aware. this is one of the most useful thing esp when u are in the deep suffering, when u cry your eyes out, and feel in chaos - watch it!

i did yesterday after strong yelling fight with family, and i feel beatific today, i feel presence of some power inside and outside of me. quite indescribable feeling. this is god, consciousness. i just feel that it is here, it is as if someone is here watching you.  gosh i was waiting for this kind of experience from age of 5. i think this is so far from realisation of truth but i feel presence of divine, and funny enough there is simultaneously nothing divine in it but also i see why it is called divine, surely how else would you name it, its really some magnetic power floating around, it is silent and kind of simple and ordinary but in the same time i can feel its potentiality, and its potentiality is overwhelming. i feel like i can talk with it by talking with myself.

but this is trap which i was warned before, all this blissful moments of divine is not it, its kind of distraction but still doesn't mean u can't appreciate and enjoy how good it feels. it also makes you start wondering about truth more. you kinda become curious of this massive power and want to understand it. that's how religions started i guess! its started when people have experienced mystical presence of power, and then they went on quest to understand it all.

 

Edited December 25, 2017 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

 

[Monkey-man]

its almost 2018 and i finally wrapped my mind around concept why nothing exists. concepts are not absolute but this is satisfactory for my left brain.

oh god. you are funny dude.

its all dream babies!!! its all dream!!!

i really doubt that me and anyone here (except Leo and some other hardcore ppl) really want to get to the rock bottom of rabbit hole

we want to explore it and get very very deep but few ppl on this planet are ready for rock bottom truth.

they say its too much to handle because dream can be nice

dark night of the soul can feel like heaven comparing to rock bottom - that's what they say

Edited December 28, 2017 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

more and more i feel the need to express something

but fewer and fewer words are needed to do so

 

there was Sufi al-Hallaj https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansur_Al-Hallaj

during his execution, while executioner cut his hands and feets, Al-Hallaj screamed full of joy: 'I am Truth'

it says all i guess, the guy realized that its all dream, surely he continued smiling during his execution

[Monkey-man]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usADINi17cI 

AVE (hail) - WAVE

MARIA - (from egyptian) LOVE

WAVE = LOVE. 

WAVE-PARTICLE DUALITY - WAVE = FEMININE. PARTICLE = MASCULINE. WAVE = LOVE. PARTICLE = ???WISDOM???

[Monkey-man]

my topic on nonduality in the video requests subforum has been disappeared after small discussion about what is true nonduality 

hmmm... how to i explain this? is it maya playing along.. gets stranger and stranger..

i still think Leo needs to give a shot and shoot one big video on nonduality to clarify as much as possible

seems we all are so deluded talking about nonduality and truth.

 

[Monkey-man]

The more I contemplate the less I know.

No books on truth can conform me, everyone seem to reinterpret Truth in any way they prefer.

I wish all scientists in the world have Truth-realization.

I think left-brainers can write good book on truth. more precise one.

ppl assuming staff endlessly, im so fed up

[Monkey-man]

@Mighty Mouse maybe but i doubt it

[Monkey-man]

@Mighty Mouse i think moderators have deleted it for some reason. 

anyway i think i have clarified nonduality for myself. it is one existence. that's what my contemplation tells me

[Monkey-man]

@Mighty Mouse in fact it took me long but my biggest concern was around existence and non-existence. 

i don't know all, but i think i clarified existence and non-existence issue

[Monkey-man]

damn this elves music makes me high

 

Edited January 2, 2018 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

paul was right all along

let it be is wisest wisdom of life

and so much related to enlightenment

[Monkey-man]

biggest insight anyone can possible have to be open-minded is

every single opinion is right. it is right from its own angle.

all together they can make something closer to universal model of reality

nothing that you can imagine can be out of equation

 

Edited January 3, 2018 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

insight:

Ego = thoughts and emotions being aware of themselves.

Thoughts and emotions = tools for survival.

Survival = actions for continuation of life.

Life = predominantly just being, just living in moment with or without actions.

 

Because our brains have developed so much, our thoughts became aware of themselves and emotions.

This lead to illusion that thoughts and emotions are 'control centre' for survival of body.

When in fact thoughts and emotions are only tools for survival, not the 'centre'.

Once thoughts think they are boss, they turn whole life into survival process, instead of life being process.

Moreover, once whole life is survival, we suffer. Because negative emotions and thoughts are there to help us to survive! Not to make us to die (suffering).

But when all day all night thoughts and emotions are running the show, negativity will always turn into suffering.

 

Survival (continuation of life) is food, reproduction, sleep, security. Thats it, for all animals.

Animals 'have life' both during survival and during 'leisure time'. Coz their thoughts and emotions are not bosses of life.

Think of lion who hunts but then he sits and looks at sunset, being completely content with himself. 

But human turned whole life into survival process because emotions and thoughts being aware of themselves are present all the time.

Not to say that human can't have 'being' during actual survival process. He also can't have 'being' during non-survival process. 

Thoughts force to engage into survival games all the time. Even relationships, education and entertainment have turned into survival ('if I don't watch this movie my life will be worse and I will die' - thinks brain, 'if i don't go to college i will die' - thinks brain, 'if she rejects me, I won't reproduce and I will die'-thinks brain).

So human think of survival all the time, but do this extremely stupidly, we do all kind of things to survive, in fact almost everything average human-being does for life is survival. So we are good in not-dying, but we are awful in being happy.

Because survival is there to have more being! But human survive to have more survival!

We live to survive. But why don't we survive to live? 

Human-being is hunting all the time, he is even hunting for information online in order to survive better.

But you cannot survive better, survival is binary, either life or death.

You can only live better, but how? If thoughts and emotions are bossy... But real boss is Life. Survival tools are there to support life. We survive to live, not live to survive.

Survival is good, it makes life to continue, but use survival intelligently, make it to fuel your life, not to sabotage. And also enjoy survival, don't make it you to suffer.

We are surviving all the time, but not being conscious of it, so we engage into different activities which we think we do for life, but actually we do them to survive - and it makes us suffer. We mistake one with another, and cannot understand why can't we have fun from these cool activities. Coz we r trying to have victory in things that are not supposed to be for win-lose. 

But if we survive consciously, i.e. be mindful of doing surviving - it can make us to feel alive, hence happy. Because certain things we will do to win = survive and we try to win only there, but everything else we can do to live = being, happiness. So we feel ok in survival and in life.

Rise above thoughts and emotions, so they can serve you, not you serving them. 

Be like lion who looks at sunset, this is being.

 

[Monkey-man]

Big insight on dream

dreams try to comfort persons psyche needs

 Think unrequited love

A guy has deep need in another girl or guy wants to know something about her that can calm down his psyche

voila! Dream: girl is being desperate and think of wrong choice she made, and sort of admitting her lost.

now guy’s mind can feel better because it’s no longer defeat for him, he can chill 

truly our mind is mystery... it’s genvious

[Monkey-man]

i like to listen to various perspectives on awakening

Edited January 9, 2018 by Monkey-man

[Monkey-man]

One part of me want to experience this life to the fullest and then reincarnate again and again and explore more and more

Another part of me wants to die and never exist again resting in eternal peaceful void, never ever coming back to earth

[Monkey-man]

My pineal gland is making progress I starting to communicate with entities made of waves and light

they seem to respond

turning lights on off and moving fast

never thought that it can be more than Hollywood movies fantasies

seems like angels or some spirit support but no idea

I felt presence of god once,  enormous power everywhere

my meditation is better now

reality still feels unreal though which is awful

my dreams on the other hand became even more vivid, now I see huge patterns in them

my head is buzzing all the time

and I'm having more sleep paralysis, even had something close to unpleasant out of body