Reconciling Personality Change For Life Purpose?

[Mrkvn8]

After Meditating for 500-1000hrs, I decided Meditation Teacher/Enlightenment is my Purpose, because I became a hyper-aware and authentic self. 

However, I lost my high-consciousness and I'm back in my egoic self, and I'm craving a more social/success/filmmaking type of career for my current level of consciousness/personality, and Enlightenment seems far away now.

How to reconcile this drastic change in personality/quality of desires?

[Dan Arnautu]

I have just the thing that can help you. It's a quote from David Deida's "Way of The Superior Man". You should really ponder and contemplate the ramifications of this quote.

"If your deepest purpose is to meditate and realize God, you might find that before you can totally dedicate yourself to this practice you must work your way through the concentric circles of playing with sexual partners, using drugs, getting married, raising children, developing a career, and finally, having dissolved your fascination and need to do all of that, getting down to the business of full-time meditation."

• This means burning off the karma/fulfilling a need/the present purpose which is distracting you
• You have an onion of purposes that needs to get peeled in order to get to your deepest purpose

Also, here's another one.

"Each pupose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, and useless. Then it should be discarded."

• This is not a sign of failure. This is a sign of growth

Edited November 19, 2017 by Dan Arnautu

[Mrkvn8]

@Dan Arnautu thanks a lot bro

[Mrkvn8]

@Dan Arnautu spot on. Very kind of you from your heart to take the time to write all that shit down

[Dan Arnautu]

@Mrkvn8 No problem. Good luck on your journey.