Did Anyone Else Here Have No Idea What They Wanted To Be?

[Joseph Maynor]

I never had an idea of what I wanted to be.  I didn't want to be anything.  I didn't want to work at all.  But I didn't want to be a bum either.  It's just I never had a career or job that struck me.  I disliked all of them.  I liked them in theory, but had no interest in the practice.  My interests have always been too idiosyncratic for pragmatic pigeonholing.  It has put me at cross-purposes to easy money-making in life.  I realize now I have to custom-design an idiosyncratic career.  I wish I knew this much earlier in life.  This has caused me to feel like a freak and a loser for a lot of my life just because I did not fit into the cubby-holes of our ready-made career options.  

Wanna be a lawyer son?  Fuck no!  How about a doctor?  Why?  Wanna kiss that professor's ass to get into grad school?  Shit.  I just wanna be me and be free man!  But this life has to be purchased in our capitalistic world.  So, career is necessary.  I just needed to have my head screwed on tighter earlier on in life to design my own career much earlier in life.  Yay!  I didn't ask to be born, now I have to purchase my own freedom.  Lucky us.  See?  

Edited November 15, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Nahm]

@Joseph Maynor ABSOLUTE DITTO BRO! I have never had a career appeal to me. I’m 42 and I still don’t. But.....perspective is everything. What you stand to see is yours is of the highest calling. Absolute Freedom. Nothing else will do. Meditation will keep you in the now, where your power is, and keep you from thinking ahead too much. Self Inquiry will reveal the truth in your free nature. The combination of these practices is going to lead you to one day see that you have transcended your suffering & your plights. Others will have questions. Everyone wants absolute freedom. When you reach a place where you answer those questions without self interest, with no regard to self inflation, it will feel nothing like a career. It will be your life purpose realized. Freedom could never be earned or purchased. Only realized. 

[JoJo]

Hi there, same here, I've never had a dream job or career, I've tended to fall into things.  The only time I purposely set out to do something was when I did my teaching qualification as I wanted to travel and wanted to have the option of settling for extended periods to do a 'proper' job and then be able to spend time traveling without having to worry about money.  The plan never materialised; I had my son and his health problems have meant both work and travel are out of the question.  I've tried various things over the years trying to combine looking after him with working but again it came from circumstance rather than any kind of desire to do a certain type of thing.  None of them have worked out!  So currently I'm trying just to 'go with it' and see what happens.

[Nahm]

@JoJo the hero’s journey is beautiful.

[JoJo]

@Nahm , Thank you, to be honest I am struggling at the minute with how my journey is going, I feel so sad for my son and I'm finding it hard to lift myself out of it so just trying to 'let it be' for now but generally, yes, I agree with you

[MaxBlank]

Beautiful starter, Joseph. I'll share a little of my history with you. For most of my life I had NO idea (not a clue) of what I wanted to be. 

I have a picture of myself from when I was two or three years old (got it when my mother passed away). I was dressed in a little Army uniform, with a wooden rifle in my hands. I had a kind of a sad and lonely look in that picture... and Voila! 40 years later was retiring from the Army! Does the idea of conditioning and blindly following a worldly path come to mind?

To make this long story very short. I came to a point when I realized that. I just followed what I thought on the surface, and realized I never investigated my own reality. in fact I began to see that I passed by many opportunities to change...

I eventually completely changed. I became open to new possibilities. 

Bring it to the present, I am pretty much of a perspective of BEING peace, encouraging peace; personally in favor of approaching a monastic lifestyle (basically practicing Buddhism just to kind of sum it up). I seek to develop more peace, harmony, compassion, loving kindness.

I have discarded much of the attachments to my unhealthy past: lots of wrong thought, wrong concentration, wrong view, wrong livelihood, wrong speech, and so on. I don't do too much thinking anymore (it has its place). I feel; trust my intuition, sense. I let go, remain non-judgmental more,. I encourage goodness, kindness, and the betterment of humanity. These ideas I am sharing are on the path of self actualization.  I know that.

 

Thanks, and stay true.

[egoless]

@Joseph Maynor As the one who really resonates with you in that - my life purpose is being absolutely freedom. I will tell you that the only way to achieve that freedom of choice is to become financially stable and independent. When you generate enough financial security in your bank account you will be more daring and risky to take chances. Plus I was reading the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" and I agree with author's main idea. 

Don't follow your passion and Be so good they can't ignore you (or the importance of skill). Mastering something and becoming successful at what you do sparks passion in you and not vice versa (for most people). I am like you, unfortunately I don't have pre-existing passion I just love to explore new ideas and new fields. I love constant novelty and freedom. But wandering around like this will do no good in the end for us. We need to concentrate on one skill and master it. Eventually the value we create with this skill will be so good that they can't ignore it. When you feel valuable, you feel happy and passionate.

 

Edited November 18, 2017 by egoless

[Nahm]

@MaxBlank thank you for your service, and for what’s it’s worth, you strike me as an amazing person. That’s a life story I bet a lot of people would benefit from reading. 

[Leo Gura]

@Joseph Maynor The cost of freedom is passion, knowing exactly what you want, and hard work.

Be glad you were born into an era where freedom is possible.

You could have been born a slave or a serf just 500 years ago.

In Africa, slaves still exist today. You can buy one for $30-$70. The next life, you might be born as one of them. So don't squander this opportunity.

[Joseph Maynor]

I wanted to be a philosopher that didn't work for a university.  And I wanted to be a freelance writer.  Those go back to my college days.  I mastered writing because I had it in my mind that I sucked at it when I was in high school and the early part of college.  But I was always fascinated by writers, and I like the independence that great writers have to publish whatever suits them and their taste.  There is a nice freedom in that.  Looking back on this -- I can see now that I was gonna have a big problem fitting into the stock career choices that we have.  I just lacked the information on what to do about it.

Edited November 19, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[RichardY]

 

[Nahm]

I realized late in life I always just wanted to know my self. Now I realize I wanted to be me. 

[egoless]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Joseph Maynor The cost of freedom is passion, knowing exactly what you want, and hard work.

Be glad you were born into an era where freedom is possible.

You could have been born a slave or a serf just 500 years ago.

In Africa, slaves still exist today. You can buy one for $30-$70. The next life, you might be born as one of them. So don't squander this opportunity.

Leo, you worked so many years in different fields to find your passion. If it was so linear instead of game design you would dream about being life coach in your childhood. The problem is some people are just passionate about many different topics and fields. What is the strategy then? You can't master every single one of them. Thus, you should stick and concentrate on the field you have currently the most experience and knowledge. That way you are already on your way to master it and then success and mastery yields passion. Don't you agree that when you become master of something and become valuable person it sparks passion in your life? As I understood there are two opposing views on that matter. You are proponent of the opposing idea. You first advise to search for passion which may take decades of trial and error for people like me and @Joseph Maynor . What if none of them are universally true and it all depends on your personality...

P.S. If I had as much information about careers and my personality as I have now I would definitely choose other career than Finance. But what can I do about it right now. I already have 3 years of work experience in it and Master level double degree. Should I waste all these years and start "heroic" journey for passion? (which I have for many different fields). Being a dreamer is good when you are asleep but reality requires you to work your ass off to sustain yourself. I've seen many people who took risk and followed their passion - eventually ending up in poverty and regretting it all. It's all about risk to reward my friend. 

Edited November 19, 2017 by egoless

[dude]

@egoless Already have 3 years, some people already have 15 years and still quit.

If you believe in the finance industry you should stick with it. If you think it is not doing much good you should seek something else. Or you could find a way to bring the good side of finance out. I think being so good they can't ignore you is really important. But you first need something that is worth it to you to get really good at. 

[egoless]

8 minutes ago, dude said:

@egoless Already have 3 years, some people already have 15 years and still quit.

If you believe in the finance industry you should stick with it. If you think it is not doing much good you should seek something else. Or you could find a way to bring the good side of finance out. I think being so good they can't ignore you is really important. But you first need something that is worth it to you to get really good at. 

How Finance is not important? Business and Finance field in particular creates the Economy (local and maybe even global) which is one of the essential pillars of development and advancement. However, I find it way too repetitive and sitting whole my life in one office just does not suit me. I love movement, novelty and creativity. I have very analytical mind as well. That's why I am thinking about Financial Audit because it is more lively and you get to travel a lot and investigate lots of different Businesses. 

[Leo Gura]

13 hours ago, egoless said:

Leo, you worked so many years in different fields to find your passion. If it was so linear instead of game design you would dream about being life coach in your childhood. The problem is some people are just passionate about many different topics and fields. What is the strategy then? You can't master every single one of them. Thus, you should stick and concentrate on the field you have currently the most experience and knowledge. That way you are already on your way to master it and then success and mastery yields passion. Don't you agree that when you become master of something and become valuable person it sparks passion in your life? As I understood there are two opposing views on that matter. You are proponent of the opposing idea. You first advise to search for passion which may take decades of trial and error for people like me and @Joseph Maynor . What if none of them are universally true and it all depends on your personality...

P.S. If I had as much information about careers and my personality as I have now I would definitely choose other career than Finance. But what can I do about it right now. I already have 3 years of work experience in it and Master level double degree. Should I waste all these years and start "heroic" journey for passion? (which I have for many different fields). Being a dreamer is good when you are asleep but reality requires you to work your ass off to sustain yourself. I've seen many people who took risk and followed their passion - eventually ending up in poverty and regretting it all. It's all about risk to reward my friend. 

Having too many passions isn't the problem. The problem is that you're not focused on anything.

If you have, say, 10 passions, rank them from top to bottom, and make the top-most your LP, and get to work.

It doesn't have to be perfect. You will adjust along the way. But you do need to really fucking passionate about something, anything.

Of course your passion with develop as you gain mastery. But you do not just pick a random thing to master and then become good at it. It doesn't work that way at all. You will never attain anywhere near mastery in anything you're not already passionate about. The passion is what's necessary to bust through all the impenetrable obstacles which will inevitably arise. Without passion and a clear, compelling vision, you will quit within a month.

It doesn't really matter what you dream about, but you do have to care enough about it to dream.

[elias]

Quote

Did Anyone Else Here Have No Idea What They Wanted To Be?

If I/you really would be I wouldn´t have (spend) so much time consuming actualized.org

[elias]

Quote

 

I wanted to be a philosopher that didn't work for a university.  And I wanted to be a freelance writer.  Those go back to my college days.  I mastered writing because I had it in my mind that I sucked at it when I was in high school and the early part of college.  But I was always fascinated by writers, and I like the independence that great writers have to publish whatever suits them and their taste.  There is a nice freedom in that.  Looking back on this -- I can see now that I was gonna have a big problem fitting into the stock career choices that we have.  I just lacked the information on what to do about it.

 

 

the actual practice is what counts.

the deliberate practice over a long period of time.  .- to be consistent and striving for mastery

[egoless]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Having too many passions isn't the problem. The problem is that you're not focused on anything.

If you have, say, 10 passions, rank them from top to bottom, and make the top-most your LP, and get to work.

It doesn't have to be perfect. You will adjust along the way. But you do need to really fucking passionate about something, anything.

Of course your passion with develop as you gain mastery. But you do not just pick a random thing to master and then become good at it. It doesn't work that way at all. You will never attain anywhere near mastery in anything you're not already passionate about. The passion is what's necessary to bust through all the impenetrable obstacles which will inevitably arise. Without passion and a clear, compelling vision, you will quit within a month.

It doesn't really matter what you dream about, but you do have to care enough about it to dream.

Yeah Leo I understand your point and you are right. But in the beginning I was pretty passionate about Finance. But then I started working in major international company which was really close minded and corporate. Even though I eventually became head of financial department they did not allow freedom of decisions. Even though I knew when the management was fking up they did not listen to my points. Almost similar story happened to me in the previous company. So that's why I lost passion in Finance. This experience sort of imprinted in my mind that Finance is always that corporate and limited. I love making analytical decisions and I am pretty good at it. But, I love novelty and freedom at the same time. So that's why I am stuck with my LP now.

I know it sounds like I am just complaining. But that's my reality unfortunately. 

Edited November 20, 2017 by egoless

[Leo Gura]

@egoless Finance doesn't have to be corporate. That's just all you've bothered to explore.

Corporate is easy because they pay you a comfy paycheck and have carved out a spot for you. It's the path of least resistance. But if you're seriously passionate about a thing, you will probably have to venture out on your own and carve out your own spot. Most people never do that, because they only know how to think inside the box, like sheep, and they are lazy, like sheep. The only options they consider are ones which are laid out for them on silver platter by someone else. With that kind of attitude, there can be no life purpose, there is only earning a paycheck.