I Don't Enjoy Anything?

[sleeperstakes]

So I tend to be extremely neurotic around people, I get into my head massively, get anxious, nervous etc and the result is that I don't really enjoy anything involving anyone's company other than my closest friends (even then after an hour or two they get annoying). This causes me to stay in a lot, which inevitably makes me lonely.

The issue is that I do meditate, exercise, eat healthy, journal, read and express creativity fairly regularly. I just don't find any of this helps me socially. What can I do to actually enjoy other people?

[Truth]

@sleeperstakes

Too much introversion, not enough extroversion. 

Meaning --> Less self-conscious, more spontaneous, less filters over everything you're thinking or want to say, recognizing the value in being with others (an opportunity to build social skills and learning to be happy no matter who you're with or what you're doing)

 

 

 

 

Edited November 13, 2017 by Truth

[Time Traveler]

3 hours ago, sleeperstakes said:

So I tend to be extremely neurotic around people, ...

First, you need to find what causes that. Explore your fears.

[ZX_man]

@sleeperstakes I would say 40% of western culture feels this way. You're case might be more extreme. Both previous advice are good, I would add stretch your comfort zone. Start practicing openness to people over the internet, and eventually adapt those skills to real life.

 

Peace and Love friend.

Edit: I want to add, if you're old enough and have the resources and this is crippling enough, to move locations. I can almost gaurentee this will help you.

Edited November 13, 2017 by ZX_man

[sleeperstakes]

@ZX_man@ZX_man I'm 19, and I might be heading off to university next year. I think I need a large shift in my life to change things up for me because it's not happening at the moment on its own.

I'm going to an rsd free tour in a couple of weeks so hopefully that might help me a little bit. Those guys are pretty spontaneous. 

@Truth do you think forcing myself to be around people more often would help with that?

[ZX_man]

@sleeperstakes Get a therapist at school. Most universities offer them as a free resource. I 100% recommend this as a fellow undergrad especially if you have a previous case of anxiety. Don't count on changing schools being enough to fix your problem.

[Truth]

2 hours ago, sleeperstakes said:

 

@Truthdo you think forcing myself to be around people more often would help with that?

Definitely, but also recognize if it's legitimately best for you to just not be around people, people can waste your time, make sure that this dissatisfaction is really an issue for you, I'll say that building your socail skills will be a very important skill to master in your life. 

[sleeperstakes]

@Truth on reflection, my social skills have definitely improved gradually over the past couple of years, but also forcing myself into the deep end isn't the way to go. It's more just that it's very difficult to strike a balance where I'm uncomfortable but not the point where I'm not learning anything. I'm not naturally an outgoing person so my life purpose probably wouldn't involve surrounding myself with new people all the time. I can recognize that it's an important skill to have but I feel like the distance I've got to travel to become more than mediocre in terms of charisma probably isn't worth the 100% commitment when there are other fields I could become Excellent in in comparison.

[bslpiontds]

@sleeperstakes

I used to be really introverted and uncomfortable around people. (Experienced same difficulties as you do)
I think my introvertness came from a belief of being unworthy, and also got developed by staying too much in comfort-zone.
The anxiety simply faded out slowly as i found more people accepting me as i went to a new school, got more fiends and challenged myself by for example: going to social activities that first-thought doubted the idea.

My best suggestions from my own experience:
Try stay with the un-comfortability when it arises, try breath out the un-comfort & relax.
Go to social happenings although there is a slight uncomfortable feeling/thought about it.
Eventually try a new school and just jump onto it with positivity, do your best around people: be yourself, say what comes to mind although a doubt of the thought arises. People will accept you and love you<3.
 

I recommend watching: "Power of self acceptance" simply loving all parts of you

I recommend reading & trying: Emotional Healing

 

[Truth]

7 hours ago, sleeperstakes said:

@Truth on reflection, my social skills have definitely improved gradually over the past couple of years, but also forcing myself into the deep end isn't the way to go. It's more just that it's very difficult to strike a balance where I'm uncomfortable but not the point where I'm not learning anything. I'm not naturally an outgoing person so my life purpose probably wouldn't involve surrounding myself with new people all the time. I can recognize that it's an important skill to have but I feel like the distance I've got to travel to become more than mediocre in terms of charisma probably isn't worth the 100% commitment when there are other fields I could become Excellent in in comparison.

You'll find your way  Introversion goes full circle. (if you watched Leo's new video)