Starting Cold Approach

[Shroomdoctor]

Hey Guys,
So I decided that Cold Approach might be the best option for dating, as it is both a form to get to know girls, and second a good way for self improvement and learning attraction. The problem I face is my inability to initiate contact. I have gone out like 3-4 times now, walking aimlessly around town and thinking "okay i like her. I should approach her" and then watching as she passed by, with my heart pumping in my chest, unable to move.

Do you have any tips on how to overcome this first obstacle? 

[Spiral]

@Marco_the_Ape Try girls you don't like first, that makes it easier. The first one is the hardest. You can simply ask for directions or something until you get used to talking to strangers.

[poimandres]

I learned this opener works really well to get over approach anxiety and a good conversation opener: "I would be kicking myself later if I didn't say hello to you. I just wanted to see how your day was going?" 

Then after she says good/great/bad, start a conversation about anything, ask her interests, etc.. the more you do it, you'll find the conversation flows from "hello" to "give me your number" after a few tries.

You heart will pound, palms will be sweaty. Maybe try a new environment. I like the coffee shop too. Play eye contact tag with someone will you read a book, they studying, but you still have to approach and say hello eventually.

Edited November 13, 2017 by poimandres

[aurum]

@Marco_the_Ape

There's a ton of different angles I could hit on for this question. But I'll keep it simple and stick to just one.

Say hello to the first stranger you see when you go out. It doesn't matter who it is or what you say, just break that invisible contact barrior.

Then from there, just keep building it. Keep talking to more people. Take the pressure off to say the right thing and just say something. And don't stop.

It's like warming up for a sport. You don't just start slam dunking. Stretch first.

Most people solve that problem by pregaming with a bunch of their friends and getting drunk. It's the same end goal, just a different strategy. But the benefit of doing it this way is that you don't have to posion your body.

[Joel3102]

https://www.goodlookingloser.com/anxiety/program

You could try GLLs approach anxiety buster program.  It gives you weekly challenges that start off pretty damn easy, like just asking directions, and then you're allowed to leave. It gradually builds up until you have no approach anxiety in around 3 months. Will take daily commitment though. I haven't tried this yet, but would like to when I get into cold approach. 

[Shroomdoctor]

Aaaaand the f* 6th time I went out and did not talk to a single girl. How is saying "Hi" so freaking hard. 

[Shroomdoctor]

I did it. I fucking did it. 3 Approaches. The first one was so hilariously bad, I laughed for ten minutes after it. It was inreeeedibly bad. The second one was a bit better. And the third one was okayish. The third irl was incredibly cute though, and she was flattered! She gave me her number totally eager! I can't believe it. 

I'm just glad I finally grew the balls. Never give up.

Edited November 22, 2017 by Marco_the_Ape