How To Make The Choice?

[Vaishnavi]

Hey there. 

Need a little help here. When it comes to personal development, you have to make changes and alteration in so many field of yours. You have to invest and not really care about the results. True. But the problem is, where do you start from? I mean for me, I have to work on myself and that includes working on my diet, my fitness, my morning routine, my addictions (huge one), discipline, MEDITATION, and the list is endless. The problem is where do I start from? Should I start working on studying harder or should I work on my meditation or fitness or my habits, what? Because everything seems equally important to me. I've tried working on one thing at a time but when i'm doing that, my mind play all these games and forces me to look after other stuff and then i get involved into that, and eventually lose the track of the first one. I have done my planning, my goal setting and my Big picture is clear in my head. The real problem is to begin, with what and how?  And because everything, on its core level is interconnected, it makes stuff even more confusing.

[Electron]

What if the reason you are stuck in the choice conundrum is because you like it there? Don't give yourself choices, select something and go for it. If you haven't been highly successful in your past endeavors, One major reason for that might be that you have not been participating in life and working on something, but rather just watching it pass by like a spectator and getting involved in the easy mainstream stuff which your were compelled towards.

(which is what most of the people are into)

So taking part and being active in life is relatively new for your mind & body and it requires a lot of action. The sensations that you feel is just your mind wanting to maintain the status quo and its masking its refusal to work as a confusion not to know what to work on. 

Anyway, What I would recommend to do first is meditation and studies. You can also accommodate exercise in your list of habits after you become comfortable with these two, Its good for will power and gives you energy. 

[WickedIrish]

You sound like a student, I was one as well. Focus on grades and use free time to expand your mind. Grades and mindfulness is a great start.

[100rockets]

For me picking a few main areas that are most important to me and taking small steps to improve in each works best. I recommend trying that That way you're not neglecting the other areas. You can pick 2 or 3 things to start working on and then add on to those once the first few have become a routine. I think Meditation is the best place to start as it can help with addictions and help you study better (not necessarily harder because you will be more focused and possibly be able to study the same materiel in less amount of time - it becomes easier).

[Vaishnavi]

@Sigma I totally agree with the fact that living life is a new concept for me ( I was just existing for all this while ) and i'll be very honest, I love this more than anything else. And I know its homeostasis that always kicks in. I did start with meditation and my study ethic but the problem is that I feel that if I don't work on my morning routine I won't be able to keep up with my meditation and if I don't work on my addictions and my eating habits then that would drain all my energy and I won't be able to work on my academics. At the end, its all interconnected. 

@WickedIrish oh I am a student. And I know grades are very important so yea i'm pretty much working on it. About mindfulness, i'm at times not able to keep up with it. Thinking of getting those hand bands to remind me every time I forget 

@100rockets that is the problem. All the areas seem equally important to me and I know that meditation is probably THE most important thing (at least that is what I think) and yea, one of the most effective as well. Work in progress.  

 

[Dhana Choko]

Start from establishing meditation routine. Everything else will follow.

[Isle of View]

 

@Vaishnavi

don't beat yourself up too much 

I think you're doing fine. Look at the list of all the things you do already. It's awesome.

 

My little advice is this: listen to your Little Voice inside. What does it tell you? 
Sometimes it's better to be still for a moment and listen inside. Loosen up the inner tensions and let the answer unfold.

 

Kind regards, 
Chris

Edited February 24, 2016 by Isle of View

[Vaishnavi]

@Dhana Choko yes I've started working on my meditation. I guess my mind just wanted confirmation from someone.

@Isle of View that is exactly what I'm trying to tell myself most of the time that I'm not doing bad but it's as if my mind is not willing to accept it. And yes, I do listen to my heart because that little voice you're talking about is all I have.

Thank you all.

 

[Jay Brown]

@Vaishnavi You value Excellence which is why you are not happy with yourself, and you should be! because not a lot of people think like you, they think if they are trying that is enough, Im like you too, i work in a target orientated job, and im always at war with competition making sure im the best, i get the confirmation when i see that my $$ are more than everyone else and you dont get to see that which is why you wanted confirmation,. 

 

 

anyways good to see someone like you ! good luck 

[Vaishnavi]

@Jay Brown you just made me feel a lot better because it feels so good to know that there is someone who can think like you. Yes I too like to be the best in whatever I'm doing. I know it's my ego talking and it's not a really healthy drive but I still like it. 

Good luck to you as well.

[MIARIVEL]

@Vaishnavi

I prioritize tasks from importance. I usually pick three top tasks I need to get done daily that are non-negotiable. E.g. work our half an hour, read for one hour, and study for another hour. I schedule this into my day and every single task I commit myself to do, that is where my focus is. Shut off your phone, your lap top, any distractions and for that allocated time just focus on the task at hand and get it done. 

Too many times when we are too busy multi-tasking trying to get a million things done at once (yes I am guilty of this) but when you look back at your day, what have your learnt, achieved? did you get all the tasks you wanted to do in a way that you have given 100% of your effort. Usually when I ask myself this the answer is no. 

So I have made a commitment to myself to focus on the task at hand for the time I have scheduled it in and anything else, phone calls, social media, everything else, can wait till I am done until I have finished what I need to do. It’s also a matter of what is important to you. I hate exercising and I hate the gym but I have committed myself 1/2 hour a day to exercise weather its going for a walk or run or home exercises because I value my health.

Hope this helps.

[gian]

@Vaishnavi i have struggled with this is as well (as i am sure most everyone has) i used to think setting a routine and habits were too conforming to society, lame, mundane, the list goes on.....i cant believe i went all the way through undergrad and graduate school with that mindset.....

i have been working on self improvement through videos like Leo's for some time now but only recently have i discovered the power of routine and habit (check out "the power of habit" if you can as well) 

i know how insane everything can be especially while in school, but just start with small habits and all else will begin to fall into place. tweeks to your habits and minor changes/additions will be inevitable as you learn, grow, and progress.

like some others mentioned, just start off with making a habit to meditate. my first habit that has been very consistent for months has just been to meditate first thing in the morning for 15 minutes....i created another habit by listening to Tai Lopez's 67 Steps once a day. (even if someone doesnt like his work just the habit of consistently keeping up with it is important)

in order for this to make more sense, here is an example of the habits i have as well as those i have honestly just begun to implement.....and i personally do not have set times to do the majority of these because of my sporadic schedule so even just composing a small list of habits you want to accomplish would be good. everyone will approach this differently.

• meditate for 15 minutes every morning
• complete the 5 minute journal right after http://www.pdf-archive.com/2014/10/30/the-five-minute-journal/ (those are the only things i try to accomplish first thing in the morning...the following happen whenever because my work schedule is all over the place)
• postural stretches/yoga 15 minutes
• listen to one of the 67 steps
• listen to an audiobook to some extent while driving throughout the day
• write a post or reply on this forum at least once a day
• work on guitar exercises for at least 15 minutes a day
• complete the 5 minute journal at night

writing simple habit like these down and checking them off for each day is almost necessary for me to make sure i do them or at least complete as many as possible.

hope this example helps!

 

 

 

[Donald]

@Vaishnavi  It happens to be confused, 

On 2/24/2016 at 9:13 PM, Dhana Choko said:

Start from establishing meditation routine. Everything else will follow.

When I first knew about  Self development for the first two months I was literally overwhelmed by the vast range of ideas/habits and knowledge I could gain . Without noticing I was creating a vicious circle,  I was in my little bubble all the time . I was running after " achievements " . And the best advice is to build a meditation habit , 2nd reading habit and the rest will follow. ?

[Vaishnavi]

@MIA.RIVEL I know humans suck at multitasking. I guess its in our blood to do stuff we know is not good for us. You're right. Shut off the distractions and do your work. Will work on it. 

P.S. I too hate going to the gym so I just walk as much as I can 

@gian thank you so much for the example. Its very helpful.

@Donald EXACTLY!! This is what is happening to me. I AM overwhelmed with all this stuff but the possibilities truly excites me. I mean the feeling you get when you know you can do so much is just WOW. And yes, I know the power of meditation and reading. Work in progress.

Thank you all.