Humor In Stressful Situations

[egoless]

Have you ever felt frozen in stressful situations? You want to stay relaxed and take it in humor but your mind completely shuts down. You want to make a joke but you can't say a word and look stupid. Let's say you are in conflict with someone and you had argument. There are two ways whether you become aggressive and attack or another way (better Imho) you turn it in humor and distress the situation. Or maybe you are dealing with dysfunctional people and humor is the best weapon against those sometimes. It is so hard to stay cool and chilled. Is there a way to develop this ability to stay relaxed an humorous in any situation? 

Edited November 11, 2017 by egoless

[Key Elements]

@egoless Prevention is better than cure. Once you get to know the person, and the person is aggressive by nature or most of the time, or if the person can't offer anything in value and keeps on at the nonsense, it's time to move on or keep a distance.

There's a saying:

If you can't find anyone to spend valuable time with, learn something new/profound and put it into action. You will be meeting people this way.

[egoless]

@Key Elements This advice is too idealistic to be true you know : ) There are times when you can't avoid stressful situations. Maybe it happens at work or other institution with closed system. Escape is never good answer in my opinion. It is better and more beneficial to work on yourself and your coping mechanisms because that is life.

[Key Elements]

@egoless Well yes, that's why I mentioned to keep a distance (if you can). I don't mean it in an ideal way. That's why life purpose is important. As you go along, you'll have more choices and take advantage of the opportunities if you can.

[egoless]

@Key Elements yes but sometimes you can't. And better to be ready for those times.

[elias]

in my case: its interesting at which situations I get stressed. 

like the unconscious behavior that I represent and the hectic to act - the thought you have to act immediately..

[Key Elements]

@egoless Ok. I get what you're saying, and you're right. Sometimes we can't prevent such situations -- whether it's at work or even at home.

Now, it looks like you do have experience in dealing with ppl like that. Try your best. There are books written on that -- like Dealing with People You Can't Stand or How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I just want to get to the part where you're at home alone or you're alone somewhere by yourself. You're having some free time and well rested. Do you realize that that is a very precious time -- the present moment? That's the time when you can pick up a pen and notebook and start gaining a skill gradually, to start working on something, to start being out in the open in nature exercising, etc. Don't spend time with any "aggressive / toxic" people during this time. It's time to detoxify. (A lot of info is already written on the forum on meditation and how to destress / detoxify.)

[Nahm]

@egoless you’re unaware of the role of your perspective and practices. You’re focus is on considering what’s appropriate for the other person in the interaction, that’s why you’re having trouble keepin cool. Your focus should be on yourself. Practice practice practice. Transcend anger and reaction. Be an example of love that is undeniable, non-contestable, and shocking to the angry person. It’s not their actions that bother you, it’s your reaction. Meditation twice a day is twice as good as once a day. Exercise works perfectly well during the development period of transcending anger. Your concept of choice between anger and humor is flawed in that there is a third option which is to do nothing. No response. This allows you to be more aware of what is going on inside you. Master that, and magically, that is what you perceive in the world.